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Etiquette

Oh FB.... (again)

SO my friend told me that she got a FB invite to a birthday party.  No big deal, right?  But she's never met this person before...it's her exBF's friends' wife.  The party is in September!  Seriously?  You send out an invite for your birthday party 4 MONTHS in advance to people you've never met?

Ugh...Anyone else find it crazy how much social sites have boomed in the last 5 years and now we have a whole slew of etiquette faux pas to deal with?  Any other good stories?
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Re: Oh FB.... (again)

  • mizjodimizjodi member
    1000 Comments
    Last week a sort of friend that I see briefly at pagaents every year posted a status asking for the addresses of everyone who'd like to be invited to her baby shower.
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  • I have had two friends send me the links to their baby registries this year.  I was not invited to a shower.  Just random message on FB...oh, hey, just in case you want to know where we're registered. 

    Want to know the best way to ensure I don't buy your fourth baby a present?  Send me an unsolicited link to your registry. 
  • I saw a friend RSVP to one of their friends wedding. They invited all of their 400 fb friends. Good luck with that.
  • A friend of mine made an event page for a house party on FB, but forgot to check that it was private.  It wasn't private, and the  local, small town newspaper listed it in their "Events and Happenings" section.  Lots of strangers RSVPed that they were coming, and she had to contact them all individually to apologize, explain her mistake, and say how happy she'd be to host a party for the whole town when she struck it rich. 

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:67b38dde-3579-4f89-aa88-7e49940c597f">Re: Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]A friend of mine made an event page for a house party on FB, but forgot to check that it was private.  It wasn't private, and the  local, small town newspaper listed it in their "Events and Happenings" section.  Lots of strangers RSVPed that they were coming, and she had to contact them all individually to apologize, explain her mistake, and say how happy she'd be to host a party for the whole town when she struck it rich. 
    Posted by jessicabessica[/QUOTE]

    That's an *awesome* story!  That's my new favorite FB-flub story.  Imagine if all those people had just shown up at her house?
  • I'm kind of just shocked that people read the local newspaper.  And that a house party was was considered a happening event. 
  • I am with you Mel, and seriously, does the paper look through FB events to see what people are going to?? Thats a little skeezy if you ask me.
  • My local paper would say things like "Mel Bought Pie Today!" and "Seal Team 6 Ninja Spider Finally Killed by Local Woman," if that were the case.  I'm sort of pissed at my local paper now for not turning my status updates into cautionary tales. 
  • edited May 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:6d055912-2c6e-491a-9a5c-4f956f9a4147">Re: Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm kind of just shocked that people read the local newspaper.  And that a house party was was considered a happening event. 
    Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

    We're talking small town Maine here.  And it was kind of a theme party, so I didn't see the paper ad, but they might have listed it a little more creatively.

    ETA: I totally agree it's sketch.  Maybe they have a high school intern that is in charge of putting together their events section. 

  • My personal favorite is creating an event for your own baby shower then making your status "comment or message me to let me know if your coming to my shower"...my answer was no...a really big no....
  • When my best friend got married last year, I was MOH and sent out paper invitations for her bachelorette party.  As it got closer, she posted about her b-party in her status several times asking anyone out in FB land if they would like to come.  All of her FB friends were definitely not invited to the wedding, and we already had everything planned out with a limo (that she made us get), so we really didn't want to add random people!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:d0688100-6ed9-464b-ac8f-4f8f4130332c">Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]SO my friend told me that she got a FB invite to a birthday party.  No big deal, right?  But she's never met this person before...it's her exBF's friends' wife.  The party is in September!  Seriously?  You send out an invite for your birthday party 4 MONTHS in advance to people you've never met? Ugh...Anyone else find it crazy how much social sites have boomed in the last 5 years and now we have a whole slew of etiquette faux pas to deal with?  Any other good stories?
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

    <div>I've blocked all event requests from a friend who's in a band. I'm sorry, but I don't need an invite to every freaking show you play and every event you feel the need to promote. I told him if he wants to invite me to something and actually have me come he needs to tell me in person. The 2-3 invites a week was getting absurd.</div><div>
    </div><div>Facebook can be a great tool for invites, but seriously people, don't invite your entire friends list... </div>
  • lizzie- wow. RUDE bride that she didn't even run that by you guys first if you were the ones planning it. rude rude rude

    mel- you're freakin hilarious

    I had said this in a prior post but a while ago I got an "event invite" which I thought was strange bc it was from this person on my fb that I have only met once and he is not completely on the other side of the country.
    I look at it and it's something along the lines of, "Hey [blank] and I got married two weeks ago but we didn't have a big wedding or anything since we did the military thing  (for people that don't know what that means.. it means a JOP wedding. and that is SOOOO offensive to me as a military bride for that to be called "the miltary thing" to do .. RUUUDE) Here is where we are registered so you guys can celebrate with us!"

