Destination Wedding not legal - so, two weddings?

Re: Destination Wedding not legal - so, two weddings?

• AdeleDazeem member

  

  January 2012

  I think spending all that money to "get married" in Italy is a waste if it doesn't end in a legally binding marriage contract.
  
  We had a destination wedding in a place where we could legally marry (Bermuda) and therefore have it be legal everywhere.  I would not have done it any other way.

  
  

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• Grits8812 member

  

  January 2012

  Your real wedding is the day you sign the papers saying you are married.  Which will be your anniversary. 

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• naomikb member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_destination-wedding-not-legal-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1d044bcb-0552-4ee4-9a2c-3b54952c4c7dPost:d231fc0e-523b-40b6-afb7-a2b7df4de072">Re: Destination Wedding not legal - so, two weddings?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think spending all that money to "get married" in Italy is a waste if it doesn't end in a legally binding marriage contract. We had a destination wedding in a place where we could legally marry (Bermuda) and therefore have it be legal everywhere.  I would not have done it any other way.
  Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]
  I agree with Joy. 
  
  If the vows you say in Italy aren't legal, is it more of a honeymoon/vacation?  I don't see the "wedding" in it.

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• DramaGeek member

  

  January 2012 edited January 2012

  Ditto the others.  Personally, I don't see the point of getting married where it won't be legal, since you won't actually be getting married.  Either do the work to make it your legal wedding or get married someplace that it is legal.

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• Avion22 member

  

  January 2012

  While your anniversary is on the date that you actually got married (legally married), you can choose to celebrate annually on any date that you want.   There is no law that you must go out to dinner and exchange cards on the date of your legal marriage every year.   

  

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• ElleB87 member

  

  January 2012 edited January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_destination-wedding-not-legal-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:1d044bcb-0552-4ee4-9a2c-3b54952c4c7dPost:d231fc0e-523b-40b6-afb7-a2b7df4de072">Re: Destination Wedding not legal - so, two weddings?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think spending all that money to "get married" in Italy is a waste if it doesn't end in a legally binding marriage contract. We had a destination wedding in a place where we could legally marry (Bermuda) and therefore have it be legal everywhere.  I would not have done it any other way.
  Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]
  
  This. I would have never gotten married in Ireland if it wasn't going to be considered legal at home. 

  

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• freebread03 member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_destination-wedding-not-legal-two-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1d044bcb-0552-4ee4-9a2c-3b54952c4c7dPost:0cf3d233-cc5f-43fa-b9fa-83ff97f41fc1">Destination Wedding not legal - so, two weddings?</a>:
  [QUOTE]We are planning on eloping in Italy - but it's very difficult and expensive to do that in a legal way, so we will have a quickee wedding at CityHall also. Has anyone else done this? Did you do the legal part before, or after? And what do you count as your anniversary? I feel very conflicted about this because for some reason I am hung up on the "officiality" of the wedding. <strong>My fiancee thinks the legal one is more like paper work, </strong>while the ceremony in Italy is our real wedding. I would love to hear from anyone who has done this!
  Posted by beckyriley214[/QUOTE]
  
  I agree with PPs that it doesn't really make sense if you're not legally married in Italy.  It might make more sense to just do Italy as a honeymoon if it's not even legal.
  
  That being said, JOP or courthouse is NOT just paperwork--it's when couples actually tie the knot, get married, whatever you want to call it.  I'm planning to go to the JOP and I certainly won't consider it "just paperwork"--set your fiance straight :)

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• beckyriley214 member

  

  January 2012

  Right, no relatives there. Just us! I have been thinking now that I really want the elopement to be our real anniversary, so I think we will get the license beforehand, but wait for the city hall ceremony unitl we return. That way, the Italy ceremony won't feel anti-climactic. Thanks for your reply!

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• micls member

  

  January 2012

  It really depends on your beliefs.
  
  Many religious people view the ceremony as the vital part e.g. if your Catholic then it's the sacrament that is most important, not the legality.
  
  So it comes down to your own beliefs really.
  
  On the anniversary part, who cares? Celebrate your anniversary whenever you want, it's a personal thing between the 2 of ye that doesn't affect anyone else.

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