What do you think the biggest pressure is when it comes to planning your wedding?

kaesha · July 2010

For me, it was struggling with the knowledge that the guests had spent thousands to come and see us. I felt so much pressure to deliver a fun time that would show them Hawaii, and make sure they got their money's worth. I felt so guilty that we couldn't pay for lodging for everyone... or do a week's worth of hosted activities.

So how about you? Guest list? Dealing with ILs? Is it the logistics of planning from a distance?

m_eblin · July 2010

Oooh good question...we had a really small wedding (7 total) so it was fairly simple to plan. The hardest part for me was being comfortable with finding someone to do my hair and makeup and feel confident that I wouldn't look like a MAC girl the day of my wedding.

leejj3 · July 2010

I am also so concerned with providing an awesome hawaii experience for everyone. Even though I'm from Hawaii, I always feel like guests think I'm selfish to force them to pay thousands to make them come instead of just having in it Nashville. Because we're 23, a lot of our close friends are still really struggling economically.

FI's family was also part of the group of people that are a little grumbly about having to travel 12 hours and have a "it better be worth it" vibe going. Related to that is budget concerns of course. My mom is afraid I'm focusing on out of towners too much now instead of locals and spending money inappropriately. (Shuttle vs cab, welcome dinner vs potluck, Invites on people that just aren't gonna show up no matter what). blah.

AKWinterBride · July 2010

I guess my biggest pressure is that all these people are going to be flying from all over to Hawaii for our big day - I really don't want anyone to be disappointed!

I also feel like there is a lot of pressure to provide 'activities' for our guests to do. Well, all of our guests have been to Maui before - they know what there is to do. But, I still feel like we need to provide them with something.

So, I figure this is a vacation for them which they just happen to be attending a wedding at. Go and have fun, and then come to our wedding!

JCSept · July 2010

That is exactly my pressure. I feel like I have to ensure everyone has a great time as I do feel guilty that these people are spending so much to come to Hawaii.

jackcody · July 2010

Yup, the pressure of so many people spending so much money to come to our wedding.

For me, I feel this pressure is magnified since this is the first trip to the US for all of our Aussie guests, and for some, it's even their first time on a plane. I've been playing travel agent, and it's hard to balance what I think should be their vacation (their free-time and planning responsibility), and the voice saying I must plan everything for them.

It's much easier for our US guests, because they've all been to Maui many times, and obviously, are familiar with American customs. And, although it is expensive, it's not over $1000 per person for them to just fly there.

carrieoz_76 · July 2010

Same here - we want everyone to have a kickass time. Of course when I've expressed this concern to my friends, they tell me that if anyone doesn't have a good time at a wedding in Hawaii then they can't have a good time anywhere. I like my friends.

embracejoy · July 2010

I don't feel guilty at all for the expense our guests are going to to attend our wedding..

When we decided on a Maui wedding, we originally wanted to go alone and do a planned elopement. Our families really wanted to be there, so we opened up the "guest list" to whoever wanted to come along.. So far, about 20 people will be joining us. There was NO pressure for anyone to come up with a ton of money to come to our wedding. If they're spending the money, it's because they chose to

I guess the biggest pressure is just being able to plan and pay for all the activities we want to do while we're in Maui (luau, scuba diving excursions, etc.) and the wedding itself! So in the grand scheme of things, there's really not much pressure at all. Which is just how we wanted it!

HappyGoLuckyGal · July 2010

I'm with the majority. I put a ton of pressure on myself to make this the best trip ever for everyone. At our welcome party, I finally started to chill out because I could see that everyone was having a blast (with very little help from me.) After that, I relaxed. DH, on the other hand, got more stressed after our first party. He was worried about spending enough time with everyone.

daveandjess2010 · July 2010

I think I was worried about everything - but making sure the out of town guests had a good time was pretty high on the list. But like Kellie said, once I saw everyone at our welcome party (two days before the wedding) and heard what a great time they were having (without me playing travel agent every minute), it helped me to relax. I was also worried about being able to spend enough time with everyone, but that went pretty well too. We had impromptu drinks with a bunch of guests the night before the wedding - that combined with the welcome party meant we saw some people three nights in a row, which was awesome!

What do you think the biggest pressure is when it comes to planning your wedding?

Re: What do you think the biggest pressure is when it comes to planning your wedding?

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