Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Adult Reception

kmarienyckmarienyc
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiancee are getting married this summer and throughout the entire planning process knew that our recpetion was going to be adult only.  The only children attending  are in the bridal party and they are our nieces and nephews who are  all school age children and teenagers.  
After sending out my invites I received an email from my cousin asking if the "adult recption" that is on every invitation only applies to non family members.  I have to admit I didn't even knowhow to respond.  I thought that was pretty clear.  My cousin has a toddler and so ddo many friends and family that are invited but because of the venue and limited guests listed we could not invite whole families.  My sisters feel like I should make an acception but what about the other guests family and friends who are not allowed to bring their kids?  Are we being insensitive because we are not having babies at the wedding?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Adult Reception

  • ahhhitsshannynahhhitsshannyn member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Let them know that only the people addressed on the invitation are invited and you will hope to see them there.

     This right here is why it is rude to put "Adults Only" on the invitations.
    My Planning Website
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Fatty girl blog
    image
    Report Reply
  • chelseamb11chelseamb11 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    You shouldn't have written "adult reception" to begin with. You should have written the names of those who were invited on the envelope. You are not being insensitive, but you also didn't handle it the best either.
     
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    Teachery Blog
    Report Reply
  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    No, you aren't being insensitive by not having children, but putting "adult reception" on the invitations is quite rude.  Too late now, but for those reading, you should only address those who are invited on the invitation and not make reference to those that are not. 

    You are well within your rights to say, "No, cousin.  The invitation was just for you and your H". 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • mbodymbody
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I would say no to your cousin. If you make the acception for her, other may also want it and you'll find yourself in a tougher situation. Stick to your guns.
    image

    Anxiously awaiting baby #1! Baby BOY Due: May 30, 2013! Lilypie Maternity tickers

    Report Reply
  • BubbsNBubbsBubbsNBubbs member
    First Comment
    First off....no you are not being insensitive.  You wanted an "adult" reception, so that's what you are going to have to stand up for.  Family or not.  Wouldn't you pissed if you saw that an adult reception was taking place....you find a sitter...you are all excited to celebrate your friends' wedding at an "adult" event and there were other people's children there???

    That being said....you really should not have even put the "adult reception" on the invite.  That was a bit tacky, IMO. 

    You should have just put Mr and Mrs. So-and-so on the invite.  IF they RSVP with their children, you call them and explain that the kiddos were not invited.
    Report Reply
  • sarabellamsarabellam member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_adult-reception-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3bc7c338-5d8b-4c3a-809a-e5c4bffbcc2cPost:d53e2691-bb70-4c74-9701-e916a7e29fae">Adult Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiancee are getting married this summer and throughout the entire planning process knew that our recpetion was<strong> going to be adult only.  The only children attending  are in the bridal party and they are our nieces and nephews who are  all school age children and teenagers.</strong> [/QUOTE]
    Then it's not really an adults only reception, is it?

    [QUOTE] My sisters feel like I should make an <strong>acception</strong> but what about the other guests family and friends who are not allowed to bring their kids?  Are we being insensitive because we are not having babies at the wedding?
    Posted by kmarienyc[/QUOTE]
    Exception, not acception. Changes the meaning just a wee bit there. No you aren't being insensitive by not inviting babies, but, as PPs have said, you WERE rude to put "adult reception" on the invitations.
    Report Reply
  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    In addition to what Bubbs wrote, because you put Adult Reception and you have invited children (even though they are WP and family) be preparred for some pissed off people when they show up sans kids and there are a bunch there.  That's another reason why it's best to not put "adult whatever" on your invitations. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • enewsome2enewsome2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Sounds confusing!
    We are having an adult reception and didn't put anything about "adults only" on the invitation, but but it on the website and are using word of mouth. Of course, if the ship has sailed to not put "adult" reception, oh well, that ship has sailed and you shouldn't stress about it now.

    However, I think that if it is an adult reception, then it should just be adults. Ours is adult as well, and I almost made exceptions to be able to have flower girls, etc, but I decided its just not worth it. I think you really need to choose to let everyone bring kids or no one.
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited March 2012
    I don't get why people go so far as to actually write 'adult only' when they're having kids there.  If you wan't an adult event then go for it but don't actually put phrases like that in writing.

    Report Reply
  • lhyphenalhyphena member
    First Comment
    I do not think it was rude. I know a girl who did this because her future MIL said there were a lot of small children on their side of the family, and guests would probably bring the children anyway. Not everyone knows invitation etiquette. If you think this might mean some of your guests, be clear. It's better to make sure they know. Lastly, I would reserve immediate exceptions for close family, not cousins, be they first, second or third.
    Report Reply
  • e4bradbue4bradbu member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    If anything your cousin is being a little insensitive by questioning what was clearly stated. It is perfectly fine to have an adult reception. 
    As a note to the other commenters it is rude that several of you felt the need to be repetitive about proper invite decorum. Yes we all get it, you are not suppose to say "adults only". However, would you tell a stranger who asked you for directions that their shoes did not match their outfit? I would hope not. After all her invitations already went out, it is not the end of the world, and it is her wedding not yours. Let's stick to the question that was asked. 
    Report Reply
  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    e4bradbu said:
    If anything your cousin is being a little insensitive by questioning what was clearly stated. It is perfectly fine to have an adult reception. 
    As a note to the other commenters it is rude that several of you felt the need to be repetitive about proper invite decorum. Yes we all get it, you are not suppose to say "adults only". However, would you tell a stranger who asked you for directions that their shoes did not match their outfit? I would hope not. After all her invitations already went out, it is not the end of the world, and it is her wedding not yours. Let's stick to the question that was asked. 
    @e4brabu this thread is from 2012...
    It is improper and rude to put "adults only" on an invitation because it points out who is not invited.  It is, however, perfectly fine to have a kid-free wedding (ceremony and reception).  Those invited to the ceremony, though, should be invited to the reception. Whether or not one's shoes match one's outfit has nothing to do with this as it only reflects on that person's appearance and is not rude or offensive to other people.  Also, when posting on the internet, you cannot control how people respond.  Another thing to remember is that these boards help people who may have a similar question but are a thread started by someone else.  So, the advice posted by people can help not only the OP but lurkers as well.
    image
    Report Reply
  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    e4bradbu said:
    If anything your cousin is being a little insensitive by questioning what was clearly stated. It is perfectly fine to have an adult reception. 
    As a note to the other commenters it is rude that several of you felt the need to be repetitive about proper invite decorum. Yes we all get it, you are not suppose to say "adults only". However, would you tell a stranger who asked you for directions that their shoes did not match their outfit? I would hope not. After all her invitations already went out, it is not the end of the world, and it is her wedding not yours. Let's stick to the question that was asked. 
    Nope.



    Report Reply
  • melbelleupmelbelleup member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Okay, just a question... when is your wedding??? If it's this summer, your invites shouldn't even be out yet.. really only ones that should be out are Jan-April at most. But none the less, like others said, "adult only" on the invitation is very rude especially because you plan to have kids there.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
  • melbelleupmelbelleup member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    GAH. This is a zombie thread and we all fell for it... it's from March 2012.... @KnotPorscha can you lock this? thanks! and other people reading, this is why you don't write "adults only"
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards