Washington-Seattle

Non-Traditional vs. Traditional Brides

I read through this Knot article "20 Traditions You Can Skip"

I am skipping like almost all of these. So it made me wonder, are you skipping some of these? All of these? What traditions do you think are acceptable to change and what traditons do you think are absolutely necessary?
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Re: Non-Traditional vs. Traditional Brides

  • mgoss228mgoss228 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_non-traditional-vs-traditional-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:3a06a6a3-11e8-446d-b4a6-17fa3b94774bPost:3184bd0f-b8bb-4aab-992d-016538e0e08d">Non-Traditional vs. Traditional Brides</a>:
    [QUOTE]I read through this Knot article "20 Traditions You Can Skip" are you skipping some of these? All of these? What traditions do you think are acceptable to change and what traditons do you think are absolutely necessary?
    Posted by kinmir30[/QUOTE]

    <font color="#0000ff"><strong>Skipping:</strong></font>
    <u>You Can only have two wedding colors</u>:  I have THREE, and kinda FIVE.  My colors are Royal Blue, Champagne and Kelly Green.  My garter is Purple and Yellow, and I'm thinking of making my bouquet white, purple, and yellow just so it will match the garter.... FI and I are both HUGE Husky fans.
    <u>Traditional Ceremonies Can't Be Personalized</u>:  Ours is going to be personalized and have a VERY small amount of anything religious.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">You Shouldn't See Each Other Until the Ceremony</span>:  FI and I are doing a 1st Look for photos, and I want to see him before the ceremony anywho.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">You Should Make Your Exit in a Shower of Rice</span>:  Idk what we'll be exiting to, but isn't rice supposed to be bad for birds?
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Your Bridesmaids Should Wear Matching Dresses</span>:  My girls are each wearing a different style Mori Lee knee-length dress in Royal Blue chiffon.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Your Father Should Walk You Down the Aisle</span>:  I'm not speaking to my dad (and haven't for the last 4 months).  So there is no way he'll be walking me down.  I'll either walk myself (if he shows up to the wedding, at my mother's request) or my mom will walk me (if he doesn't show up).
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Wedding Ceremonies Take Place In Church</span>:  Our ceremony will be at our Reception Venue.  It might even be outdoor if the weather is right!
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">You Need One Flowergirl and One Ringbearer</span>:  We gots nada, no kids are invited to the wedding... so no Flowergirl or Ringbearer.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Your Accessories Should Be Understated:</span> I'm wearing bright blue shoes and have a bright blue crinoline.  And my veil has all kinds of beading, to match my dress.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">You Should Exchange Traditional Vows: </span>We aren't having a religious ceremony, so no "traditional vows" for us.  But we are just picking out vows from a HUGE sample packet from our officiant.

    <font color="#0000ff"><strong>Not Skipping, but acceptable to change:</strong></font>
    <u>Your Wedding Dress should be white</u> - Mine's ivory, but it's still under the white category imo.  I kinda like colored wedding dresses, but I wouldn't wear on to my own wedding.
    <u>You Have To Wear a Long Wedding Veil</u>- I'm wearing a 2-tier, elbow length veil.  I've wanted to since I was a little girl, but there are a lot of other awesome headpieces and hairstyles (that don't need head pieces) out there.
    <u><font color="#000000">You Can Only Walk Down to Wagner's Bridal Chorus</font></u>: I've wanted to walk down to Wagner since I was a little girl, so there was NO WAY I would walk down to anything else.  I think that more girls now-a-days are walking down to Cannon in D (or whatever it's called).
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Ceremony Programs Are Usually Formal</span>:  I think ours is going to be more formal and tell people what's going on during the ceremony.  But games like TK suggested look fun.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Bridesmaids are female and Groomsmen are male</span>:  We're sticking to this, but don't see a problem if someone wanted to switch it up if they had a really close guy friend.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Your Guests Must Be Seated On Two Sides</span>:  We're following tradition, but to each their own!
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">An Alter is An Alter</span>:  Our decor will be pretty traditional, but I think decorations can be a little more fun if you wanna.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Bridesmaids Should Carry Matching Bouquets: </span>Mine will carry white tulips.  But so not necessary to match.  We're DIYing the Bouquests, so ordering 1 type of flower/color in bulk is easier and cheaper.