    ooooh.. thank you.. thank you for insulting all military couples around the globe, then telling us that we are "celebrating" you by buying you gifts. WOW.
  • Events are the main thing My FIs  cousins wife (they're best friends and used to be roommates) and her friends constantly send me catalog party invites (Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Jewelry parties, ect). Im getting one like every two weeks and I never go. Those parties are fun every once in awhile but every two weeks.UGHHH
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  • My good friend, who I don't get to see often, is pregnant.  The other day, my mother asked me if I was going to her baby shower this weekend.  I had no idea she was having a baby shower this weekend.   One of our other friends is throwing it, my mother saw the event on FB.  I apparently was sent an invitation through FB, which I didn't see.  If I go in now, and specifically check my events, its there, however, I don't really keep track of those.  I generally just go on and read status updates. Plus I tend to get a lot of crap events, so i don't pay attention.
    I saw this friend last weekend, and no mention of her shower. 
    I was annoyed that I didn't get any other sort of invite, but didn't know if I really should be or if it was normal or not.  I always thought you would get some type of invite.  I have plans that I can't change now (committed to a team race), so I won't be going. 
    Someone else mentioned the status request - the other day another contact had the "email me your address if you want to attend my baby shower". 
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  • I got really giddy about having a successful weekend of wedding planning so I made a Facebook "Note" about it and this really weird egotistical guy who I went to high school with (he literally refers to himself as a Greek god.....yikes) replied to the note saying he regrets to announce that he cannot be in attendance at the wedding. Uhm. At NO point did I ever say that he was invited!!!!! Ick.
  • Ohhhh. i wanna play, i got this yesterday from my friends sister..

    "Because Jacob and I did not have a wedding, we are inviting all our friends and family out for our one year anniversary party. There will be lots of delicious food, the pool will be open, and there will be music...and dancing if you fancy. We will also have alcohol for those old enough to drink. You can byob if you want but there will be children so please act responsibly.

    We are registered at Target. Money and gift cards are okay too. If you're broke and crafty, make us something. If you're a broke musician, play us something. If you're a broke crafty person who makes instruments, I would like a lute, please. If you don't want to get us gifts, that's okay too, but we didn't have a wedding - this is it.

    If you cannot make it, we understand. If you cannot come but would like to send us something (because you're just that awesome) please feel free to send it to this event's location (my parent's house).

    I hope to see everyone there!"

    My Planning Bio **Updated 7/26/11**
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    RSVP Date August 27
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:bd86870b-cd05-4ba3-8f1b-3dd86bb23d52">Re: Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have had two friends send me the links to their baby registries this year.  I was not invited to a shower.  Just random message on FB...oh, hey, just in case you want to know where we're registered.  Want to know the best way to ensure I don't buy your fourth baby a present?  Send me an unsolicited link to your registry. 
    Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

    What is with people having showers past the first baby?  Baby showers are a one time gig.  You don't get to keep having them. 
    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt13e8c6.aspx[/img][/url]
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:3ee57c06-d675-4089-974d-92957308f393">Re: Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ohhhh. i wanna play, i got this yesterday from my friends sister.. "Because Jacob and I did not have a wedding, we are inviting all our friends and family out for our one year anniversary party. There will be lots of delicious food, the pool will be open, and there will be music...and dancing if you fancy. We will also have alcohol for those old enough to drink. You can byob if you want but there will be children so please act responsibly. <strong>We are registered at Target. Money and gift cards are okay too. If you're broke and crafty, make us something. If you're a broke musician, play us something. If you're a broke crafty person who makes instruments, I would like a lute, please. If you don't want to get us gifts, that's okay too, but we didn't have a wedding - this is it. If you cannot make it, we understand. If you cannot come but would like to send us something (because you're just that awesome) please feel free to send it to this event's location (my parent's house). I hope to see everyone there!"
    </strong>Posted by Bethanne1202[/QUOTE]

