Wedding Meltdown

Allycat11 · October 2011

So I have been much better at being cool, calm and collected lately...but I am about to lose it. Right now, I mosty just need to vent.

Some of you may remember hearing about this part a couple months ago. We booked a very expensive photographer last spring because we love his work and our personalities clicked. 2 or 3 months ago, he told us his wife is having a baby and her due date is 2 days before our wedding. There is no way they didn't know this when we booked them, so we panicked and covered plan B with our photographer. His assistant would be there with another photographer. We loved the other woman's work and thought she was also a great fit. We have been pretty much expecting her to be the one to shoot our wedding.

Fastforward to today. I am at work, and FI says we need to talk. The photographer called him and said there are complications with his wife's pregnancy now, and they won't be able to make it...and their back up plan has booked another wedding this Saturday. He is sending someone else, whom we've never met and honestly I don't care for his work, it is not my style at all. I feel awful because they are clearly going through a tough time right now, but at the same time...they should've had a better plan B in place. I'm fuming that we went over budget in this area, only to end up with a photographer that I've never met and doesn't appear to be my style.

On top of that. I found out yesterday, our hair and makeup people only figured in an hour and a half to do 5 up dos and 1 makeup application. And they are coming from doing another wedding party. What if that one runs over? I've never seen a salon think it is practical to do all of that in 1.5 hours, even if they show up right on time.

Thanks for listening, I think FI is getting sick of hearing it and keeps telling me I just need to suck it up and deal...a little nicer than that...but that's pretty much how he feels about all of this.

zulamay · October 2011

Wow! That is a lot to handle this close to your wedding. I would be really upset too. I think you need to be frank with your photographer and tell him that you don't like this other guy's work, and see if he can help find you another person. It is really awful planning on your photographer's part to book a wedding that close to his wife's due date...definitely let that show if your reviews.

For hair & makeup, you will probably be ok on time but it is tight. We went through 7 girls (5 updos, 2 styles) in about 2 hours with 5 stylists working. If you feel that you need backup, you might try makeupHairbyCher.com - Cher did our makeup and she did an excellent job, was quick, and really nice.

CantWaitDIYBride · October 2011

ugh!! I am so sorry!! I can see your frustration. I would def be giving the salon a call. There is no way a salon can do 5 up do's and make up in 1.5 hrs, unless they have 5 stylists coming over.
I think with the photographer, its kind of hard to get upset at. (The original photographer that is) Their plan B should of NEVER booked another wedding. That is their fault. For that they need to compensate you. I feel photography is a very important part of a wedding. You spend a lot of money on what you LIKE. If you dont like it, you shouldnt have to pay for it.

sarahsaturday2701 · October 2011

Wow that sucks- I'm really sorry that is happening so close to your wedding

Is your photographer Adam Czap by any chance? Just wondering because we met with him and his wife was due in October. We ended up not going with him because our personalities did not click at all, but he had some really amazing work. I'm not sure if you even want to worry about calling other photogs so close to your wedding, but we met with a ton of photographers and here are a few I thought were comparable to his style (again this is assuming he was your original): Dionne @ The Shooting Gallery, Mark @ Fotografz, and Jeff @ JLB Wedding. Good luck!

rcj2rcd · October 2011

I'm sorry this is happening! You have a ton going on right now and don't need this.

Photographer - yes, your main photographer has some important life events going on, but that doesn't excuse him from his contractual/professional duties to you. Talk with him and explain your reservations about the Plan C photographer. I would also talk with the Plan C photographer - maybe you didn't see the full range of their portfolio (for example, I didn't care for the photos on my photographer's website but I loved the portfolios she had at her studio).

Hair and makeup - it's going to be really close. Make sure your girls are there early, have pictures of what they want, and have their hair freshly washed and dried. I would ask the salon to send someone else to you earlier ahead of your main stylists to get a head start. This person can start curling the girls' hair and pinning it up to prep for an up-do.

mcmeghan311 · October 2011

Sorry to hear about your photographer issue, that would stress me out immensely. I was going to suggest that you cancel, but I see you're getting married this week, so that's not possible.

What I really wanted to comment about though....forgive me if this was in another post or has been up for a few days, but this is the first time I've noticed your "other" ticker. Congrats!!!!!

Sue-n-Kevin · October 2011

I'm so sorry to hear this is happening and your wedding is this week. I can so understand your anxiety and worries

I agree with what all the prior posters said about hair/makeup. More than likely they'll have enough time. Have everyone ready to go with pictures. YOU are the most important person, so you go first, and then in order for the rest. If some don't get their hair done, then that's just the way it is. When they arrive make sure you discuss with them the timing, etc. Hopefully you have some time built in to hedge your bets on what comes after the hair and makeup.

RE the photographer, that is really awful. You did have warning it might be an issue, but sadly it is the worst case scenario. You have a contract and I'd review that. You are getting the 3rd best photographer, and not what you contracted for. I would address all the calls to the one actually coming, and make certain that photographer knows what you want, etc. If you've prepaid everything, or owe money when they arrive, I'd make certain you negotiate something a bit less. They cannot expect full payment when they are putting you through this angst right before your wedding.

Then, I'd relax, have a drink of wine, and know that your dreams are coming true........ just a bit different than you planned.

Good luck.

Meegles4 · October 2011

That sucks Ally! I agree with what Sue said re: the photographer. Definitely negotiate a discount. That's ridiculous that the Plan B booked another wedding, especially because, as you said, you were basically counting on the Plan A photographer not to be there because of the baby.

I know it'll all get worked out. It just sucks to deal with drama 2 days before!

Meg1036 · October 2011

Oh, I'd be irritated. The backup photographer - who you don't like, when you thought you had a photographer you did like - is a major problem, IMO. There's little or nothing you can do about it, but I would certainly be asking the photogapher for some sort of refund. Depending on how your contract reads, you might not have legal ground to stand on with that, but I would ask nicely, while expressing your extreme disappointment with the situation.

The hair thing - how many people do you have? It could be a bit tight. But here's the thing - the wedding won't start without you. And no, you don't want to be late. But this WILL work out. My organist forgot to come, we called him, and because of that, he arrived (and the ceremony started) 30 minutes late. It sucked at the time, but in hindsight it was ok. Because we still got married. Remember - it won't start without the bride.

zulamay · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_wedding-meltdown?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:a769d5a2-a317-400f-b745-046a63612d2fPost:140a2014-4e6f-4e5d-b508-0b05255040b5">Re: Wedding Meltdown</a>:
[QUOTE]But here's the thing - <strong>the wedding won't start without you.</strong> And no, you don't want to be late. But this WILL work out.
Posted by Meg1036[/QUOTE]

<div>This is so true. Even if you had 4 hours planned for hair and makeup, something else could go wrong and still make you late. But no one notices. They are happy to be there, have already cleared their schedules for the day for you, and most people know how hard it is to get that many people organized. :)</div>

entropicbeauty · October 2011

Since plan "c" was never discussed with your photographer, they should be giving you a discount on the overall services for the day. You shouldn't be punished because they are unable to meet their original contractual obligations.

It would be tough to find someone completely new, but the quality of the third photographer's portfolio sounds sub-par and therefore you shouldn't be paying the same price.

Discuss it with the original photographer? I understand he's got other stuff going on with his life, but this is still important for you....

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