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Dealing with roommates

mybestfriendsfuturemrsmybestfriendsfuturemrs member
1000 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit

I guess I am officially 'living' with FI, his roommate and his roommate's GF.  UGH!!!
I love being able to spend time with FI and sleep in the same bed but it always seems like I am cleaning up after the roommate(s).  I do the dishes everyday, put them in the dishwasher, when the dishwasher gets full I run it, when it's done I unload it.  The next time I turn around there's effing dishes starting to pile up in the sink! WTF?! I feed their cat and clean it's litterbox. 
I know I am too nice! What can I do to gently let them know they need to take care of their crap?

How did/do you deal with roommmates?

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Re: Dealing with roommates

  • GwenwhyfareGwenwhyfare member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Passive aggressive notes.

    In all seriousness, I would sit them down and have a talk about who does what. It's not your responsibility to clean up after them or their feline friend. Does your FI's friend and GF live there, or do they just stay because they can?
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  • jodyk23jodyk23 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Good call Gwen. I think you need to hold a house meeting.

    What is the rent paying situation? That plays a factor in my advice also.
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  • mybestfriendsfuturemrsmybestfriendsfuturemrs member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It is technically FI's roommate's apt.  FI just pays $300.  GF & I both pay zilch.
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  • GwenwhyfareGwenwhyfare member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ah..I would talk to your FI about it then and ask him to talk to his friend.
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  • jodyk23jodyk23 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If FI isn't paying half, then it is a little more difficult to make them do their share.

    Rent is real cheap for the two of you, so you may not want to rock the boat.
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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Jody -- if you and FI are only paying a combined amount of $300, I wouldn't touch the subject.

    Personally, that sounds like a living hell to me.  I am so beyond the roommate thing (for the reasons you listed above) and I don't think I could ever go back to that living environment.  I couldn't even imagine in FI and I lived with another couple.  But then again, if we only paid $300 rent, we'd save money like woah and I might be willing to put up with it for a SHORT while.  But probably not.
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  • FrancesvmFrancesvm
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I've always had roomies and rented rooms out of my home so I've dealt with this more than my fair number of times. Maybe you could casually ask in passing to the others "Hey, I know I usually get a chance to do the dishes but tonight/this week is going to be a little tough for me ... do you think you might have a chance to do them...I would really appreciate it"

    If that doesn't work then I think you need to chat with your fiance and have him mention something to his roomie about pitching in.
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  • mordaciousmordacious
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_dealing-roommates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:f14d7f92-3091-4966-bf2d-a79d2df49bf9Post:e3de2681-3c18-4bdc-b172-e005ae86375e">Dealing with roommates</a>:
    [QUOTE]How did/do you deal with roommmates?
    Posted by mybestfriendsfuturemrs[/QUOTE]

    Don't have them! I HATE, HATE, HATE roommates. It doesn't matter what you say or do everyones idea of clean will be different than yours and you can't really force it upon them. It may work for a few weeks but in my experience they always go back.

    I'd rather pony up the extra money then deal with roommates.
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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://detroit.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_dealing-roommates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:88Discussion:f14d7f92-3091-4966-bf2d-a79d2df49bf9Post:e3d4c0fe-97c2-4b11-af38-e6718b32947f">Re: Dealing with roommates</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Dealing with roommates : Don't have them! I HATE, HATE, HATE roommates. It doesn't matter what you say or do everyones idea of clean will be different than yours and you can't really force it upon them. It may work for a few weeks but in my experience they always go back.<strong> I'd rather pony up the extra money then deal with roommates.</strong>
    Posted by mordacious[/QUOTE]

    THIS.

    I had my fair share of roommate-drama in college.  But then again, it was college so it was expected.  I swore off roommates after that.  I lived with my sister for 4 years after college and it worked out great because we grew up together and we got along, we had the same expectations of clean, etc.  Then I lived with FI -- which wasn't as easy as living with my sister.  LOL
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  • cmkunocmkuno
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is why I will never again for as long as I live no matter how poor I am ever live with a roommate again!

    Sorry lady, that sucks. My advise is to move, lol.  

    But seriously, I would talk to them, whether it rocks the boat or not.  Don't be all hostile about it, but I think it's fair to raise your concerns.  

    The dishes thing is kind of inevitable if you like a clean kitchen and they don't care.  You either have to live in filth or do it yourself.  But the cat is another story.  There is no WAY you should be cleaning it's litter box!  You've got to put an end to that ASAP.  Hopefully the cat will teach them a lesson by peeing on their bed or something, lol. 


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  • Lakerchic7272Lakerchic7272 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hahha. THis makes me laugh because DH and I actually live on campus at a university because his job allows him to and its a lot cheaper- and pretty nice while the both of us finish school.  But today when I picked up my housing forms the poor girl said something to the extent that "here's your room change policy, you have 2 weeks to change your mind, and if you have any problems don't hessitate to ask a staff member" I just laughed really hard and told her that it was more complicated than that!
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