    My jaw just hit the floor.
    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt13e8c6.aspx[/img][/url]
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:3ee57c06-d675-4089-974d-92957308f393">Re: Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ohhhh. i wanna play, i got this yesterday from my friends sister.. "Because Jacob and I did not have a wedding, we are inviting all our friends and family out for our one year anniversary party. There will be lots of delicious food, the pool will be open, and there will be music...and dancing if you fancy. We will also have alcohol for those old enough to drink. You can byob if you want but there will be children so please act responsibly. We are registered at Target. Money and gift cards are okay too. If you're broke and crafty, make us something. If you're a broke musician, play us something. If you're a broke crafty person who makes instruments, I would like a lute, please. If you don't want to get us gifts, that's okay too, but we didn't have a wedding - this is it. If you cannot make it, we understand. If you cannot come but would like to send us something (because you're just that awesome) please feel free to send it to this event's location (my parent's house). I hope to see everyone there!"
    Posted by Bethanne1202[/QUOTE]

    I would love to reply, "how can you have a one-year anniversary party if you're not married?"
    9.17.2010
    planning

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  • Holy crap.. Then to a friend who is out of the country when she commented how she wished she could be there this comment was left

    "me too. if you guys want to (totally up to you) you could send us something in your place :)"

    The "totally up to you" part doesnt make it better..

    My Planning Bio **Updated 7/26/11**
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    RSVP Date August 27
  • mizjodimizjodi member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:852faf86-5ea6-41dc-b209-bbd4168fc048">Re: Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh FB.... (again) : What is with people having showers past the first baby?  Baby showers are a one time gig.  You don't get to keep having them. 
    Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

    This drives me nuts! The ONLY time I think it's cool to have a second shower is when there's a HUGE age-gap! I.e., we threw a second shower for my bff last fall, but her only other daughter/child just turned 8. Obviously she didn't have baby stuff anymore!

    My FSIL had a second shower. The girls are less than two years apart!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:3f051383-378c-4eeb-b8f4-04d3cdaf67f9">Re: Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Holy crap.. Then to a friend who is out of the country when she commented how she wished she could be there this comment was left "me too. if you guys want to (totally up to you) you could send us something in your place :)" The "totally up to you" part doesnt make it better..
    Posted by Bethanne1202[/QUOTE]


    OMG.  I don't know that I could keep my mouth shut on something like that.  I would say something like:

    "I'm so sorry I can't make it, but since you clearly left the gift giving part 'totally up to me', I thought I'd be one of the 'awesome' ones and get you a gift anyways.  I'm broke, not crafty and not a musician, but I'm an awesome Google-er, so I found you some links that I though you guys might really need:
    -  <a href="http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/etiquette/registry-invitation-peggy-nov05" rel='nofollow'>http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/etiquette/registry-invitation-peggy-nov05</a>

    -  <a href="http://www.frugalbride.com/dosanddonts.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.frugalbride.com/dosanddonts.html</a>

    -  <a href="http://www.wednet.com/wedding-gifts/wedding-articles/Wedding-Gift-Etiquette.Aspx" rel='nofollow'>http://www.wednet.com/wedding-gifts/wedding-articles/Wedding-Gift-Etiquette.Aspx</a>

    Hope you enjoy my awesome "wedding" gift and please, put it to good use!!!"
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_oh-fb-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a197b8ef-a853-496b-b999-47e9f19f9bbaPost:84ad939c-46c8-4daf-a288-8e6fb2fdaac8">Re: Oh FB.... (again)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh FB.... (again) : OMG.  I don't know that I could keep my mouth shut on something like that.  I would say something like: "I'm so sorry I can't make it, but since you clearly left the gift giving part 'totally up to me', I thought I'd be one of the 'awesome' ones and get you a gift anyways.  I'm broke, not crafty and not a musician, but I'm an awesome Google-er, so I found you some links that I though you guys might really need: -  <a href="http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/etiquette/registry-invitation-peggy-nov05" rel='nofollow'>http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/etiquette/registry-invitation-peggy-nov05</a> -  <a href="http://www.frugalbride.com/dosanddonts.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.frugalbride.com/dosanddonts.html</a> -  <a href="http://www.wednet.com/wedding-gifts/wedding-articles/Wedding-Gift-Etiquette.Aspx" rel='nofollow'>http://www.wednet.com/wedding-gifts/wedding-articles/Wedding-Gift-Etiquette.Aspx</a> Hope you enjoy my awesome "wedding" gift and please, put it to good use!!!"
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

    Love. This.
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    Anniversary
  • edited May 2011
    Wow, I must have a ton of friends that do not know etiquette. I think it may be the way weddings and receptions are done in Utah (the dominant religion here is Mormon or LDS and only certain people can attend the religious ceremony, then after they have an open reception where the wedding party stands in a and greets the guests. Guests come and go as they please and its usually the close friends and family that stay the whole time of the reception.) 

    On average in a year I get about 6 invites to a friends or friend of friends wedding reception through facebook. Mostly its a STD or "give me your addresses if you want to attend." I've always thought they were tacky posting it to facebook like that. 
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