One More! Vent time.

orangehills · March 2013

So, I just want to take a minute and provide this as a space to betch about the wedding and just get it off your chest. Different from TP Thurs because it's more like, who has driven you crazy or irked you the most during this wedding process?

Mine has only been family. Mainly- FI mom trying to invite her sisters and not listening to me when I said no (after the invites went out). FI sister just not showing up for the shower or ever mentioning it or apologizing or anything to me after. Oh, and FI throwing a fit when I showed him the seating chart that only 9 out of 24 people are there for him.

And the latest I dealt with this past weekend. My brother assumed he could bring his 2 girls (3.5 and 8 months) to the reception, even though we had told him no kids months ago. The dinner is during their bedtime, and I am not going to put my guests through the crudiness of their grumpiness and crying because they are out to dinner and not home going to bed. Plus if they act up at the ceremony, one of them would have to leave and I am not ok with either of them (he or his wife) missing my wedding. Our family is tiny, just them and me and my mom, so we're pretty close. So they've known about this for ages, but are SO unorganized that they are only now thinking about finding sitters and all. And then SIL passive aggresively threatened to not go to the reception because they may not be able to have a babysitter. Um No! So they said they will figure something out. Dang straight they will. I've been catering to them with their wedding, kids for the past 5 years and SIL didn't even bring a gift to the bridal shower- no biggie, but just shows that it's all about them and never me at this one time in my life where I can say it is just a little bit, right? Ok call me bridezilla.

Blondy214 · March 2013

I don't think you're being a bridezilla, but even if you are, you're allowed to be

Hands down the person who has driven me the most insane is my mother. Most of the problems/drama/stress that I have had about this wedding comes from my mom. She has added people to my guest list (HER friends, that I had never met before) and then when I told her we didn't have room for them she suggested that I take off a friend of mine that I have known since middle school. She invited people to the shower who were not invited to the wedding even though I told her she shouldn't and asked her not to. She argued with me about the wording of the invitations (she wanted her name as well as all of the other parents' names on them, even though FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves.

Most recently, she tried to tell me that I shoulnd't invite my WP to the RD because "it wasn't appropriate" (but inviting people to the shower who aren't invited to the wedding IS appropriate?) and then tried to tell me that she never said that. UGH she drives me crazy.

phoenix870509 · March 2013

I too have a mother that is driving me nuts. It started back in Novemeber. I have ADHD and I went off my meds for it on Thanksgiving. FI and I want kids and can't do that while I'm on these meds. Doc and I talked about it and she wanted me off them at least 2 months before we started trying. So in the last year I've gone from taking a reletivley high dose to nothing at all. Because of it supressing my appetite and all, I've gained about 30 pounds and several inches on my waist and chest. When I didn't fit into my wedding dress for the first fitting my mom got mad and starting telling me that I was fat and I should never have gone off the meds so close to the wedding...right to my face. I started working out and eatting healthy and lost some weight (gaining it all back in muscle) and a few inches. I had to get a corset back and she hated that. She says she doesn't care what anyone else says and it will take away from the look of the dress. She has invited herself to all sorts of things we did not invite her to and threw a tantrum and hung up on me when I called her out. She is paying for the flowers (her gift to us among other things) and tried to talk me out of the flowers I want. I want two-tone lavender roses, my favs. She says it's too boring. IT'S WHAT I WANT LADY!!!! She also insulted my FMIL because they threw me my shower and was mad FMIL did not contribute any money. FMIL just cooked the food and made the favors, spending money on the supplies. Yeah she spent a lot of money on my shower, too.

Then there's the (now former) day of coordinator. She is someone my mom works with and does this on the side. This woman did not show up for a meeting at the venue, nor did she attend my shower to meet with FSIL/planner to discuss the day of. Now she can't get our wedding day off from work and cannot be our day of. Good riddance! The lady who owns the venue will now be our day-of, and I love this woman. She gets along great with my planner and my mom (they are birthday twins)

And finally one of my BM, let's call her Jen. The girl I had origianlly selected as a bridesmaid, a childhood friend, backed out back in May because she was going to be in 2 other weddings and has her own to plan. Totally understandable. So I asked Jen. Jen has not answered my calls or texts, could not come to my shower (due to a cousin's baby shower) and now can't come to the rehersal. She hasn't gotten her shoes or dress altered. We finally got a hold of her yesterday. A family friend is altering her dress and she can't afford the shoes. So FI and I said we will pay for them, which we are. But before that she was saying "You can replace me." I can't replace you with 4 weeks until the wedding! Ugh, so much drama.

