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New York-Hudson Valley

To toss or not to toss....

Hey Gals!

So here is my question because I am on the fence:  Do we do the bouquet/garter toss or no?

I'd like to do it because the 20-something's will enjoy it & people do get a good laugh. 

However, with that being said there is one young lady that will be there & will be all of 14.  I feel that it is inappropriate for her to go up since everyone else is 20+ and should not be placing a garter on her leg should she catch it & I know her parents will allow her to go for fun.

I've thought of do a "anniversary" dance instead & giving the flowers to the longest married couple but just can't make up my mind.

Thoughts?!

Thanks!!!

Re: To toss or not to toss....

  • probablykateprobablykate member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it's really up to personal preference.  I'm not doing the garter/bouqet toss because the implied assumption that if you are single you are supposed to be looking for someone to marry bothers me.  The bouqet toss always made me uncomfortable when I was single.  But some people love it so if it's something you think would be fun then go ahead and do it.  I wouldn't not do it just because of the 14 year old.

    We are doing the anniversary dance instead which I think is a really sweet idea.
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  • katiefinn03katiefinn03 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're doing the Anniversary Dance as well.  I personally hate the bouquet toss because it singles out all the single people at the wedding, also my group of friends would probably watch the bouquet fall on the fall rather then have to catch it.  I think it depends on how your friends and family will react.  I wouldn't let one younger person stop you.  You can always throw "cheat" and throw it to the side she can't get to. 
  • kristinanddankristinanddan member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: To toss or not to toss....:
    [QUOTE]We're doing the Anniversary Dance as well.  I personally hate the bouquet toss because it singles out all the single people at the wedding, also my group of friends would probably watch the bouquet fall on the fall rather then have to catch it.  I think it depends on how your friends and family will react.  I wouldn't let one younger person stop you.  You can always throw "cheat" and throw it to the side she can't get to. 
    Posted by katiefinn03[/QUOTE]

    If you really want to do this, and are afraid of the 14-year-old catching the bouquet, I agree with this.
    That, or if you really want to do it, invite all the women onto the dance floor, not just the single ones (same thing with the guys).
    Or just remove the whole guy who catches garter puts it on girl who catches bouquet part.


    Personally, we didn't do the tosses or an anniversary dance, and no one minded. I kind of hate how they stop the flow of the party.
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  • ssagessage member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I didn't do the boquet toss because there were not many single girls there (most friends were married before us). 

    I was in a wedding 13 years ago and there were two junior bridesmaids...about 11/12 years old and one of them caught the boquet and she was so nervous about the whole garter thing.  It was so ridiculous. 

    We also didn't do the anniversary dance, in fact, i have never been to a wedding that had one.

    I don't think anyone at my wedding missed any of that stuff.  But i agree with pp, it is personal preference
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  • LissyM83LissyM83 member
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm still on the fence about whether we're going to do the Bouquet/Garter Toss.

    I originally wanted to do the Anniversary Dance but my mom made me feel bad saying that my grandmother and FH's grandmother will both get upset since our grandfathers passed away recently.
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  • edited December 2011
    I did the bouquet and garter toss because I wanted to.  99% of the people at my wedding were already married but there were a couple of singles in the crowd and they enjoyed.

    You can have the DJ ask all the single 18+ get up.   Don't not do it because of the age thing.  If she catches it, the DJ will have the man put the garter on her arm. 
  • jamiefourjamiefour member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I did an anniversary dance because I hated the bouquet toss when I was single.  It is like it puts a big X on your forehead saying you are single.
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  • mockninemocknine member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did the bouquet toss but not the garter toss.  I've seen plenty of times where there is a young person involved or where family members both catch the bouquet and garter, and instead of the garter being put on the leg, nothing happens.  You just move on, and no one even notices that the second part didn't happen.
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  • MidgetteMidgette member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We didnt do it and we did have alot of single people there, but just decided it wasnt for us. 


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  • carolsdaycarolsday member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    OMG , i'm so glad i read this thread , I have always hated the bouquet toss and never even got up when they said to , but my aunt made me a handmade throw away and everyone is expecting it .  I didn't even think of not having it or replacing it !!  I am totally going to talk to the family over dinner this weekend and see what everyone thinks .

    And I also agree with pp , do what YOUwant , if it's only a matter of the 14 yr old , i wouldnt let that stop you . If she catches it , you can just do the garter throw and the guy can keep it . Just eliminate the whole garter on the leg thing . 
     Good Luck ! 
  • edited December 2011
    I want to thank you girls for your imput.  I was pretty much set on not tossing & I think I am going to stick to my guns on that.  I know there will be some disappointed people but it is OUR wedding after all! 

    Best of luck in all of your planning & thanks again for the advice!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: To toss or not to toss....:
    [QUOTE] Personally, we didn't do the tosses or an anniversary dance, and no one minded. I kind of hate how they stop the flow of the party.
    Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]

    Same here! We took the untraditional route and stayed away from all of that. No one seemed to mind the extra time for dancing!
  • mbrischouxmbrischoux member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    We did the anniversary dance because we felt it celebrated marriage and said to our guests "We want to share a long, happy marriage too."  We felt it was more fitting for the occasion.

    We also had attended a wedding where single people were actually CALLED OUT BY NAME  to the dance floor.  NOT RIGHT. EMBARASSING TO PEOPLE.  That sealed the deal on our decision to omit that tradition.

    Oh, and my husband didn't want to go under my dress in front of my dad;-)

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: To toss or not to toss....:
    [QUOTE]OMG , i'm so glad i read this thread , I have always hated the bouquet toss and never even got up when they said to , but my aunt made me a handmade throw away and everyone is expecting it .  I didn't even think of not having it or replacing it !!  I am totally going to talk to the family over dinner this weekend and see what everyone thinks . And I also agree with pp , do what YOUwant , if it's only a matter of the 14 yr old , i wouldnt let that stop you . If she catches it , you can just do the garter throw and the guy can keep it . Just eliminate the whole garter on the leg thing .   Good Luck ! 
    Posted by carolsday[/QUOTE]

    If you still want to use the one your aunt made, you can always choose someone special to give it to at the wedding. I was planning on giving mine to my sister/MOH and saying a couple of words over the mic about her. I didn't end up doing it. I sort of chickened out, and I am sorry that I did. I don't remember where I got the idea... someone here may  have recommended it, or my florist, or I read it somewhere.... regardless, maybe that is a way you can still make your aunt feel special by using the bouquet she made.
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