    <font color="#0000ff"><strong>Not Skipping, and absolutely necessary:</strong></font>
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Cocktail Hour Takes Place After the Ceremony and Before the Reception</span>:  I don't see why you would want to skip or move the Cocktail Hour.  We are going to open up the bar for our guests right after the ceremony, and let them drink a drink or two before dinner.  I just don't see why people need to drink before the ceremony.
    <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Guests Sit in Chairs or in Pews</span>:  Please don't make your elderly guests sit on the floor or your allergic guests sit on hay that will make them sneeze.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would have to say I'm probably more traditional, but I'm skipping about half of them. For one, I'm skipping the BM wear all the same dress. I'm letting my BM pick their own style of dresses. I told them what color, material, and length. I wanted them to feel comfortable, and I think it will reflect their personal styles.

    I'm also picking non-traditional music for the ceremony. I'm entering the church with my dad to She by Elvis Costello (piano and violin)

    However, I guess I'm very traditional about our First Look. Neither FI or I want to see each other until I'm walking down the aisle.
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  • edited December 2011

    Skipping:
    You Can only have two wedding colors:  We have 3 - light blue, dark teal and white, but in reality will have a multiude since our wedding is water themed, so all shades of blue are acceptable.  And my FI favorite color is dark red so will throw in some accents of that when I can.
    Traditional Ceremonies Can't Be Personalized:  We meet with the minister in a week but it will be somewhat traditional but there will be personal touches included.
    You Shouldn't See Each Other Until the CeremonyFI doesn't care but I like the idea of him not seeing me "ready to go" until the actual ceremony.  But if we had more time at the venue we'd likely do some before pics.
    You Should Make Your Exit in a Shower of RiceChurch doesn't allow for rice or bird seed so will do bubbles including bubble guns for the youngsters and possibily a bubble machine.
    Your Bridesmaids Should Wear Matching DressesStyle will likely be similar, dresses will be MOH in one and BM (only having one) in another.  Going shopping with them next month!
    Your Father Should Walk You Down the AisleMy dad passed away in 1990 and I'm not close to my brother so I'll be walking myself down the aisle.
    Wedding Ceremonies Take Place In ChurchOriginally we were getting married at a state park but had to switch due to costs so found a beautiful church.  But for me it's up to what someone wants to do.
    You Need One Flowergirl and One RingbearerNot having either though trying to figure out how to include a few 15 yo nieces.
    Your Accessories Should Be Understated: Will likely have blue shoes and who knows what else to make the outfit comfortable to me.  Threatening a diamond and sapphire tiara....LOL
    You Should Exchange Traditional Vows: Will likely do somewhat traditional but haven't decided yet.

    Ceremony Programs Are Usually Formal
    Skipping programs as we don't feel we need them.

    You Can Only Walk Down to Wagner's Bridal Chorus: Open to other things, haven't decided yet.

    Cocktail Hour Takes Place After the Ceremony and Before the ReceptionHaving a dry wedding.

    Guests Sit in Chairs or in Pews
    Church has chairs and they can be moved around which is good at 2 family members are in wheelchairs and can't get out of them.


    Your Wedding Dress should be white - Mine's ivory with colored ribbon at the waist.  I don't look good in traditional white.

    Not Skipping, but acceptable to change:
    You Have To Wear a Long Wedding Veil- I will likely have a veil but haven't decided on length yet.
    Bridesmaids are female and Groomsmen are male:  We're sticking to this, but don't see a problem if someone wanted to switch it up if they had a really close guy friend.
    Your Guests Must Be Seated On Two Sides:  We're letting people sit wherever they want other than family. 
    Bridesmaids Should Carry Matching Bouquets: The MOH and BM will likely be similar but I want it to reflect them as well as our union so they will help select the flowers.

    Not Skipping, and absolutely necessary:
    An Altar is An Altar:  The church altar is already set with a beautiful stained glass cross in the huge picture windows

  • edited December 2011
    You Can only have two wedding colorsWe settled on The Ruins- the place is pretty colorful. Traditional Ceremonies Can't Be PersonalizedUm, not going traditional at all on this one.You Shouldn't See Each Other Until the CeremonyI like the idea, but haven’t decided yet.Guests Sit in Chairs or in PewsI can’t imagine making people sit on the floor.
    Ceremony Programs Are Usually FormalDon’t think we’ll have them – the ceremony will be short.
    Bridesmaids Should Carry Matching Bouquets: Don’t care, will talk it over with MOH
    Cocktail Hour Takes Place After the Ceremony and Before the Reception We’ll just move rooms so we’ll start the party right after.