Ok I'm done.

LuckyGirl1713 · March 2013

My biggest pain during this whole wedding process has been my FMIL. She has made a snide comment with every choice I have made during the wedding process. She told us that we shouldn't invite our friends because they won't give us big enough gifts for the wedding. She tried to take over the shower from my bridal party because she didn't like the place they decided to have the shower. She offered to pay for the favors, which was a lovely offer, but told me the favors I liked were stupid. She has told my fiance multiple times that he is fat, because he has gained some weight since he quit smoking. She also insulted by mother. She insists that certain people like the significiant others of the bridal party should not be invited to the wedding.

And the other day she said, "I just can't wait until this headache is all over."

HEADACHE!!! Her son's wedding is a headache to her! I almost flipped out on her but I stayed calm and told my fiance it was time to go home.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

Can I have a couple of TPs for today anyway?

One to someone at work-apparently they overpaid me by $177 for travel I took in AUGUST and now I have to write a check for that. I'm not upset b/c it's not my money, I am upset that it took them so long to catch it.

I also need a TP to the post office. I came home to check for RSVPs and found a red note that said "VACANT MAILBOX-POSTMASTER DO NOT LEAVE MAIL HERE" ummm WHAT?! I called the Post Office and the mailman said to leave a sticky note and the carrier will take care of it. I put a forwarding request in to start April 1 so my mail will go to FI's apartment(6 hrs away), which is fine b/c it's a week after we should receive all RSVPs and FI will actually be back from deployment and at his apartment a week later to check the mail. So now, just in case, FI's not putting his mail on hold while he's away and leaving the mail key out for our best man to go check just in case it ends up getting forwarded on accident. Seriously?!?! I really hope the note to the carrier solves the problem and I'm glad we have a back up plan but COME ON!!

Oh and for the record, FMIL is the one that drives me craziest about the wedding but she hasn't really called since Valentine's Day and has started emailing me which makes me very

adawn1981 · March 2013

Mine has been the guest list. We wanted a small wedding, 80 people or less but we invited 110! Even then we didn't get to invite some people that we would have liked to because the list was so long. It was family members telling us that they would love to come to the wedding! Fast forward, 3/4 of them are not even coming and we couldn't invite many coworkers because we thought (extended) family members were coming. UGH. At least we got our small wedding, just about 70 people will be there. It sucks when the ladies at work hint around that they would like their invite soon though, and they are not getting one

That and the money we are spending!

Our families have been great though

vk2204 · March 2013

My biggest pain throughout the planning has been FI! He has been so busy with work, which I am okay with, but when it comes down to making a freaking decision he keeps saying "I don't care, I don't know blah blah blah" and I want to kick him right in the shin. Especially lately, uh hello our wedding is in a few weeks don't you think it is time we finalize the details?!? Just thinking about it now makes me want to throw things.

[Deleted User] · March 2013

I went Bridezilla on FI after he decided he didn't want to have his godson and his brother be ring bearers after all. This was AFTER we'd already asked, AFTER I had purchased them tuxes, and AFTER I bought the pillows and fake rings (because he insisted they would lose them somehow). He came back around after I reminded him that their parents probably had been talking to them about it since day 1, and the older brother especially might be disappointed that he was no longer in the wedding. So, crisis averted.

Then everything was going great until one of FI's groomsmen decided to send a nastygram to FI's best man about the bachelor party. Best Man didn't take it well and sent a nasty gram back. The bachelor party is 18 days out, for Pete's sake! I told FI to tell the Best Man and GM to figure it out, and then stay out of it--but he claims that's "too confrontational". I don't think it is. Both these guys are adults, they should be able to play nice and not ruin his party. And here I thought we were going to have a drama-free wedding. Guess not.

faile556 · March 2013

The tackiness of my mom is surprisingly more than I anticipated.
The fact that I'm getting a 50% decline rate in invited parties.
I knew to expect it, but honestly didn't realize how much it's obvious. People who I am very close to couldn't care less about the wedding. It's a really big event ... and they just can't be bothered. It's... odd.

I'm more looking forward to the honeymoon than I am the wedding day.

One More! Vent time.

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