Florida-West Coast

Shower DRAMA, ok maybe i'm at fault

My MOH and other local BM are always at odds and exact opposite work schedules from me so its VERY difficult getting anything done...ever.  As a "cancerian" I'm just prone to "if you want something done right, do it yoursefl" and I have NO problem doing it all.  I know my other 3 OOT BMs are kind of phoning it in for my wedding and while my feelings are a little hurt, I'll deal, but I do feel like EVERYTHING shouldn't be my MOH's responsibility.  $ is tight and she's spread pretty thin so the hubs and I were at iParty and picked up some really cool square plastic plates, and then some napkins, and cutlery, and some tablecoths....oh and ok, i picked up a few vases from $ tree too for centerpieces.  I knew she'd be mad at me for helping, but I thought she'd get over it and appreciate that I'm trying to help, besides those plates are REALLY cool.  What made it worse is when I told her my hubs was gonna hook up the flowers through his fave place to go (LA VIE EN ROSE).  MY MOH FLIPPED OUT!!!!!!!!!! I got scolded and yelled at for most of my day today.  It was bad.  Was I so wrong to want to help out?  I think she's more pissed that I ruined "her vision", but it is supposed to be MY party???  I dunno, I'm not a big wedding person, so I don't understand all the rules .  Comments????

Re: Shower DRAMA, ok maybe i'm at fault

  • edited December 2011
    I would let her do it.  You are a guest at your party, not the host.  She will pull something great together, and you can sit back and relax!

  • edited December 2011

    I agree with pp.  You have spent hours upon hours planning for your big day.  You can control every detail of your vision for that part, but this is your MOH's responsibility.  I completely understand wanting to take the reigns and feel like you want to get in there and help, but as hard as it is I would say just let go and relax.  Let the details be a surprise and just enjoy letting someone else plan!

    Brooke + Chavis
    est. 10/10/10


    Photobucket CafeMom Tickers
  • babybchbumbabybchbum member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It is nice of you to want to help her out, and I'm sure inside she is grateful that you picked up some stuff. But as PP said this isn't YOUR Shower, it is a shower for YOU! Let your MOH and BMs plan the event for you and relax and enjoy what they have done for you.
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Carolyn!
    On March 13, 2010 I reaffirmed the LOVE that I have for the MOST important man in my LIFE! And now it is Happily ever after...forever!!!!! Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP.  She might have had other things planned but hadn't shared them with you yet.  If she wasn't able to do these things for you she would probably have said it when she agreed to be in the WP.  I would sit back and relax and let your MOH spoil you with a nice shower =)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • signingjuliesigningjulie member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It is not your responsibility to plan your own shower.  Let her handle it.  It's one less thing for you to have to worry about.
  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    >>Was I so wrong to want to help out?  I think she's more pissed that I ruined "her vision", but it is supposed to be MY party???

    Yep, you were so wrong here.
    The MOH hosts the shower, assisted by the BMs.

    Now, since you are crazy excited about hosting a party with square plates, etc. - you should do that.  Host some kind of cookout or open house or something.  YOU would be the host, and you could say that party would be "MY party."
  • jennifer80808jennifer80808 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the PPs.  I'm sure she does appreciate you trying to help out, but I think that her feelings were probably hurt, and I'm sure she wants to plan something great for you.  Money is tight for most people, and as much as my girls would have LOVED to do something super elaborate, we're going to have an awesome shower at my mom's house.  What's important is the people who will be there, and the memories, not what kind of plates or flowers will be on the table.

    Sit back, relax, and enjoy the party that she plans for you.
    Photobucket Kennedy Aleise 2/19/11 Life As We Know It
  • edited December 2011

    1. A bridal/baby/whatever shower is never a guaranteed thing, so you shouldn't expect it.

    2. You should never be planning your own shower, it's bad etiquette. If your MOH and BM want to plan it, allow them to.


    With the ability for the girls to email each other back and forth I see no reason why their schedule should have anything to do with organizing it.

  • heidilein13heidilein13 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanx ladies!  I think she might (out of sheer practicality) still use most of the stuff I got. I apologized....a LOT.  Her frustration with me has abated for the moment and we laughed about what a stubborn a** I am especially when I sent her this link to all your comments!  LOL!  I've 2 months and 2weeks left to make many more faux pas I'm sure.  I appreciate all your input.  I've found these knottie boards to provide me with a slice of sanity amidst all the stress and confusion of wedding planning.  Laughing 
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