Recent Widower remarriages?

Re: Recent Widower remarriages?

• debbiem56

  

  December 2011

  I married my husband last month who was a 2 time widower.  The first was after 20 years of marriage.  He remarried a couple years later.  That unhappy marriage lasted 6 years before she died.  We met 6 weeks after she died, started dating a month later, engaged at 1 1/2 years, and married a total of 2 years after her death.  His children by his first wife are happy for us and participated in the wedding.  His step-children from his second marriage are no longer speaking to him.
  
  I am more concerned about his feelings from his first marriage.  He had a lot of good memories, but he has reassured me that it is in the past and he loves me.  We had just one fight about his deceased wife.  One day after making love he made a comment about their sex life before I had even gotten out of bed and got dressed.  It really hurt me; I told him so and it never happened again.  When he moved his things into my house after the wedding, he brought several things with him from his first marriage, but he has them stored, not displayed which is fine with me.

  

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• Avion22 member

  

  December 2011

  I'm a widow as well.  My husband passed when I was 27, and my fiance and Istarted dating about two years later.  By the time we're married it will have been about 4.5 years since he died.

  
  

  Honestly, everyone handles grief differently.  Personally, I don't think I was anywhere NEAR ready to date/remarry that fast, but that doesn't mean that your fiance isn't.  There is no one right or wrong way to grieve, or timeline for remarrying.

  
  

  As long as you are accepting of his widdower-hood (which is sounds like you are), and he is in a good place to be remarried, then I don't see a problem with it.    I might recommend that you do some form of pre-marital counseling that includes the topic of dealing with widowhood.

  

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