Need Guidance - Destination Wedding and FI is not Catholic

Re: Need Guidance - Destination Wedding and FI is not Catholic

• bibliophile2010 member

  

  July 2012

  Welcome and congratulations on your engagement!
  
  How difficult it is to find a church that will marry non-parishoners varies greatly regionally and by parish. Many, if not most, charge a higher fee to non-parishoners than to parishoners. Unfortunately, the only real way to find out is by doing some legwork/sending some emails/making some phone calls. Be sure to include your intention of having a family friend perform the wedding, and (if accurate) your membership at your home parish. Many places are more likley to work with someone who is demonstrably serious about their faith or who show themselves easy to work with.
  
  You're probably going to have to work with at least two parishes, if not three, in getting everything coordinated, and make sure that your marriage prep is appropriate. These are your home parish in PA, the parish where you get married and the parish where your friend works. You will most likley need to make sure you do adequate marriage prep to satisfy all of them, and to work with them to coordinate all the paperwork. The dispensation (permission to marry a non-Catholic) is something that your parish should be familiar with and should be able to help you sort out. There will also be some paperwork involved for the parishes in allowing the family friend to perform the ceremony (basically making sure he is legitimate and in good standing).
  
  You might find that asking about parishes on the local Florida boards will help you find a place that would be willing to work with you. I would also contact your local parish and start talking to them about prep requirements.
  
  Again -- congrats and we look forward to chatting with you!

  

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• sarahdactyI member

  

  July 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_need-guidance-destination-wedding-and-fi-is-not-catholic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:50caf737-4ae5-44e0-aed6-bc409aa81ce2Post:d1c17e15-ed3d-48ad-8ba7-4c3038b6aee0">Need Guidance - Destination Wedding and FI is not Catholic</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hi all,  I'm new to this board (engaged on July 4th!) and have a couple questions.  I'm Catholic and my FI is baptized Lutheran. A good family friend is a Catholic priest and he will marry us. We live in PA and are thinking of getting married in FL. From what I read, it sounds like I need permission from the bishop to marry a non-Catholic in the Catholic church. My question is, which bishop, PA or FL? Also, it seems that churches that are willing to marry non-members are hard to come by... is that true in your opinions? Thanks in advance!
  Posted by ChristineEleven[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>Congrats on your engagement!! :) My mom is Catholic and dad is Lutheran, so it definitely is possible as long as you go about it the right way, which it sounds like you're on the right track for.</div><div>
  </div><div>I'm early in the preparation process but also planning from out of state (TX wedding planned from NC and NY). If you have a church you're already attending, going to them first will probably give you a better idea of what you need to do (even if you don't want to be married there). </div><div>
  </div><div>We're getting married at my parents' church in Texas, and they basically told me to get in touch with whatever parish we end up attending in NY (we didn't have a parish here when we got engaged, and although we found one, we really don't have time to start marriage prep this summer) and do "whatever they tell us to do," and then somehow all of the paperwork will be signed by the bishops and transferred down and everything will be swell.  (Technical terms.)</div><div>
  </div><div>I have heard that it's common when you're dealing with multiple parishes, to have to comply with whichever parish is the "most strict." The best advice I got was to be patient (since my wedding is quite far away) and to let the church and priest shepherd us through the preparation process. </div><div>
  </div><div>So. That's a super long way of saying, just ask whomever you feel most comfortable asking first... they'll be able to direct you :) </div><div>
  </div><div>As for marrying non-parishoners, I agree that it varies. Honestly my experience with Houston churches was that the more popular churches are more strict. I think that technically, the marriage is supposed to take place in the couple's home parish... but again, I'm sure other posters know more of the actual rules on this. </div><div>
  </div><div>Congrats again!</div>

  
  

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• BTCarolus

  

  July 2012

  The best advice we can give you is: talk to your priest. We're being married in Los Angeles, but are under the archdiocese of Chicago. Our priest in Chicago is doing all of the "paperwork," including getting necessary dispensations, and then forwarding all of this to the priest in LA. We worked all of this out about a year ago. I imagine that if you are regular parishoners in Pennsylvania, you will be able to work something out in Florida.

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• ChristineEleven

  

  July 2012 edited July 2012

  Thanks all! This has been incredibly helpful. I have an appointment at my church this week to talk over some details and have reached out to a few churches in FL to get information. 

  
  

  I called my parents in a bit of a panic (ironically they are volunteering at our family church today) and they helped me remember that we have friends who have done this before... so I'm just going to psych myself up for doing all the legwork knowing it will all be worth it in the end!

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