Who to take wedding dress shopping??

lndskelly · August 2010

Hi all,

Who should I take with me for wedding dress shopping? I have 5 bridesmaids and so far have invited 3 to come shopping with me in a couple of weeks. Do I need to invite them all? Will the other 2 feel left out? I think having all 5 will be too much... (My mom can't come that day so it's just bridesmaids)

Should I invite the bridesmaid who is my fiancé's sister if I've invited my bridesmaid who is my fiancé's brother's fiancé??

Any advice on how to navigate this sticky situation would be very helpful!

Thanks!

opalsky007 · August 2010

Five is a big group, but I would invite them all to avoid hurting any feelings. I doubt that all 5 will want to come.

You can always go back on your own or with a smaller group (or just your mom) if you want to focus on your own feelings about the gowns and not all of the opinions.

twilight.rose · August 2010

Ditto opal. You don't have to buy a dress on your first shopping trip, so you can always go back later if you feel too much pressure from such a large group.

Amivy06 · August 2010

I agree with the PP's. Five is a large group and most bridal shops are not always happy with large entourages. You should still ask the other BM's, as opal said, to avoid hurt feelings. On the two trips we took I only took 2-3 people. They were my mom, FMIL, and one of my BMs.

emilycastillo08 · August 2010

i had a pretty large group the first time i went and was being pushed towards a dress that was obviously more my sister's style and not my own. I went back with just my mother and we ended up finding a dress and buying it that day. I was a lot less overwhelmed when just my mom went.

Beachy730 · August 2010

I'd invite them all to spare hurt feelings at this point. Especially if you haven't invited FSIL yet but invited FI's brothers FI. Mention iit to all 5, then pick a day that convenient for you and let them all know if they cn make it great.

5 is a lot of opinions to have with you. If you ever watch Say Yes To The Dress it always seems like the more people that harder it is. So if you can't find a dress that everyone loves, don't get discouraged. Keep some ideas in mind, and go back at a later date with your mom and maybe your MOH or someone.

fancieface · August 2010

I've been thinking about the same thing. I'm not one for too many opinions all at once. I'm thinking of just my mom the first time, then the next time I can invite my 4 bridesmaids, then if I go looking again I can go with just my FMIL and one BM. I would invite all the BM to avoid any hurt feelings.

BlueBoxBride · August 2010

I think you need to invite everyone to avoid hurt feelings.

The first couple of times I went dress shopping, I went alone. The final time when I found my dress, I actually went with my future MIL (who was SO excited).

lndskelly · August 2010

Thanks everyone!

I did decide to invite everyone. I felt really bad about not inviting some. I'll try to not be TOO swayed by all of the opinions when we are there. And I can always go back another time.

Thanks again!

dramanut0410 · August 2010

Just remember this: The more people you invite to go dress shopping with you, the more opinions you will get. Everyone is different when shopping for dresses. Try thinking about how you shopped for dresses for high school (prom), did you go with your girlfriends or just you and your mom? Do you have a good idea of what kind of dress you want or not?

Best of luck!

lsleeper22 · August 2010

Great question… absolutely choose carefully who you decide to bring. Some friends interested in joining you may be more concerned with what they would want rather than remembering that this is your time and your choice to make. Also remember the more people you bring… the more opinions! At the end of the day, your dress is going to be what you feel amazing in and if you have too many opinions clashing with that feeling it can be frustrating. My most pleasurable experience while dress shopping was when I went with my mother and just two very close friends who are respectful and know me very well. While my mothers favorite wasn’t my favorite- (that can be typical) – but the day of the wedding she will care less about any other dress because there will not be any comparisons.

Good Luck!

