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Confused Future Husband

sierraberry32sierraberry32 member
100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
in Chit Chat
 We have a huge guest list because my FI has a really big family. A couple weeks ago one of his Aunts made a mean comment about his grandfather (FYI his grandpa was his father figure and died about 9 years ago) and because of his Aunt, he cut off about half of his family from the guest list. I asked him why so many people and his response was that he didn't realize how many family members didn't really care about him and that his family really wasn't a "family" anymore.

 So he has rewritten his list and it has a lot of his high school friends in there! I was really happy he did this because our original list was so big that we had to cut some of his friends in order to keep all of his family. I like his friends, I think they are really sweet and treat him better than his family.

 Well now he is going back and forth trying to figure out who to cut and who to invite from his family, again... His mind is running in circles and I wish I could say something to make him feel better and make a final decision. He keeps wanting those family members he cut to come to our wedding, even though they anger him. I really don't know what to say....


 
~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~
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Re: Confused Future Husband

  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    The way we decided who was invited and who was cut, was by asking ourselves 'Who will we be in touch with, years to come?". This can be applied to both friends and family.

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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    My wedding planner told me that if you haven't spoken with them in a year and they aren't immediate family, you shouldn't feel obligated to invite them. That helped us weed out a lot.
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  • mrsbiss2bemrsbiss2be
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_confused-future-husband?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:bd9654d7-642f-4506-ab45-8119c381248aPost:d7d88d3c-f184-414f-b84c-5a0b106e00bb">Re: Confused Future Husband</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding planner told me that if you haven't spoken with them in a year and they aren't immediate family, you shouldn't feel obligated to invite them. That helped us weed out a lot.
    Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.
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  • J&K10910J&K10910 member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I would tell him to not waste too much brainpower on this for right now.  If your date in your TK profile is right, you have a solid 10 months until invitations need to go out, and a LOT can change in 10 months.  I'd have him just put them ALL on the guest list for now, and make the decisions of who to cut when th time comes.  Otherwise he's going to go back and forth every couple months and it's going to be unnecessarily stressful.

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  • sierraberry32sierraberry32 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
     Thank you ladies! I will pass on the advice!
    ~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~
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