Interfaith Weddings

Anyone have a Jewish/Catholic interfaith ceremony?

We think we may have found an interfaith rabbi who will work with us, but I am struggling to find a Catholic priest who is willing to do an interfaith ceremony.

Has anyone been able to find an alternative to a Catholic priest that would still be satisfying to the side of the family it is important to?  What customs did you incorporate?

Many thanks!

Re: Anyone have a Jewish/Catholic interfaith ceremony?

  • edited December 2011
    Olive
    Are you getting married in Cincinnati?
    One of the priests we co-officiate with moved there this year.
    He can work with a rabbi.
    I'll connect you with him.
    Yehudit
  • edited December 2011
    Olive
    I noticed that you posted about finding a rabbi in Texas. If your wedding is in Texas get in touch with me and i think I can direct you in the right direction for Texas priest too.
    As long as the priest does not have to be Roman Catholic, just catholic.

  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You can find priests that are no longer in communion with the Church to perform ceremonies, however, please note that these ceremonies are not considered valid Catholic wedding ceremonies. If you want the marriage to be recognized by the Church and wish to continue to receive sacraments in the Church going forward (such as communion), it's best to have the marriage performed by a Catholic priest that still has his faculties.

    If you do not wish to keep Catholicism in your life, then it is best NOT to attempt the Catholic ceremony. It seems like you're trying to appease your family's wishes, but this ceremony should be about your beliefs and true to you and your future spouse!

    Best wishes!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for everyone's replies! I will be getting married in Austin, TX and am willing to pay for the right officiant to travel a little bit (ie within the state). I guess the decision right now somewhat rests with his family since they have to be ok with a non-church affiliated priest. I didn't even know there are sacraments to take and I know I would not feel comfortable with that. To me, it isn't that important that the marriage be recognized by a church or synagoguel just that the ceremony involves representations of both cultures and backgrounds. Maybe we should go the non-denominational route...
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I think you're right to do something non-denominational if neither of you subscribe to a certain religion. I really think your FI just needs to explain to his family that he understands their concerns and respects their beliefs, but your ceremony needs to be a reflection of your beliefs and not theirs and to incorporate beliefs that you do not agree with is actually a desacration of those beliefs. I applaud couples that stand up to their families, rather than giving in and basically having a ceremony that is a lie.

    I truly hope this works out for you guys and his family is understanding!
  • edited December 2011
    Lucky you getting such an open rabbi!  Perhaps you could get a RC cantor, or a priest from the "old" Catholic Church.  I saw it done once in Montreal. 

    We wrote our own vows using the Catholic service as the base, and modified to includeJewish traditions.  It is really amazing how similar the services are - but of course, since Jesus was Jewish!

    Our officiant was a Spiritualist minister.  He explained the significance of the different parts of our ceremony so that all the guests understood the meanings. I walked in with my mother and a family friend.  Our family members lit the candles at the beginning, we shared a glass of wine to represent our accord with God and with each other, and my husband shattered the glass.  We stood under a canopy of flowers instead of a chupa. We danced out to Ukrainian & Jewish folk music.      
  • edited December 2011

    My other half and I are discussing marriage and talking about how we will incorporate both religions/cultures into our wedding.   It is challenging because he wants to get married in a house of God whether it me a synagague (I'm Jewish) or church (he is Mexican and raised Catholic).  We want to incorporate both into the wedding, but I am not sure where we can do this (that isn't a hall or outdoor vendor) and who will marry us. 

  • edited December 2011
    Actually, that is exactly how I feel too in terms of just having the mixture of backgrounds represented but I still want a ceremony that is meaningful to us both.  I'm in the early planning stages and I haven't got officiant/s yet but thinking of involving a reform rabbi and not necessarily a Catholic (my family's background) priest but at least a Christian one because there are elements of Christianity which are part of my beliefs although not all certainly.  My case gets even more complex because I have very DIY spiritual beliefs including certain Pagan leanings.  In fact it would be tons easier for us to have a completely secular wedding but for we talked about it and neither of us wants to go completely secular.  A friend who is Cstholic also and a Phd theology student has offered to put this as a case study with our permission in her study group so it should be interesting what they come up with.  It's heading towards being pretty much a bespoke sort of ceremony.
  • edited December 2011
    As for venue, we are staying neutral, in fact outdoors in the woodlands of a castle in West Sussex, England.  I was in fact the one who insisted on outdoors if possible but we are using a chuppah and the ketubah for instance.  The Jewish don't seem to have a problem with outdoor ceremonies but Catholics do for some reason.
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    shedding some light....

