personal attendants

ktanne44 · August 2011

I am wondering if it would be alright to ask 2 of the GM wifes to be my PA's. They are both great friends of mine, I was a BM in one of their weddings and my FH was a GM in one wedding and an usher in the other. They are twin sisters and my FH and I spend a lot of time with them and their husbands. I want them to be a part of the wedding and be invloved during the whole process, one of them already mentioned that she would do my hair. any suggestions on how to get them invloved? What exactly are the PA's responsbiblies? Is it rude to ask them to be my PA's?

ogrady88 · August 2011

Personally, I've never really understood the point of a PA. If they really are good friends you could have them in the WP, if not, why not just have them as guests?

ktanne44 · August 2011

They are good friends but we dont have 2 more GM so I cant have 2 extra BM. Both of their husbands will be GM and I just wanted them to be involved some how.

ogrady88 · August 2011

why not have them as BMs? You could have uneven sides or one could stand on the Groom's side to even it out. If you don't want to do that, is there a reading they could do together?

graysquirrel · August 2011

Just to let you know, PAs are not looked really well upon on TK. If you post anything about them on the WP board, look out!

PAs are kinda seen as leftover, bridesmaid runner-up jobs. They are not good enough to be your BM, but they are good enough to be your unpaid helpers. What they do depends on what the bride asks. In my family, it is tradition to have an older, married woman be your PA, so I picked my aunt in her 60s. Not someone who would have been my BM, but someone who could basically help my super frantic mom with some set up and lace me into my dress. I can't say that it is a total bad thing to have one since I did myself, but I do agree with most brides on here that if you are picking someone closer to your age, someone who could be a BM, that it can be a crap job.

If you want them involved without the possibility of hurting feelings, I might make them readers. And if you do want them to be BMs, I would just do it. A good percent of weddings have uneven parties now and nobody minds. Guest is always an honor, too.

Sarahsue1684 · August 2011

My Husbands Twin Sisters are older than us by 5-6 years and have had there share of being in weddings. My husband wanted them to be a part of our wedding but they requested not to be BM because their kids were going to be ringbearers. They were so happy to be PA's. I really didnt need PA to be honest. The only thing I had for them to do was put on some chair covers and sashes the morning of the wedding. I really dont see a need for PA's as well but this is something they wanted to do.

LCW2LCO · August 2011

haha. I think people's opinions are great but so harsh sometimes. Point is... you do what you'd like to do. Honestly, I've been a PA in many weddings because I am around the industry a lot and good friends w/ the brides. I've never felt offended or anything - more priviledged that people would put that trust in me to help their day run smoothly and be a part of the festivities.

We have 2 PA's and 4 BM's. All are wearing the same style dress even just different colors. We're treating them as part of our wedding party but will be similar to the ushers.

If people think of PA's like runners up - what do you think of Ushers as? lol... think about it

I'd say asking for people to be a PA is an honor itself. Just a way of thinking of things.

ogrady88 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_personal-attendants-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:1030c374-6733-44f4-af77-db16ac05f138Post:d5bda003-7664-430f-8dc2-2629b4a46e9b">Re: personal attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]If people think of PA's like runners up - what do you think of Ushers as? lol... think about it ;) Posted by LCW2LCO[/QUOTE]

Ushers are typically considered a part of the WP and do help to seat guests at the ceremony. Which actually brings up another option, OP-the two women could also help seat guests as ushers.

LCW2LCO · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_personal-attendants-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:1030c374-6733-44f4-af77-db16ac05f138Post:7681dcdb-a9b0-4bde-8999-5d1965ebb745">Re: personal attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: personal attendants : Ushers are typically considered a part of the WP and do help to seat guests at the ceremony. Which actually brings up another option, OP-the two women could also help seat guests as ushers.
Posted by ogrady88[/QUOTE]

True traditionally. But not always. Many weddings I've been around have only used them for seating guests and then they go on their way.

Moral to the story - there's no one way to do a wedding and involve people. :) Everyone should have their own way of doing things... it makes every wedding special too. WP can encompass whatever/whomever people want. :) Such a fun day, the more the merrier!

L

jenn920 · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_personal-attendants-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:81Discussion:1030c374-6733-44f4-af77-db16ac05f138Post:d5bda003-7664-430f-8dc2-2629b4a46e9b">Re: personal attendants</a>:
[QUOTE]haha. I think people's opinions are great but so harsh sometimes. Point is... you do what you'd like to do. Honestly, I've been a PA in many weddings because I am around the industry a lot and good friends w/ the brides. I've never felt offended or anything - more priviledged that people would put that trust in me to help their day run smoothly and be a part of the festivities. We have 2 PA's and 4 BM's. All are wearing the same style dress even just different colors. We're treating them as part of our wedding party but will be similar to the ushers. If people think of PA's like runners up - what do you think of Ushers as? lol... think about it ;) I'd say asking for people to be a PA is an honor itself. Just a way of thinking of things. :)
Posted by LCW2LCO[/QUOTE]

This. You and I think alike on many subjects, Lauren :) I have been a PA in a few weddings as well, and I've been honored. I have two PAs also, my best friend's fiancee and my cousin - both girls that I want to be involved in the day, but am not close enough to anymore (my cousin) or yet (my friend's fiancee). They don't really have "jobs" persay, but instead its just a nice excuse to have them participate in the entire day :)

ktanne44 · August 2011

thanks everyone! I think that I will ask them to be invloved

hoeschjm · August 2011

My sister and I were PA's in my cousin's wedding this summer and it was a great experience! We got a lot of compiments from the WP and other guests on how well we took care of things so the Bride and Groom didn't have to worry and could enjoy every aspect of their day. Plus we were with her right before she walked down the aisle, calming her nerves. That moment in itself was worth it for me. My cousin is going to by my PA next summer.

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