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Question: How not to piss off mom

IrishDreamerIrishDreamer member
First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Not Engaged Yet
Okay, I'm put in a bit of a spot, and even my grand unit wasn't much help.

BF's mom surprised me for Christmas by buying me a brand new set of dishes. BF has 2 sets of Currier & Ives dishes that I can not stand. She knew that, and really tried to do something for me that would make me soooo happy, and she succeeded.

The Problem?? I haven't done Christmas with my family, and I picked up my sister from my mom the other day, I told her how excited I was about the dishes - she got pissy, and said "I know. I bought you a 16 piece set of dishes. Red, terra cotta dishes". Then proceeded to basically tell me I needed to return the dishes BF's mom bought me, that it was "in my best interest". 

First off, I can't handle red - it makes me crazy. I'm an earth element, and red symbolizes fire - fire tears up earth. That's pretty much exactly what it does to me, and she knows it - so why in God's name would she buy me red dishes?? 

Second, she knew two weeks ago that BF's mom bought me dishes, BF told her! She could've returned them, or told me about it, given me a gift receipt and let me return it for something that would make me equally as happy.

How am I supposed to not offend someone?? I'm a little bit put off by my mom's response, and I just don't want to hurt anyone. 

Any suggestions??? 
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Re: Question: How not to piss off mom

  • NurseyKNurseyK
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Here's what I had to do this year in regards to gifts...

    Say "Thank you, I appreciate what you give me because I know you thought of me when you bought it" and leave it at that. 

    Your mom doesn't need to know what you do (or don't do) with her gift and your BF's mom's gift. It's not her choice nor does she get the right to mandate what you do with your stuff. When you have her over for dinner, just tell her that you like the other color scheme better and you did xyz with the dishes she bought.

    (but if you throw the dishes against a wall in frustration, perhaps tell a little white lie, lol)
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  • IrishDreamerIrishDreamer member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-not-piss-off-mom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e1a6ec16-581b-4e90-9798-4a101e22527fPost:97891997-40eb-4b24-a61e-622c35aee731">Re: Question: How not to piss off mom</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here's what I had to do this year in regards to gifts... Say "Thank you, I appreciate what you give me because I know you thought of me when you bought it" and leave it at that.  Your mom doesn't need to know what you do (or don't do) with her gift and your BF's mom's gift. It's not her choice nor does she get the right to mandate what you do with your stuff. When you have her over for dinner, just tell her that you like the other color scheme better and you did xyz with the dishes she bought. <strong>(but if you throw the dishes against a wall in frustration, perhaps tell a little white lie, lol)</strong>
    Posted by NurseyK[/QUOTE]

    <div>I literally snorted at the bolded part. :)</div><div>
    </div><div>My mom is just a complete...control freak. BF told her that his mom bought me dishes, because 99.8% of my gifts this year surrounded my love for cooking, and my kitchen. So, he told her, thinking she would be happy that I would be so happy..... BACKFIRED... mom is just pissy, and keeps putting off getting together for our Christmas</div>
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I would also thank her for the gift and use the dishes you like.  If you keep the red ones maybe only use them if you have your mom over for dinner?  

    It would drive me crazy if my mom demanded I return anything BF's mom gave me as a gift.  Both sets of dishes are yours, and you can do whatever you want with them.

    If I was in this situation and she demanded to know if I had returned the other set, I would just say I liked them both and didn't want to have to choose between them.  Or something.  I pretty much have to use white lies with a lot of the gifts my mom has given me over the years because its stuff I wouldn't use/wear/get for myself.
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  • bsidebellabsidebella
    First Comment
    You could also sell them... ;)

    image 170 Invited (holy crap!)

    image 98 are coming to party!

    image 29 have other plans

    image 43 need to respond!

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    "Bside - You're just too sexy for your own good" ~ leia1979

    "True love = I still love you even though we hang out all the time and most other people would be tired of each other already" ~ flygirlmeg
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  • ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Tell your mom it's your bussiness what you do with the plates and secretly return hers!
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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