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Snarky Brides

Gah my wedding is tomorrow and I may have a situation

So, a little background on one of my bridesmaids

We were best friends in middle/highschool, kind of drifted apart but always the type of friends that pick up right where we left off.  We stopped talking to eachother when we were 19, then became friends again at 21 and have kept in contact since then.  We don't hang out much because our lifestyles are pretty different and we don't live very close anymore.

Anyways, the rehearsal was tonight, and she was 20 minutes late, whatever.  We had the dinner and she didn't come, my sister, also my MOH pulled me aside and mentioned that the BM had her dress shortened ridiculously short-like, you can almost see the bottom of her ass short.  She also brought her stripper shoes (she's a stripper, no I'm not judging just explaining).  I didn't buy them their shoes so I'm not upset about that and I know I can't do anything about it.  But what if her dress really is that short? What would you do?  All my other bridesmaids had their dresses altered and picked up 3 months ago, she just got hers altered on tuesday (she payed extra to have it done in time).

This will be a P&R but I'll be back when the rehearsal festivities are done.

Re: Gah my wedding is tomorrow and I may have a situation

  • Juju if you hadnt been around for so long I'd think a troll posted this. What craziness.

    Is it possible your sister is kidding you? Maybe taking the stripper thing and joking about it. All though that would be cruel of her.

    I'll be honest if she came out looking like that I would not be able to keep my mouth shut, this is your wedding not the Bouncy Room.
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  • If her dress is stupid short, SHE is going to look like the idiot not you.

    If you are getting married in a church, they may not let her in.  Some churches are strict about stuff like this (shoulders covered etc).

    I would worry about it.  Honestly there isnt anything you can do and its not going to be a reflection of you at all.
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  • Lordy Lou ..  this is a tough one. 

    I mean, what can you do? It's not like you can paste the length back on the dress. Yikes. Ask her to wear booty shorts underneath? I don't even know. 

    Are most people aware of her profession? If so, maybe they won't be overly shocked. It's only going to make her look inapproriate and somewhat trashy, not you. (And I'm not saying all strippers dress trashy all the time; it just seems this one has gotten used to uber-short hemlines.)

    Heart going out to you on this one.
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  • Yeah, the strippers I know all know how to dress appropriately for a wedding.

    But OP, don't sweat it too much..  She'll be the one getting judged.  Likely not you.
  • willywally5willywally5 member
    2500 Comments
    edited June 2012
    OK, that was a stupid thing to say (what I said in my previous post) because a stripper-short dress is gonna be pretty dang shocking in any setting but a strip club. Or maybe a street corner in certain neighborhoods. 

    But truly, it's only going to reflect poorly on HER. Nobody is going to think you OK'd the hemline or asked her to wear it that way. 
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  • I agree with the posters who said there isn't anything you can do.  If her dress really is that short, people will think poorly of her, not you.  I'm sorry you are dealing with this right before your wedding! 
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  • willywally5willywally5 member
    2500 Comments
    edited June 2012
    We are talking ass-bearing short here EdieLaura ...
    I really don't think there is any other appropriate place for that. Just my opinion. If some women like to, I say go for it! But then they will be discussed in a negative light, much like this thread.
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_gah-my-wedding-is-tomorrow-and-i-may-have-a-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f950ca3-164c-43ca-b2bb-5dab1bb03f83Post:11ac0754-44ee-4794-9641-f905956ec501">Re: Gah my wedding is tomorrow and I may have a situation</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are talking ass-bearing short here EdieLaura ... I really don't think there is any other appropriate place for that. Just my opinion. If some women like to, I say go for it! But then they will be discussed in a negative light, much like this thread.
    Posted by willywally5[/QUOTE]

    I will say MANY girls in my college days wore dresses that could be mistaken for shirts on a regular basis when they went out.  They weren't strippers but that didn't keep them from letting it all hang out.
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  • There was a girl in my friend's wedding whose ass was pretty much hanging out of her dress. She's the one who looks stupid in pictures, not anyone else. 
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  • It was my goal in life in college to dress like a stripper.  I had the body back then, lol.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_gah-my-wedding-is-tomorrow-and-i-may-have-a-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f950ca3-164c-43ca-b2bb-5dab1bb03f83Post:17d6623f-d928-49af-9169-61dc66f0e627">Re: Gah my wedding is tomorrow and I may have a situation</a>:
    [QUOTE]It was my goal in life in college to dress like a stripper.  I had the body back then, lol.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    HA! I didnt dress stripper per se, but I didnt cover up either.

    But even in my young age I knew to dress proper for weddings, funerals, and church.
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  • To answer a few questions...

    The BM arrived late, so my sister quick ran her dress and shoes into the dressing room at the venue for the BM and she saw how short it was (they are close in height).  The venue director suggested we bring everything the night before.

    The wedding is outside at the reception venue, so no one can kick her out :(

    My BM "didn't feel like " coming to the rehearsal dinner.  She also rsvp'd to both showers and then no-showed.  And then came 3 hours late to my bachelorette party with 2 girls I had never met before.

