The bride is ready, but fiance is hesitant..

sld2507 · February 2010

Hello, Knotties! My name is Sheila. I am engaged to a woman who is two years younger than I am. I proposed October 24th and, apparently, she said yes

. Before we got engaged, we discussed how long an engagement should last and both agreed that it shouldn't exceed a year and a half. Now, it's been over three months and she still hasn't even made the first decision. I am so excited to be marrying her and, although she said she does want to marry me, she doesn't seem as enthusiastic. I've already been looking at dresses, wedding venues and many more details, but am still waiting on her to start on her end. I don't want to be a bother about it, but how else are we supposed to get this wedding rolling? I can't do it alone! what am I supposed to do? I want her to be a pert of everything, and most of all I want her to WANT to be a part of it.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

I'd sit down and have a very serious talk with her about what she wants to do, and if she's really ready for this.

Sorry.

emilyinchile · February 2010

What are you supposed to do? Talk to her. If you're ready to spend the rest of your lives together, you should be able to sit down and have a grown up conversation about when you would like to get married, what kind of wedding you'll have and what tasks you'll each take care of. It's fine if you're more into planning and do more of the organizational stuff as long as you're on the same page.

FWIW, budget and guest list should come waaaay before dresses.

mwhitson14 · February 2010

It's time to have a come to Jesus talk about what's really going on with her.

Kalliana · February 2010

Not everyone enjoys planning a wedding and being a part of the process. Ask her the very crucial things you need to know (setting the date, her guest list and contacts and budget) and go one ahead with everything. I understand that you are very excited and you want to share your excitment with you DF but apparently she is not into weddings. If you feel overwhelmed with the ammount of work you need to do hire a professional, or opt for a simple ceremony and wedding dinner.

sld2507 · February 2010

Thank you so much for your support and suggestions everyone. I have tried sitting and talking with her, but she dismisses it and changes the subject, claiming she is too tired to talk wedding details and stuff, always making excuses. It's really disheartening to think that she said yes when she isn't ready, although she knew exactly what I intended on happening after putting that ring on her finger. I would've been much less anxious if she had said yes, she wants to marry me, but wanted to wait a while for whatever reason. And, just so you all know, I have already gotten my guest list together and have a budget in mind, but can't organize an official one until the date is set, because that's what my parents want so they can budget their money in order to help us have a beautiful wedding. I'm not completely green lol. I am a wedding photographer, I know what details have to be put together as the foundation before I start building.

emilyinchile · February 2010

I don't think setting a date is a detail, and if it's something that's bugging you then your FI should want to talk about it. I would just try talking again and really letting her know that you're concerned. Or if she says she's tired, ask when you guys can schedule a time to talk. This is important.

mwhitson14 · February 2010

I agree with emily, you've got to get her to open up to you about this. If she says she's tired, then say, "Ok hon I totally understand. When would be better for you?" and if she still blows you off, you need to make it very clear that you feel like she doesn't want to get married.

krmabojo · February 2010

Ugh, TALK to her. Nothing to do but talk. A year and a half in quite a long time to start planning anyway... maybe she is overwhelmed.

Vintagelove4 · February 2013

Just have an honest talk with her about it.

The bride is ready, but fiance is hesitant..

Re: The bride is ready, but fiance is hesitant..

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