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Uncooperative future mother in law

ccolwillccolwill member
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in Chit Chat
It's actually my future husbands step mom...but i have been asking for over 6 months for a guest list from her...and now she wont even respond to my requests! Does she not want her family to be invited??? I don't understand what the big deal is! Just please do what I ask...it's not hard, there is no need to make this difficult. ughh!
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Re: Uncooperative future mother in law

  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Your FI should really be dealing with his stepmother.  He should just tell her, "We need a guest list from you by this date, otherwise we won't be able to make any additions to the master list."  And then leave it at that.  She's an adult, she can figure it out.
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  • jenn.danieljenn.daniel
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_uncooperative-future-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:679c6fc5-9f05-4a6e-a418-6fdc6878c335Post:ba8070c9-78dc-4d17-b8b0-a53966dd67ce">Re: Uncooperative future mother in law</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your FI should really be dealing with his stepmother.  He should just tell her, "We need a guest list from you by this date, otherwise we won't be able to make any additions to the master list."  And then leave it at that.  She's an adult, she can figure it out.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    I don't think I have anything to add.
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  • mscutierimscutieri
    1000 Comments
    You told her what she needed to do.  Move on from there.  When it comes time to send out the invites, don't send any to her family -- that might make her realize the consequences and her family will now recieve their invites late. or not at all.
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  • phoeny_moonstarphoeny_moonstar member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_uncooperative-future-mother-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:679c6fc5-9f05-4a6e-a418-6fdc6878c335Post:ba8070c9-78dc-4d17-b8b0-a53966dd67ce">Re: Uncooperative future mother in law</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your FI should really be dealing with his stepmother.  He should just tell her, "We need a guest list from you by this date, otherwise we won't be able to make any additions to the master list."  And then leave it at that.  She's an adult, she can figure it out.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    Yep, I totally agree with this.
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  • sapphirebaby926sapphirebaby926
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Your wedding isn't until may - chill out on this for a few months. If she has people she would like invited she will get them to you in time to get invites out. Give her a deadline and if she doesn't get the names and addresses to you by then than they are not invited.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    100 Comments
    I was stressing out for the same reason simply because our reception is based on head count-of course-and with each addition the fee goes up DRAMATICALLY, so it's nice to know who you're going to have to feed ahead of time so you can pay that amount. I agree with everyone else, though. You mentioned it to  her numerous times, she obviously doesn't care for them to be invited. When the invitations go out, and she doesn't receive any for her side-all you have to say is 'I told you so.' Some people don't realize that it's effort on both parts-yes it's a celebration of love to be shared with family and friends, but come on, people! We need head counts!
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  • jcrew_shopaholicjcrew_shopaholic member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    I gave my FMIL 7 months to give me a guest list.  She ended up never giving me one so now she doesn't get anyone from her or my FFIL's side of the family coming.  I ended up booking a reception site that can only accomodate 50 people, so there is no chance now that she can add people-although I didn't book the reception site for this reason :)  It ended up being so much easier and enjoyable this way!  I would recommend it!!
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