Stag and Does Jack and Jills who host?

Re: Stag and Does Jack and Jills who host?

• heinz11msw

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm so confused. wtf is a stag and doe??

  

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• McKenna2012 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  It's a fundraiser for a wedding, Heinz.

  

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• deepcovejackie

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  No.  Just no.

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• mcskatcat member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  OP, depending on where you're from (as you can tell from the responses) a lot of folks think Jack and Jills / Stag and Does are in poor taste.  Most people view these as a fundraiser for your wedding.  I know we've heard that in certain parts of Canada they're more common, but unless it's something that every last person does in your circle, I would skip it.
  
  Just think of it this way:  if this post were a random sample of your guests, how many people will side-eye the hell out of you for having one? 
  
  Even, God forbid, if you decide to have one, you should not be involved in the planning/throwing of a party in your honor. 

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• ootmother2 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  A Jack & Jill shower here is just an ordinary shower but coed. 
  
  I though the Stag & Doe was more a Canadian custom.  I've never seen them here.

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_stag-jack-jills-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:db1fbc06-b4c8-44d9-9d74-25672963c7b6Post:ce0ea457-9d8e-4e37-bf11-f523afc4be97">Stag and Does Jack and Jills who host?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Who is supposed to host and plan the Stag and Doe? <strong>When my friend got married a few years ago the groom's parents and bride and groom planned the stag and doe.   We felt that it was a bit distastful.  Especially when the bride and groom took turns "winning" the large prizes and 50/50 draw. Ironically both draws were looked after by the grooms mother.  When the groom won the texas mickey draw he ran around with it over his head screaming with excitement and when his grooms men encouraged him to crack it open he went and put it in his car.  The bride later told us that they returned the prizes they "won" to get more money. </strong>When my cousin got married although they seemed involved it appeared as though their bridal party had looked after it. As well as the brides parents I think. My other cousin got married last year and she is a bit of a control freak so she planned the whole thing.  Then she dictated to her bridal party what their jobs were for the evening. I am just trying to update our budget and make sure we are on track.  I didn't account for a stag and doe in our finances.  Is it typical that bride and groom finance the stag and doe?
  Posted by kheta13[/QUOTE]
  
  IMO, selling tickets to a fundraiser for the bride and groom is very distasteful. Whatever happens after the guests arrive at the party just compounds things.To answer your question, the bride and groom should not host any type of party in their own honor.
  
  By the way, the bride and groom probably won most of the prizes at their Stag and Doe because most of the guests put their names on the raffle tickets. The groom's family members may have even encouraged this.If the prizes were from the couple's registry, the winners were probably expected to turn them over to the bride and groom, anyway. These parties are just a way to con the beloved family members and friends out of some cash.

                     

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• rknox88

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I have a big problem with Stag and Doe events. I mean, it is one thing to have a fundraiser for, let's say, curing childhood diabetes; however, to put raising money for a couple, who, if they are getting married should be financially fit and stable already, seems super distasteful. I actually find it offensive to throw a 'fundraiser' for two people who should just buck up and pay for things themselves or downsize.

  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  Retread, I'll have to look for that on the Etiquette Board. I'll bet the commentary was very interesting.
  
  
  
  

                     

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• RebeccaB88 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_stag-jack-jills-host?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:db1fbc06-b4c8-44d9-9d74-25672963c7b6Post:13a42c76-5972-497f-9b40-c4fddae00c02">Re: Stag and Does Jack and Jills who host?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Anything that extorts money from the couple's friends is tacky. Doesn't matter who hosts it.
  Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
  
  Pretend I said this.

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