    SKIPPINGYou Should Make Your Exit in a Shower of RiceNah!Your Wedding Dress should be white - Not even close! You Have To Wear a Long Wedding Veil – I can’t pull off a vail. You Can Only Walk Down to Wagner's Bridal Chorus – Nope!Bridesmaids are female and Groomsmen are maleTotally disagree! I’ll a bridesman and FI will have a groomswoman.Your Guests Must Be Seated On Two Sides – I don’t care. Actually in pictures asymmetrical seatting looks better.Wedding Ceremonies Take Place In Church:  Not for us.Your Bridesmaids Should Wear Matching Dresses – I hope not. My bridesman would look funny in a skirt. Although, he said he would do whatever makes me happy. J Your Father Should Walk You Down the Aisle:  No family will be present. You Need One Flowergirl and One RingbearerWe won’t have kids at the wedding, so no.Your Accessories Should Be Understated: Actually I think it’s the other way around. The dress will be simple, but it’ll be all about my glowing skin, hair and accessories.You Should Exchange Traditional Vows: Leaning towards not.  The obeying business is so out of date that we’d just start laughing.
  • zoiesmurfzoiesmurf member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'll post like mgoss:

    Skipping:
    You have to wear a long white wedding veil: I am wearing a two-tiered elbow length veil and tiara.
    You can only have two wedding colors: We have two main colors(deep copper/bronze and claret/burgundy/maroon) and two accents(cream and soft jade green).
    Traditional ceremonies can't be personalized: We are not doing any sort of unity ceremony, even though we are being married by a pastor. We are also skipping some of the traditional scripture that is normally quoted.
    You can only walk down the aisle to Wagner's "Bridal Chorus": I think I am walking down to "You and Me" by Lifehouse, words and all. :)
    Ceremony Programs are usually formal: We are planning on a short ceremony with no special readings so we are skipping them altogether.
    You shouldn't see eachother until the ceremony: We are getting married in December with an evening wedding, so we will do a "first look" so we can have outdoor pics while there is still light. :)
    You should make your exit in a shower of rice: Our venue doesn't allow things to be thrown, and frankly I never wanted stuff thrown at me anyways.
    Bridesmaids are female and groomsmen are male: FI is making his little sister his BM or GW/MOH/WOH whatever she's called.
    Your bridesmaids should wear matching dresses: I am giving them a color, length, and fabric and letting them pick their own.
    Your father should walk you down the aisle: Not so much skipping, as changing. My parents got divorced and remarried when I was young so I will have both my Father and Stepfather walk me down.
    Wedding ceremonies take place in church: We are being married at our reception venue (a barn). Saves on rental fees, travel fees and time, esp with oot guests.
    You need one flower girl and one ring bearer: We aren't having any.
    An altar is an altar: I don't think we are doing anything. If we do we might rent a rustic arch, but no floral decor.
    Your accessories should be understated: I'm wearing dark copper/bronze shoes to match my bms. Not sure about anything after that...


    Not Skipping, but acceptable to change:
    Wedding dress should be white: I  felll in love with an ivory dress before I even thought about it, but I threatened for years that I would wear a black dress. :)
    Your guests must be seated on two sides: Necessary for our venue, but if I wasn't getting married in a rectangular venue, I love the pic of the chairs in a circle.
    You should exchange traditional vows: I say you should ultimately do what works for you, but I have often found it kind of embarrasing/akward to listen to personal vows, as they can get a little too personal or be filled with inside jokes only the couple gets, so we're going traditional on this one.
    Bridesmaids should carry matching bouquets: I like a big mix of colors and texture so all of ours will be the same color schemes, but if you are doing a more mono-chromatic theme, I think it would be awesome to have them all be different.

    Not Skipping, and abosolutely necessary:
    Cocktail hour takes place after the ceremony and before the reception: I agree that drinks are going to be after the ceremony.
    Guests sit on chairs or in pews: I agree with mgoss chairs or pews are probably best.
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  • edited December 2011
    This was fun! :)

