It's official

ksmakal · July 2012

The only family from my side is my mom and my cousin (who is taking the pictures). I keep telling myself this doesn't matter. It still hurts. Anyone else dealing with an unsupportive family?

Marrin713 · July 2012

What is their issue(s)?

ksmakal · July 2012

My aunts and uncles are all older and would be traveling from out of state. My brother, when I told him he didn't say congrats, just that he had heard from mom already. In his response card he said that he's preparing his unit to go to Afghanistan in Dec and needs to attend to that (he's an officer in the army). But on my SIL's facebook page I see they just booked a cruise yesterday for the week after... soo....

[Deleted User] · July 2012

It might just be to much for them your ex- passing and now a baby and marriage after 5 months thats a lot for anyone to take In and I was in the navy for 12 yrs and I did a yr in Afghanistan and a yr in Iraq so what if he booked a cruise its only fair and I don't mean that in a bad way I just know what he has to look forward to so just relax and everything will work itself out in due time

Leo379 · July 2012

Yes, my 2nd and FI's 4th. My sister is coming to the wedding but not because she is happy for us or cares or anything and her husband isn't coming at all. Lots of things have been said, lots of hard feelings between me and her. She has no part I. The wedding which I am sure makes her mad but why would I have someone who isn't happy for us be in the wedding? I so understand how you feel.

Lisa50 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_its-official?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:f9b8182a-3ecb-4357-a624-b78dc50f1be5Post:0bbd9554-30e3-4853-b84f-75bfc759643a">It's official</a>:
[QUOTE]The only family from my side is my mom and my cousin (who is taking the pictures). I keep telling myself this doesn't matter. It still hurts. Anyone else dealing with an unsupportive family?
Posted by ksmakal[/QUOTE]

I did not have to deal with unsupportive family. I am very sorry you have to deal with it. I do think it matters -- because it matters to you and because you are hurt. My approach would be to focus on the family and friends who will be there. Enjoy the fact that they are taking the time to share this moment with you. Enjoy it!

One more thing ... stay off Facebook. No good can come from Facebook at this point. ;) Just sayin' ...

RichNicci4211122 · July 2012

Fi and I are have dealt with a similar situation, it's not that his family is not supportive of our marriage, just his mother, father, one of his younger sisters and his oldest daughter won't be at the wedding. We are dealing with religious issues and are sad that these people whom he loves won't be there to celebrate our marriage, but it's something that we have just had to accept. But on a brighter note, FI's youngest sister and her family along with many of our friends and some extended family will be there with us on our special day. At this point I can't sweat the small stuff and his mother did come to my shower and his parents bought us a lovely wedding gift. So just relax and take it as it comes. I know that with everything that has taken place in the last year or so in your life it just may be a little too much for your family to process right now. When I 1st told my mom and dad that we were planning on getting married their 1st response was not congratulations it was how much is this going to cost me. But in the year and a half that I have been planning my mom has been there to pick flowers and cakes and even went to my 1st fitting. Give them time and they may just surprise you.

ksmakal · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_its-official?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:f9b8182a-3ecb-4357-a624-b78dc50f1be5Post:e9f6200e-63f6-4c0a-8c41-ac2310062b2a">Re: It's official</a>:
[QUOTE]It might just be to much for them your ex- passing and now a baby and marriage after 5 months thats a lot for anyone to take In and I was in the navy for 12 yrs and I did a yr in Afghanistan and a yr in Iraq so what if he booked a cruise its only fair and I don't mean that in a bad way I just know what he has to look forward to so just relax and everything will work itself out in due time
Posted by essienakya33[/QUOTE]

I think you have me confused with someone else. My ex, very much alive, and the baby came after the engagement (they don't even know about it yet). He's not been to Afghanistan yet, he's an officer, he's sending his troops there next May, he's not going until a year from now (although, yes I get that it can all change).

ksmakal · July 2012

"a bride has to understand that everyone she wants there can't always make it"

Are you speaking generally or specifically to me? I didn't say I didn't understand, I do, however I still am hurt over it. Espeically when my brother told my mother that he didn't have the leave time, but then does for a cruise. It's the lies that hurt. As far as expenses, he jumps MAC flights, they're free.

My OP was simply stating my disappointment that my family is not being supportive of me remarrying. I completely understand no one being able to come to the wedding. Really I do. However supportive people can do supportive things for little to no money and that is ultimately my situaiton. He could send a card, make a phone call, something (and no I'm not suggesting a gift).

"Focus on your fiance. HE is the one who is most important, and if he shows up - you've got it made."

If he shows up? Kinda rude don't you think?

mmmendi · August 2012

I don't think the intention was to be rude! I think - and yes, this is IMO - that her encouragement was in urging the focus on the two featured people at your wedding. I feel I am so blessed to have such resounding support from my family right now. I wish everyone could experience that part in the way that I am. We all have our own paths, roads and futures - we are all brides that know it won't be completely perfect as planned (um..if you tried to plan that way and my aren't I trying!). I hope that as everyone approaches such a special day, they can focus on the parts that won't weigh them down, and celebrate the next leg of the journey.

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