Mother of Bride wants to wear white

dnbjenkins · November 2009

My mother wants to wear a white skirt to my wedding....how do i approach this without hurting her feelings and sounding like a bridezilla.

stina93446 · November 2009

Is it just a skirt? If so, it's no big. You should let it go.

SarahPLiz · November 2009

Unless your mom is going to be kissing your FI in front of the congregation and recessing down the aisle with him, I don't think she will be mistaken for the bride, even if she wears white. If she does these things, then you have a whole other issue.
No worries. If it looks good on her and she is comfortable in it, then she can wear it.

megk8oz · November 2009

Let it go.

Nevermind the multitude of reasons grown ups are allowed to dress themselves, I will just focus on this:

Since your wedding isn't until August 2011, there is an excellent chance that your mom will change her mind on her own about this and find something else to wear (There's this thing, it's called 'fashion', new clothes magically appear in stores every 2-3 months). Even if she does not, you seriously should not be thinking about what anybody but yourself is wearing for at LEAST another year at this point in the game.

leahlu · November 2009

If it's just a skirt it might not be so bad. At least it's not a white dress. But if you feel it's really a faux pas then maybe you should just explain that white is traditionally reserved for the bride and that she might get a lot of awkward looks if she wore it. Or just focus on finding her a great non-white blouse to go with it.

salt78 · November 2009

A white skirt is no big deal.

MyNameIsNot · November 2009

It's not worth starting a thing over. Just let it go.

No one is going to mistake her for the bride.

lpstl · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_mother-of-bride-wants-wear-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:462471f2-4c3c-47e8-b114-7ee542bb5823Post:1b2678a4-d16c-44c0-88d1-8f792498797f">Mother of Bride wants to wear white</a>:
[QUOTE]My mother wants to wear a white skirt to my wedding....how do i approach this without hurting her feelings and sounding like a bridezilla.
Posted by dnbjenkins[/QUOTE]

You don't approach it.

mocha beans · November 2009

I wouldn't bother with it. It's just a white skirt, I've seen lots of people wear something white to a wedding. No one will mistake her for the bride, or be so offended they clutch their pearls and need smelling salts.

blackfire5th · November 2009

DH Grandma actually wore white to our wedding. I'm pretty sure no one mistook her for the bride.

The only reason others are not suppose to wear white at a wedding is if they are trying to upstage the bride. Do you really think your Mom is going to try and steal your spotlight?

ca_surfergirl · November 2009

I thinking it depends on your relationship with your mother. Did she explicitly say she wants to wear white or is she planning to wear something she already owns? I would show her pictures of the bridesmaids’ dresses and show her pictures of your suggestions with explanation of why you thought they would be nice. She may not know her wearing white will bother you. Do you think that she may just want to standout at the wedding as being the mother of the bride (because that would be the only guest that would white). If that is the case, try to think of other ways to make her standout and suggest them? Maybe have the skirt the same colour as the BM dresses.

I am lucky when we were talking about clothing, it was stated that they would never dream of wearing white, so I haven’t had to deal with it personal. The wedding I was at this summer, the mother of the groom was wearing a white dress. Guests talked about how rude it was. I am sure it is not the intention of you mother to be rude, but she might give that impression by wearing a white skirt depending on your and your FI circles.

Bottom Line, your mother wants your day to be special and I bet if she knew how much it meant to you, changing her skirt won't be a big deal.

Good Luck

banana468 · November 2009

What color top would she wear?

For now, let it go. She may very well find something else to wear between now and your wedding.

squirrly · November 2009

My grandmother wore white to my mother's wedding. I think most everybody was aware that my grandmother was the bridezilla, but they didn't mistake her for the bride.

Jazzy_belle · November 2009

I would leave it alone. PP's have pretty much covered why.

jeanna85 · November 2009

my friend got married this summer and her mom was wearing a white dress. no one mistaked her for the bride and the world didnt come to an end. honestly, i commented on it and no one at my table even noticed it til i said something. i think only other to-be brides and knotties notice that sort of thing unless its an actual wedding dress or something.

trix1223 · November 2009

I think a white skirt is a whole different animal than a white dress. Really, I'd let it go. I think it's unusual, but ultimately not worth raising a fuss about.

There is a chance that she'll change her mind anyway, and unless she wears a white blouse and a veil no one is going to miss who the bride is.

emilyinchile · November 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_mother-of-bride-wants-wear-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:462471f2-4c3c-47e8-b114-7ee542bb5823Post:76ef33a5-17a6-483b-be02-a122bd671981">Re: Mother of Bride wants to wear white</a>:
[QUOTE]My grandmother wore white to my mother's wedding. I think most everybody was aware that my grandmother was the bridezilla, but they didn't mistake her for the bride.
Posted by squirrly[/QUOTE]

Hahaha, I am laughing.

Theresa626 · November 2009

I disagree with all these posters. It's your own mother. If you can't talk with her candidly about these things, who can you talk to? Just say to her that you'd prefer her not to wear that. Personally, I think other people will find her rude if she does wear white. She might not have thought of this. I always would rather have someone tell me how they feel then not tell me and resent me later. If it was your great aunt twice removed i might not say something but it's your mom. Just tell her how you feel.

banana468 · November 2009

Theresa, even with a mom, you need to tread lightly.

It can be tough to tell ANY grown adult that what they're doing is incorrect and that can be even more difficult when that person is the mom. You don't see a great aunt as often as you see dear old Mom!

lilgina64 · November 2009

I went to a wedding where the mother of the bride wore an ivory evening gown... it was really similar to the bride... everyone at the wedding was whispering about it, but the bride didnt care.

Offer to take her shopping for a new dress(if you can afford it) and just say you want the mother daughter time and you want your mom to feel just as pretty and special as you do that day. Depends on your relatinship with your mom. my mom and I are close so I could tell her "no way jose" and shed laugh and then pick out different. FWIW she is wearing an ivory top and a black skirt at my brother's wedding. my FSIL is not the least bit upset because it's flattering on my mom.

moshi's paw · November 2009

if your mom is *just* planning on wearing a white skirt and a smile to the wedding, then i'd take issue. but choice of skirt color isn't worth a year and a half worth of strife.

Lolo85 · November 2009

I partially agree. To me it depends on the relationship you have with mom. If I was discussing this with my mom I could say "ma you are not wearing white, you are gonna look a hot mess and that color does nothing for you ESPECIALLY IF IT'S GONNA BE A SKIRT, COME ON NOW! tomorrow let's go shopping for you a nice sage green dress." and then other peoples moms are real sensitive. I do agree with some other posters though, mom may change her mind sooner or later and you should consider trying to change her mind by taking her shopping or showing her pics of real pretty non-white dresses or skirts. I agree that she's grown but I disagree that mom just does whatever mom wants to do, white stands out and it's reserved for the Bride so she pops, nobody else needs to pop, white is off limits to me. But your mom is most likely not trying to steal your thunder, find a way to show her other dresses if it's not cool with you.

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