    For Us:
    Skipping:
    You have to wear a long white wedding veil: I don't think I'll be wearing a viel at all! I'm not really into it. If I do, it will be an elbow or fingertip length and it will sit on the back of my head and most definitely will not cover my face for a "reveal".....i hate that. no offense, just not for me.
    Traditional ceremonies can't be personalized: Our entire ceremony is personalized.....with some Irish traditions....and no religion what-so-ever. I am a little worried about this as I have many very religious family members....but it's just not us. And it's our wedding!
    Smile oh, and we are paying for the whole thing, which means no one else gets to make decisions but us.
    You can only walk down the aisle to Wagner's "Bridal Chorus": I am walking down to Over the Rainbow, the new Hawaiian-esque version. We may or may not have one of FI's groomsman sing it and hire a guitarist to play it.
    Ceremony Programs are usually formal: Totally informal programs. Going to do a paddle-fan program, prob with a word search or mad-lib on the back to keep guests entertained while they wait for the ceremony to begin.
    You shouldn't see eachother until the ceremony:We are doing a first look....though it took me a while to bend on this. It was a new concept for me. 
    You should make your exit in a shower of rice: Our ceremony is including an Irish Make-Up Bell ritual, and we are giving our guests small bells to ring as we leave the aisle, and to take home as favors as their own Irish Make-Up Bell.
    Your bridesmaids should wear matching dresses: I am thinking of doing infinity dresses for the girls, so they can wear them however they feel comfortable.
    Your father should walk you down the aisle: Not sure on this. My father is pretty ill and lives in Las Vegas, so he may not attend. If he does, he will def walk me down. If he doesn't, I will either walk with a close male relative, or walk alone, leaning more towards walk alone.
    Wedding ceremonies take place in church: No Churches here!
    You need one flower girl and one ring bearer: We are only having a Ring Girl! Way untraditional there!
    An altar is an altar: well....we aren't in a church #1. Aside from that, we will prob have a few arrangements, but our "altar" is already gorgeous.
    Your accessories should be understated: I want to wear bright, sparkly, stand-out purple shoes. And I will prob have a lot of bling going on in my necklace.
    You should exchange traditional vows: I personally don't like the traditional vows....but that's just me.

    Not Skipping, but acceptable to change:
    You can only have two wedding colors: We only have two, but it's definitely not a big deal to have more. I didn't even realize this was a tradition.
    Your guests must be seated on two sides: Necessary for our venue, but if I wasn't getting married in a rectangular venue, I love the pic of the chairs in a circle.
    Bridesmaids should carry matching bouquets: I am actually not sure about this.....but I think it would be cool to have diff bouquets actually.
    Bridesmaids are female and groomsmen are male: Originally I was going to have my younger brother be a bridesman and FI was going to have a good friend be a groomswoman, but we figured since my bro would want to be with the guys and his friend would want to be with the girls, we would compromise and have traditional female and male attendants.

    Not Skipping, and absolutely necessary:
    Cocktail hour takes place after the ceremony and before the reception: Not doing this....although I liked the idea of having at least water availble for the guests to have during the ceremony.....our wedding is outdoors in July at 4pm.....so maybe I'll arrange for a water table.
    Guests sit on chairs or in pews: Def chairs......although I saw a ceremony on Four Weddings that was BYOBlanket.....and I kinda liked. But if I were to do something like that, which I am not, but if I did, I would have reg seating for elderly, etc.
    Wedding dress should be white: Maybe not absolutely necessary.....but I honestly find it kind of weird when brides where a diff color dress. I actually might have a purple sash......but my dress is still white/ivory.
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  • edited December 2011
    Skipping:
    You Can only have two wedding colors:  We have four colors actually, black, white, grey, and raspberry.

    Traditional Ceremonies Can't Be Personalized:  Our close friend is our officient. Enough said :).

    You Shouldn't See Each Other Until the Ceremony:  We're also doing a first look for photos, so we can take a bunch of pictures downtown beforehand.

    You Should Make Your Exit in a Shower of Rice:  No need to exit to anything. We may have sparklers after the reception.

    Wedding Ceremonies Take Place In Church: Our ceremony and reception are at the same venue. 

    You Need One Flowergirl and One Ringbearer: No kids invited to, or in the wedding. 

    Your Accessories Should Be Understated: I'm not the kind of girl to wear understated accessories on a day-to-day basis, why should my wedding be any different?

    You Should Exchange Traditional Vows: Non-traditional ceremony, non-traditional vows. Especially not one where I pledge to obey someone.

    You Can Only Walk Down to Wagner's Bridal Chorus: May be something orchesteral, but certainly not wagner's bridal chorus.
     

    Your Guests Must Be Seated On Two Sides:  We don't have even numbers of family members coming. And why should our friends have to "pick a side?"

    An Alter is An Alter:  Candles in a "fireplace" like cutout in the wall, not exactly your traditional alter.

    Bridesmaids Should Carry Matching Bouquets: Instead of flowers (we're not having any), I'm doing black clutches for the girls.

    Ceremony Programs Are Usually Formal:  Not sure here, may not even have them.

    Not Skipping, but acceptable to change:
    Your Wedding Dress should be white - Haven't gotten my dress, but it will likely be white.

