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New York-Hudson Valley

"Recycling" a venue

Hi ladies,

So I'll be honest....this isn't my first time on the knot.

I was here three or four years ago when I was engaged to someone else. That relationship was nothing less than toxic, so I ended it before I became a divorce statistic. We didn't get far into our planning, but we did book a venue before we broke up- Round Hill.

So here's my quandary. I can't find any other damn place that I love as much as I love Round Hill. Its got the charm, the unique venue, the food, etc. And I keep thinking about how beautiful it would be to have the wedding there...

My mom and sister have both suggested it, but I've aways brushed the suggestion off as taboo, since I had it booked with someone else. So my dearest ladies, opinions please. Am I being silly for NOT booking the place I like, or silly for even thinking about "recycling" my venue from my last engagement?

Discuss. ;)

Re: "Recycling" a venue

  • edited December 2011
    if you really love the venue and feel its your dream to get married there, do it!  :) You broke the other engagement off for a reason and didn't make it to the altar, I wouldn't say the venue is taboo :)  So if its what you love DO IT! :)
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  • edited December 2011
    you didnt get married there before you just booked it,i say if you really love it go for it.
  • ssagessage member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i agree with both ladies....if you love it, book it.  Yes you booked it last time but you didn't get married there!
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  • edited December 2011
    All these ladies have made a very strong point, you liked it and didn't get married there, so it should be ok.

    I, personally, think you should talk with your (current) fiance.

    Does he know the "back story"

    The day is about the two of you.

    The venue is a big deal. It's not the color, it's not the flavor of the cake or type of flowers in your bouquet. (Those are big deals too, but not as big as the venue)

    Ask him what his impression is. Is he ok with it?

    (Also, did you send save the dates that listed the venue the last time? Like is it just your mom and sister that know it was the place from your past? Or does half your guest list know? That might make a difference.)

    But talk to your fiance first and get his opinion.

    Sorry I couldn't be more help!

    Good luck with wherever you decide!

    Keep us posted!
  • edited December 2011

    My FI does know the back story and is ok with it. Without talking to you he pretty much said what you said- that its about he and I, not what happened in the past.

    I didn't send STDs or anything, but some family and friends do know that it was the place we had booked prior. Like I said initially, it was suggested by more than one person that I look there again because I did like it so much.

    His mom is completely against the place, but not because of my situation. She went to a wedding there three years ago and said that the food and the service was terrible. I really find that so hard to believe- I've been there for tastings and have LOVED the snacky foods. As for service, I really can't complain. I got my full deposit back a few years ago and they were completely understanding and professional.

    At this point, the only issue for my FI is cost. We currently have a guest list of 140 and a food/drink budget of 10K. I only have the pricing from 2008, but even then those numbers don't fit into what we have budgeted. So we need to either cut the list to about 110-which is do-able- or I have to look somewhere else thats a little cheaper. Unfortunately, places that aren't wedding halls don't generally run that cheap. Its all about the compromises though, right?

  • edited December 2011
    Go for it!
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  • edited December 2011

    Hi! I didn't realize you had spoken with your fiance.

    So I didn't know your fiance was ok with it.

    If he is, then as pp said, go for it!

    And good luck with your guest list!

  • foreverbossyforeverbossy member
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Go for it.  I am also planning on using a lot of my vendors that I used from my first wedding.
  • KWats2011KWats2011 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    As long as your fiance is ok, go for it!
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  • edited December 2011
    If he is ok with it I would say book it, if you can afford it though. My wedding is there in a month so I know what you mean, there is nothing else you like as much! My sisters wedding was there in 2006 and I never liked anything in the way I love RH.

    Maybe book an off-month to save on money? Thats why we are getting married first weekend in Nov vs Oct - it was less expensive and made it affordable for us.
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  • probablykateprobablykate member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like most of the important people (you,  your FI, your mom, your sister) would be happy there (provided you can make it work with your budget).  Are you very concerned about your future MIL not liking it?  Perhaps you could do something to make her feel better about it (ask for a small tasting, or discuss her concerns with the manager, etc)?

    I don't know much about dealing with the future MIL issues... my FI's mother passed away before I met him, but it seems like that could be a concern (or not).

    But I agree with pp that you shouldn't let the fact that you booked it (but didn't use it) before stop you from booking it now for the RIGHT wedding.
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  • carolsdaycarolsday member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp , however , does it remind you of your past relationship .  in other words if you have it there will you be thinking of what could have been with your previous fi and things like that.

    If that is not an issue that you and only you can know , then go for it,  but if there is anywhere in the back of your mind that you will think about the past relationship (even though your happy its over) it won't be fair to your current fi and that is not the way you want to start your life together.

    even though her says hes ok with it , if the shoe were on the other foot would it bother you ??   I just would hate for something to come out about it later , that he really was bothered by it .

    GL
  • edited December 2011
    Lol...its a non issue as of noon today....we booked somewhere else.
  • edited December 2011
    Congrats! Where did you decide to book?
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