    In the Catholic Church, a marriage is a sacrament that you receive and all sacraments are to be received within the context of a Mass, and Mass is to be celebrated in a consecrated building, in front of the altar. The focus is meant to be on God and the Sacrament being received, rather than the backdrop.

    Marriages are also seen not just as a social event for your friends and family, but as a Church event for the parish. Any member of the parish may come to witness the ceremony. So, if you do not have your ceremony in the church, your fellow parishoners would not be able to attend.

    The Church will allow (with proper dispensation) a Catholic to be married in another Christian church building, usually if their is a family member that is a Christian officiant that the couple wants to perform the ceremony.
  • edited December 2011
    Seems we have a lot in common!  I am Catholic and my fiance is Jewish.  We decided together that we would incorporate both of our faiths into our ceremony.  We went the route of getting an officiant to do a non denominational ceremony for us.  Essentially, he gave us some suggestions and we were able to tweak the ceremony and the wording to our specifications.  We have both Jewish and Catholic readings and prayers incorporated in.  Just remember, decide what is important to you and your fiance and go with that.  It is impossible to accomodate everyone....it's your wedding so accomodate yourselves! If you want any specific suggestions on prayers/readings etc, feel free to contact me!
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interfaith-weddings_anyone-jewishcatholic-interfaith-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:396Discussion:9d678538-f540-4186-9eab-2c7367ef8639Post:8f8eef95-c46a-4739-a358-52b4cab4e6c7">Anyone have a Jewish/Catholic interfaith ceremony?</a>:
    [QUOTE]We think we may have found an interfaith rabbi who will work with us, but I am struggling to find a Catholic priest who is willing to do an interfaith ceremony. Has anyone been able to find an alternative to a Catholic priest that would still be satisfying to the side of the family it is important to?  What customs did you incorporate? Many thanks!
    Posted by olive333[/QUOTE]

    i live in michigan, but the rabbi we work are working with also works with a catholic deacon. She works out of the Birmingham Temple. You may want to email her or call her. I'm sure she would be willing to give you his info.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm in Chicago and looking for Catholic representation.  We have a Rabbi willing to do interfaith.  Anyone know of any priests that are willing to help with dispensations/getting the marriage recognized?  We're not having the ceremony in a church.  I'm okay with having it blessed later if that's an option. 
  • edited December 2011
    Olive, if you're still looking for ideas, try both http://www.interfaithfamily.com/wedding and http://www.interfaithfamily.com/findarabbi.
    InterfaithFamily.com is the premiere web based resource for couples exploring Jewish life and making Jewish choices, and the leading web based advocate for attitudes, policies and practices that welcome and embrace them.
  • Hello !! I really need help finding a priest for our wedding ceremony in Dallas,TX.
    I will appreciate if you can provide information.
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2012
    You have the most difficult part done.  For some reason, the hardest thing to find is a rabi to participate in a "mixed marriage"  I think there may be half a dozen on East Coast and they Charge!   Catholic priests are far more willing to take on a mixed marriage,their counseling., etc.
    The only thing you need to do now is to get then rabbi & the Cathlic priest in the same buildng. Catholic & Jewish is fine.  Jewish and Cathoi is fine. non denomonitial chapels at collleges and military bases ar probably the best. NO outside weddings!

    GL
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_interfaith-weddings_anyone-jewishcatholic-interfaith-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:396Discussion:9d678538-f540-4186-9eab-2c7367ef8639Post:82e4087f-552c-4b75-b004-dd353653f62d">Re: Anyone have a Jewish/Catholic interfaith ceremony?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Olive Are you getting married in Cincinnati? One of the priests we co-officiate with moved there this year. He can work with a rabbi. email me: [email protected] check out our website: <a href="http://www.jewishinterfaithweddings.net" rel="nofollow">http://www.jewishinterfaithweddings.net</a> I'll connect you with him. Yehudit
    Posted by yehudit18[/QUOTE]

    I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN FINDING OUT ABOUT THE PRIEST YOU MENTION HERE, ALTHOUGH OUR WEDDING WILL BE IN CLEVELAND.  THANKS SO MUCH.
  • Not that my fiance and I live in Cleveland or OH for that matter, but we decided to use a chaplain from the local college. Hopefully he will be able to provide the best of both worlds since we both understood that finding a priest and a rabbi to share the same stage would be a rather difficult task.
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