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Fighting Families

grizzly04grizzly04 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Pre-wedding Parties
Long story short you can not put my fiance's parents in the same room. They divorced when he was nine-months old over is dad cheating on his mom. His dad is married to the woman he has the affair with and now it's just flat out drama city. I'm scared to have a shower or get-together before the wedding due to them fighting and starting another feud. We have already had a sit down about the wedding and told them what will happen if anything does happen at the wedding; and of course they were blaming the other person for things that have not even happened yet. My mom flat out does not like his mom or step-mom and she has good reasons too. Those two have put me in tears more this past year then I have every been in my whole life.

Anyway, I would like to host a luncheon at my home with the families so everyone gets to know one another. I'm not looking really at a shower because I have everything I need. Yes, there are things that I would like, but I don't need anything that I can think of. My sister's husband is stationed in Col. and they have a new baby so she can not afford to throw a get-together and my mom refuses to throw one because she thinks they are pointless. Any ideas or suggestions?
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Re: Fighting Families

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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Why does everyone need to get together to get to know each other? You already said they don't like each other, so what is the point of trying to force a get-together other than the wedding?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    grizzly04grizzly04 member
    First Comment First Anniversary

    Well most of my the family have not met each other yet. We are having many people stay at the venue site and they are also helping us set up. At the same time, I feel like I am going to regret not doing something before the wedding. My future-in laws can't even get my parents names straight and we have been together for over three years, at times i don't even know why I try.
    I guess that is what rehearsal dinner is for. At times I feel like I will regret some things if I do not do the 'traditional' events, but also too that's going against everything I was raised on. Being a military brat you learned how to go with the flow and take everything with stride.
    I'm just having a hard time right now with no one helping me and feeling like this whole wedding thing is becoming pointless. I'm also having horrible self esteem issues when it comes to purchasing a dress as well, so in a way I'm trying to create happy moments when they are just going to be a train wreck.

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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited January 2013
    Honestly? I would keep those people away from each other until the actual wedding day. Just sounds like too much opportunity for drama.

    If you still want to have a traditional pre-wedding party, you could host a bridesmaids luncheon. Since these parties are usually for the bride's nearest and dearest, you don't have to deal with the MOG and the father's wife.

    You could invite your mom and a friend to go shopping for your dress. Pick someone who is supportive and makes you feel good about yourself.
                       
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree with PPs. Don't try and make these people mingle beforehand if it's not necessary. It's like you're asking for drama.
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