-Lindsay

twixinthemix · August 2010

I have invited 3 of my 5 bridesmaids. I didn't ask the other two because they live in Maryland and Florida....and I'm in Indiana. I think they will understand. But my mom and possibly my FMIL are also coming. While I didn't necessarily think all 3 bridesmaids could come, we'll make a girls weekend of it (they're all out of state too). If it's too overwhelming, I'll go back alone. The thing I'm worried about the most is that my mom and I have completely different tastes and I'm so worried that I'll come out wearing a dress I love and she'll think it's the ugliest thing! So I'm glad I'll have other girls with me to give alternate opinions. And I invited my FMIL because she's going to alter my dress! Good luck!

crickel320 · August 2010

I took my MOH the first time because I trust her opinion (and my mom lives 9 hours away so she couldn't be there). I've gone back for a couple fittings and each time I've taken a different bridesmaid just to get their opinion and also have someone to talk to! It's been fun to let each girl in on "the secret" of my dress.

slr31 · August 2010

I've heard the scary tales that didn't end well of brides inviting big groups to her dress appointment. Remember, the more people, the more opinions, and the more you're going to want to please everyone at once. When I went, I brought just my mom and my MOH, and I felt that was enough. They both knew me well enough to know what I liked and what looked good on me. And none of my bmaids were upset or offended that I didn't have them come.

Noellesmama · August 2010

I personally wouldn't invite that many people to my first appt.

I took w/ me my mom, and cousin...that was it. AND I found the dress that day!

Judith233 · August 2010

I wanted to keep it simple so I just had my mother and godmother come along.

If everyone is able to come I would just try to remember that while they'll be sharing their opinions, it's your dress. Hopefully they will all be respectful of the look you want, not the look they think you should have.

apardy131 · August 2010

I took my 3 bridesmaids the first time and then the second tim I took my FMIL. The second time was to try on my 2 favorite and order. I had fun with all my bridesmaids and I enjoyed including my FMIL b/c she has three boys and no girls so that was her first time going wedding dress shopping.

I do not think that 5 people will be too much, I says one bride walk in with 8 people. You should include everyone so no one feels left out. It may hurt feelings to not invite some. You will have fun with them all and you could look for bridesmaid dresses with them all there too

lmr2384 · August 2010

All great options, I am just starting that process so will take all of these into account, I have been wondering!

Xan921 · August 2010

Honestly, I think you should just invite whoever you want. They shouldn't have their feelings hurt if they aren't invited to go dress shopping; there will be plenty of other things you can include them in...perhaps a second dress shopping, your fittings, hair trial, or even appointments with the baker, caterer, flourist, etc. I took all three of my bridesmaids and my Mom with me when I went, and although they had different opinions, I still picked the dress I liked the most. When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter really matter what their opinions are, you'll know it's the right dress when you put it on and that's the only opinion that matters.

becgrose · August 2010

i took my mom, MOH, bridesmaid (sort of an adopted daughter) and my brother's girlfriend. We narrowed down choices and my fiance and i went back a week later and made a decision.

My MOH actually picked out the dress I ended up buying. It wasn't even one of my options. I LOVE it and am so glad I had her there.

curaco3577 · August 2010

Well, I took my best friend and my future mother-in-law. I get along with my fiances mom really well and it was a lot of fun having her there. I didn't bring my mom or my sister because my mom doesn't like my fiance and my sister likes to point out all my flaws. It's important that you not bring too many people, having all those opinions flying at you might make it overwhelming. Good luck!!!

MrsG2B83 · August 2010

I went dress shopping 4 times with 2 of my bridesmaids and my MOH (this also gave them an opportunity to try on the dress I selected).

The first time was with a bridesmaid is not a dress girl, but still had fun with it. Problem was, her 6 year old came with and was jumping all over the place.

The 3rd and 4th time I went with my FSIL who has been married for a year and had almost too many opinions. To make sure that the dress I wanted was THE dress, she whisked me away to another store to try on more dresses. It just solidified my decision. When we went back the next day, she was real pushy with the sales clerk and by the end of the fitting, she was playing a video game on her phone and cursing loudly.

My 2nd time was the best. My MOH (who I've known since 3rd grade) drove for 8 hours to dress shop with me. This time, my 9 month old came with but she was able to keep him entertained (a Starbucks straw and an old magazine go a long way) and he didn't make a peep. Knowing me like she does, she was able to give her honest opinion on the dresses and I found THE dress with her and I wish I hadn't gone with anyone else.

Moral of the story; imagine how you want the dress shopping to go, then pick the girl who will fit that the most.

Who to take wedding dress shopping??

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