Planning my own bachelorette party?!?

Re: Planning my own bachelorette party?!?

• CassieeK

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

   In my circle, bachelorette parties require very little planning. We go have some drinks at a couple bars and that's all there is to it. Sometimes there are penis straws or veils with condoms glued to them. Nothing orchestrated and meticulously planned out. I would just get together with some girlfriends and go out.  It could still be your bachelorette party with no planning involved.  And then no etiquette rules have been broken.  

  

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• covejack

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  Yeah, agreed.  It's kind of rude to plan parties in your honour, so just organize a night out and don't call it your bachelorette.

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• jessicabessica member

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_planning-own-bachelorette-party-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:b03ba6ca-1c03-46f4-a9dd-f65322594d1bPost:1aa3c30b-16fd-4adc-918c-3c384fa4c691">Planning my own bachelorette party?!?</a>:
  [QUOTE]A few months ago, my cousin offered to plan my bachelorette party and help with all sorts of wedding things.  At that point my only attendant was my "Dude of Honor" (my brother) who I promised wouldn't have to plan a hen party.  FI and I decided to add a second attendant to each side so I could recognize my cousin for everything she was doing by making her a BM. A few weeks ago, my cousin ran a few ideas by me and asked for a guest list.  The party sounded like a blast, so I've been getting a list together for her... until I spoke to her yesterday.  Her employer refused to give her any time off for my wedding, so she said if she's still working there when that comes around, she'll quit in time for my BP.  However, she also just applied for her dream job out in Wyoming (wedding is in New York), and said that if she gets that job, she'll be able to come in for the wedding itself, but won't be able to make it to the rehearsal or deal with the BP. Should I be happy that she's found an opening for her dream job and plan my own bachelorette party?  Is it unreasonable that I'm a little frustrated that she might be backing out on the offers that were part of my decision to put her in the WP?  <strong>Or is the stress of the less-than-three-month-out mark just messing with my head?</strong>
  Posted by Storytime[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>A little bit :).  I think you need to just be supportive of her maybe getting her dream job, and don't pressure her about the b party.  Remind yourself why you asked her to be a bridesmaid--presumably based on your relationship with her and not the promise of an excellent b party.  </div><div>
  </div><div>If she'll make it to NY in time for the b party, you can let her know that you aren't expecting anything fancy, and see if she's ok with getting something laid-back together.  If not, see if another friend offers a b party, but do not plan your own b party.  There's no problem with having a girls night unrelated to the wedding that you invite friends to, but hosting a special party in your own honor is not proper etiquette.  </div>

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• Storytime

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  Most of my friends would have to come from out of town for the party, since none of my closest female friends live anywhere near me.  If I throw a "not-a-bachelorette-party" night out, is there any way to invite people to come in for it without making a big deal about it?  Or does that distance automatically make it a big deal?

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• Storytime

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  (The last plan I heard from my cousin was hitting a classy jazz club in NYC... so nothing with too much planning, but still enough to get my girls in town for it, and then get us all into and back from the city...)

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• LoveMuffins member

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  i think inviting all the girls to a "Girls Night Out" with official invites and everything would be fine the main diff between that and a bachlorette party would be that at a bachlorette party, the bride doesn't usually pay for anything. that's why throwing a party and calling it a "bachlorette" is sketchy, because that means you're throwing a party where you're expecting others to pay your way. inviting all the girls in for a Girls Night Out implies that you'll be paying your own way - although i wouldn't be surprised if you don't pay for much that night
  
  i think your cousin's plan sounds awesome, and if that's something you want then go for it!

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• Jluse

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  I would just plan something informal. When you look back 5 years from now you will probably not think it was that big of deal. I can understand your frustration, I myself have had a few bridezilla moments however keep what is really important in perspective. I am sure she feels bad about missing out and will try to make up for it.  Her friendship and support is for a lifetime.  

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• hjbernstein

  

  June 2011 edited December 2011

  Don't be mad. You can always do a fun girls night out in the City or wherever and just a hotel room to all share, go to dinner and then out. If you don't want to plan anything check out BeforeTheKnot.com - they do it all from start to finish. I swear by it!

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