    You all have made me feel better.  I can be a control freak, so when I can't it kind of gets to me.  I guess this really is out of my control; like you all said, what CAN I do, really?  It helps to hear that ou all would see her as the one that looks bad, I didn't think about the fact that no one would really see it as her looking like a slutosauras=I'm a bad person or whatever.
  • LMAO, Slutosaurus may be my new fave word. 

    Glad you can have a sense of humor  about it ... 

    Hope your day is AMAZING tomorrow!!!!
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  • I dont know.. I am weird about these things. A wedding is NOT the place to be dressing like a stripper! That is disrespectful, IMHO. If one of my BM came to my wedding like that I would just not let her stand up there. I mean, she doesnt seem dependable when you need her the most, and if she "didnt feel like coming" then she doesnt seem much of a true friend to me. I mean, most BMs are excited for the brides and eager to attend the events! I know BMs arent REQUIRED to attend the parties and showers and all, but missing a rehersal dinner is kind of important. Missing everything just tells me that your wedding is not important ot her... So, if she comes tomorrow and her dress is really that short, I would just ask her to sit with the guests. ....I know I may get some haters on my comment, idk,.. but its just my opinion. 
  • Slutasaurus! LOL!

    I think this is a situation where you're just going to have to let it go. It's no reflection on you. At my first wedding, one of my girls who is VERY well endowed was totally falling out of her dress. We look back on it now and just laugh. It's all good, we had a fab day. I think you just have to approach it like that. Or pretend in your mind that the seamstress f'd up and your girl is being great about still wearing that super short dress. ;)

    It won't ruin your day, it's going to be amazing, so just try your best to let this one go!
    x
  • mfowler - I feel better now.  I am really uber cautious about doing anything to remove a BM from the BP but this would't be happening at my wedding.

    A stripper dress is completely inappropriate for a wedding.  Period.  If my friend did this to me I would feel completely disrespected and she would be a guest if she wanted, but she would sure as helll not be in the wedding party dressed like that.

    A bride is supposed to show incredible respect to her bridal party - regarding how much a dress costs, alterations, etc.  The BM is supposed to show up in the right dress, sober, and smile for pictures.  If a bride is to respect her BP that much, the BM can show some back.  

    If she indeed shortened her dress so drastically she obviously did it secretely and had no intention of you seeing it until the wedding.  I would feel like it was a slap in the face to our friendship.  

    You all are apparently far nicer than I am.  She wouldn't be standing up with me in a stripper short BM dress.

    2 of my girls were/will be married by a family friend who is a Baptist minister.  I wouldn't have to worry about what would happen if one of their BM's did this because my minister friend wouldn't allow it in the ceremony.

    OP - are you good with rolling with it?
  • juju, you sure do have a whole lot of drama surrounding dresses and your wedding. I seriously think that every post you've made on SB has been about your cousin buying your dress and now that her wedding is over, it's BM dress drama. 
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  • Can we see pics of the slutosaurus dress?
    image
  • Slutosaurus - I will have to add that to my vocab list.

    I would just ignore it the best you can, and enjoy your beautiful wedding day!
    Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_gah-my-wedding-is-tomorrow-and-i-may-have-a-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3f950ca3-164c-43ca-b2bb-5dab1bb03f83Post:ab3c83aa-d7fc-43e5-ac56-b446df3953d7">Gah my wedding is tomorrow and I may have a situation</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, a little background on one of my bridesmaids We were best friends in middle/highschool, kind of drifted apart but always the type of friends that pick up right where we left off.  We stopped talking to eachother when we were 19, then became friends again at 21 and have kept in contact since then.  We don't hang out much because our lifestyles are pretty different and we don't live very close anymore. Anyways, the rehearsal was tonight, and she was 20 minutes late, whatever.  We had the dinner and she didn't come, my sister, also my MOH pulled me aside and mentioned that the BM had her dress shortened ridiculously short-like, you can almost see the bottom of her ass short.  She also brought her stripper shoes (she's a stripper, no I'm not judging just explaining).  I didn't buy them their shoes so I'm not upset about that and I know I can't do anything about it.  But what if her dress really is that short? What would you do?  All my other bridesmaids had their dresses altered and picked up 3 months ago, she just got hers altered on tuesday (she payed extra to have it done in time). This will be a P&R but I'll be back when the rehearsal festivities are done.
    Posted by jujub423[/QUOTE]


    Off topic, But
    1. Congrats on your wedding!!!! :D

    2. I was completely distracted by your photo of the dogs!! I dont know why it made me laugh so much, but i think it was the puppies face. Just figured I would say

    3. I know I got to your post late but i hope all turned out well at your wedding. In the end I hope you enjoyed it and werent worried about your BM
  • Congrats!!!! Does anyone else wanna know how this whole thing turned out!?
  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2012
    She posted a new thread yesterday with some pics.  Bm dress was short, but not stripper short.  It all worked out and she was a stunning bride.

    Link: 
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