    You Have To Wear a Long Wedding Veil- Might wear a veil for the ceremony. Definitely a great hair-piece for the reception.

    Bridesmaids are female and Groomsmen are male:  We decided to stick to this, my brother is on his side, and his sister on mine.

    Your Bridesmaids Should Wear Matching Dresses:  We weren't going to do this, but then the bridesmaids all found a super cute dress that was really affordable that they all really liked (it's a grey cocktail dress with pockets)

    Your Father Should Walk You Down the Aisle:  Very close to my dad, one tradition I'm keeping.

    Cocktail Hour Takes Place After the Ceremony and Before the Reception: I have zero problems with changing times of drinking :)
     
    Guests Sit in Chairs or in Pews: I would totally do lounge furniture with an unlimited budget.
  • dreamwindsdreamwinds member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Skipping:
    You Can only have two wedding colors:  We have fourish. White, blue, yellow, and accents of brown. And we're not even sticking to just one blue. Whatever is easiest to fit in and works.
    Traditional Ceremonies Can't Be Personalized:  I think we'll try to personalize ours. We haven't spoke to our pastor yet. Again, whatever is easiest.
    You Shouldn't See Each Other Until the Ceremony:  We're doing a first look. We did a 'first look' last July too. Whatever. I think our wedding period is pretty untraditional. Etiquette girls would have a blast nitpicking at everything wrong with our day.
    You Should Make Your Exit in a Shower of Rice:  We won't really have an exit. I'm thinking of sparklers, but I don't know. It's not like we're really going anywhere.
    Your Bridesmaids Should Wear Matching Dresses:  They are not though, somehow, they ended up picking the same style of dress from different designers.
    Your Father Should Walk You Down the Aisle:  My dad will probably walk me down the aisle. I originally was going to have both my parents do this, but I don't think so.
    Wedding Ceremonies Take Place In Church:  Our ceremony will be outdoors by Lake Washington.
    You Need One Flowergirl and One Ringbearer:  We have two flowergirls and one ringboy. That said, we were going to have two flower girls, and one ringboy with a ring girl. Little kids in ceremonies are cute.
    Your Accessories Should Be Understated: My dress is understated... the lone accessories I am going to wear are earrings and they are going to be pretty distinct. Now if I can only find them.
    You Should Exchange Traditional Vows: If by traditional vows you mean obey, no.
    Your Guests Must Be Seated On Two Sides:  We're not following this. I don't really care.
    Cocktail Hour Takes Place After the Ceremony and Before the Reception:  We are seriously considering a small appetizer service right before the ceremony, like truffle popcorn and water while people get seated and wait. I'd probably even be okay with champagne or wine, though I don't know how big I am on the idea of beer and cocktails.
    You Can Only Walk Down to Wagner's Bridal Chorus: No. We're walking down the aisle to Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring. The bridal chorus is just way too formal for us.
    Ceremony Programs Are Usually Formal:  Our programs will just include names for people who are curious. We're likely not having a 'list of things that will happen' It should be relatively straightforward and quick.

    Not Skipping, but acceptable to change:
    Your Wedding Dress should be white - You know, whatever floats your boat. Wedding dresses weren't always white anyway. White used to  be the color of mourning and red used to be the color people got married in. My dress is white though.
    You Have To Wear a Long Wedding Veil- No one /has/ to do anything at a wedidng. :P But I am wearing a long wedding veil.
    Bridesmaids are female and Groomsmen are male:  We're doing this, but best friends cross-genders lately. If someone wants a Man of Honor and a Bestwoman, why should anyone really care?
    An Alter is An Alter:  You should be able to decorate however you want to.
    Bridesmaids Should Carry Matching Bouquets: They are, only because I'm too lazy to figure anything else out and don't want to pay more.
    Guests Sit in Chairs or in Pews:  I think chairs are important, but at one point, I wanted to do a fairly quick 10 minute ceremony where people stood around us. This was back when I was dreaming of a 10 person wedding.

    Not Skipping, and absolutely necessary:
    I guess I am not much for pomp and circumstance.

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  • Frogger5Frogger5 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our officiant had an interesting comment about which side of the aisle the bride and groom's family should sit on (I don't think it's necessary to do only two sides or have them separate according to sides at all, but our venue is very long and rectangular, so there is only room for one aisle) - he said usually the bride's family sit in the front row directly behind the bride, but what view does that give her parents for most of the ceremony? Her back. So, he usually switches the sides so that at least the parents can see their child's face during the ceremony. This makes total sense to me! We are in.
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