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Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Just Engaged and Proposals
Just Engaged and Proposals
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New here, advice?

twilightmoon1twilightmoon1
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in Just Engaged and Proposals
Hi

Just joined, I am new to this site. I have been dating a girl long distance from other side of the country. We are both in school and graduating around the same time next summer.

We are bf/gf at the moment, and live far appart, I'm interested in proposing to her at some point, maybe if we can arrange a visit between now and when we graduate.

I don't know anything about rings (cost, her ring size, etc), or really anything else about how to propose, what to do, what not to do, etc. If anyone has any advice they can give me I'd love to know.

Thank you
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Re: New here, advice?

  • achiduckachiduck member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    When you say you're both in school, are we talking high school or college?

    Have the two of you talked about getting married yet? Where will you live when you get married? Which one of you will make the move or will you both move and live somewhere between the two coasts?

    Do you know her preferences in rings - ie. stone shape, gold colour, etc? As far as researching costs, you'd be best to go to a jeweller and talk to them about it. If you go for a diamond slightly under a 'round figure' it will be less costly (ie. 0.95 carats instead of 1.0) and obviously an I colour will cost less than something rated an F in colour.

    I would start with figuring out those things and go from there.
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  • twilightmoon1twilightmoon1
    First Comment
    We're both finishing bachelor degrees, and will both be going into graduate programs after we are finished next year. I will likely move closer to her, she has reasons she won't be moving far from her area. We haven't had any formal proposal but we have talked about being married, I would want to do any formal proposal in person.

    I don't need to pick out a ring in her absence, but I wouldn't mind having some idea what to look for, how much to save up, where to go, etc. I can't speak for her preferences, how do most guys handle this sort of thing?
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  • calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    It really depends on her, too.  Is she the sort of girl that loves surprises and big elaborate proposals, or she the "let's go pick out a ring together" type?  What types of jewelry does she wear normally?  Start with mostly silver or mostly gold and work from there- then look at what types of stones she prefers.  Does she like quirkier or more traditional jewelry?  More modern styles or more retro?

    So much of this stuff just depends on the person.  We see girls on this board who are seriously upset that their boyfriends didn't propose with skywriting and mariachi bands and a bazillion karat diamond in a glass of champagne.  (Or super excited that their boyfriends did.)I personally would have hated anything like that.

    Is there a reason you're not comfortable just asking her?  Maybe going ring shopping with her just to get an idea of what she likes?  Next time one of your friends gets engaged, you could always casually bring up the whole "So what did you think of that proposal story?" thing.

    Also, I know you said you're long distance- have you ever lived together in the same area?  If not, I strongly suggest doing that before getting engaged.  LDRs can be great, but they're completely different than the relationship you have if you see each other every day- and until you've had that, you really can't know for sure if you'd be compatible in a marriage.  (If that's the case, it would explain for me at least why you don't seem to know the answers to some of these basic questions, like her jewelry tastes.)
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  • Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Hi and welcome. 

    There is a big ring thread at the top of this page if you are looking for ideas.

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  • twilightmoon1twilightmoon1
    First Comment
    I know she does not wear a whole lot of jewelry. I know she would like something more modern as far as a style but not sure exactly what she'd want beyond that.

    I will check out the ring thread.

    I'm well aware that a LDR is not the same thing as living closer together, but until we both graduate that's not going to change.

    I have no problem asking her questions, but I also would like some of it to be a surprise, since you only get one chance to propose. Maybe the surprise thing is more for me? I know when I tell her I have a surprise for her she always wants to know what it is right away and gets upset if I don't spill the beans.

    Thanks all for the help and advice!

    I will keep lurking around here and learn what I can.
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    are you close with any of her friends or family?  It may be a good idea to get someone close to her to get her opinion as well; All my friends knew my taste, so if my finace needed their opinion they would be able to help him.  We ended up picking out my ring together; which as it happened I'm glad I got to "shop" a bit because then I knew exactly what I wanted :) 
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