Wedding or Downpayment

sage350 · April 2010

Just don't know what to do. My parents have offered us a wedding or cash for a down payment on a house. We just got engaged and now have to decide which we want. Is it better to have a wedding or be financially stable?

ReturnOfKuus · April 2010

You could do both - take the money for a downpayment, and then wait and save for a wedding.

Cant_wait! · April 2010

I voted for house! A wedding is a party that lasts for a day and you have no return on your investment but memories...

Paulo's Menina Bela · April 2010

I'm friends with a couple whose parents made the same offer. Actually it was the brides father. Anyhow, they accepted the offer for a down payment and had a much smaller wedding. They wouldn't have done it any differently. At the time housing prices were pretty high and banks weren't handing out loans like candy yet.

baconsmom · April 2010

House, definitely. And if you can save your own 25K towards it, you'll have that much smaller of a mortgage.

A wedding can be had for the cost of the license, and maybe taking your parents out to dinner afterward. It's fun to have a party, but it's much more satisfying to know that you'll be secure in your future wealth by starting on a sold footing with your home.

sage350 · April 2010

Is it then appropriate to send "Announcements" out to family and friends of our nuputals if we take the house offer? I'd like for people to think this wasn't some sort of shotgun wedding or something.

PMeg819 · April 2010

If you decide to take the down payment, and then JOP it or have something small, I wouldn't consider it tacky to send out announcements. I've known people who have eloped who end up have a very informal party a few weeks later just to celebrate. Their is a fine line though...you don't want to look gift grabby.

baconsmom · April 2010

Since an announcement is not generally thought to have a gift expectation attached to it, it's perfectly acceptable to send announcements, especially if you'll have a small wedding. Anyone who assumes you're being grabby doesn't understand the purpose of the announcement - which is simply to announce the marriage.

sage350 · April 2010

Yeah, I don't care about the gifts at all. We're both extremely stable and have two homes full of stuff that we'll be combining. The last thing we need are gifts! I would hope that a simple announcement wouldn't imply that we were in hopes of gifts.

Heffalump · April 2010

FIL made SIL this offer. She opted for the blowout wedding. <2 yrs later, she's getting divorced and wishes she'd taken the down payment.

Not saying you should worry about divorce, but at least with the down payment, you'll have an actual, concrete asset.

*Barbie* · April 2010

ILs paid for a big, fancy wedding, but if they had made the offer, we would have used the cash for a downpayment, and had a smaller wedding.

swim1011 · April 2010

Downpayment, hands down. I would much, much rather ahve the investment in a home, rather than blowing it all on one day.

TheDuckis · April 2010

I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't get married until you can afford a wedding AND a house. Keep saving.

ETA: I just noticed you're in DC. A 25K down payment isn't going to get you much of a house. Definitely keep saving.

awesome-sauce · April 2010

Is it better to have a wedding or be financially stable?

After reading that question, I have to say i'm shocked you got such nice responses.

I voted for house downpayment. Of course, you have to remember that some parents/people can hold that over your head in the future. (Even if they say they won't.) Think about it. Whichever you decide.

sage350 · April 2010

I'm moving to KS...25K plus my own 25K that I already have saved would be a nice downpayment. But thanks for responding!

sage350 · April 2010

I think I've made my decision. Thanks ladies for all of the advice! Maybe we'll do something fun and get married in Vegas or do an island honeymoon along with a reception or party instead of the whole blow out wedding.

Jenni83 · April 2010

i say go for the down payment on the house,and plan a mini wedding,you can have a small wedding thats just as nice as some ppl's huge events.
i planned a huge wedding and my parents offered to pay for the entire event anything i wanted,and then my dad said to my brother i wish she would have taken the money or atleast half of it as a down payment for a house and we could have given her a downsized wedding that would have been just as nice,but it would have been nice if my dad said to me "do you want a ck for a deposit and a mini wedding or a huge wedding"had he asked i would have went for the downpayment bc like pp said a wedding is a one night party & your house you can have forever,but we did a homebuyer program with our local bank and we got a tax credit so we bought a house the day we were leaving for our honeymoon.

Wedding or Downpayment

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