Money and Wedding Gifts

amberandersonrn · July 2010

Hi everyone,
I was wondering if there is a tactful way to ask for money for your wedding gifts. You know to help pay for the honeymoon. Thanks everyone.

added after: Well the reason I ask is not to tell people to give me money nor gifts. Ive heard of people registering at a website that allow people to purchase fun things for you to on your honeymoon or people can purchase like a nice dinner out for you on your honeymoon. Sorry, should have been more clear.

tldh · July 2010

Absolutely no way. You aren't supposed to ask for gifts at all. Registries are set up for people who contact you or your parents to find out if and where you are registered. One of the tackiest things you can do is put the registry cards in with your wedding invitations. The only thing worse, is asking for cash.

pandasquishy · July 2010

There is no way to ask for money tactfully. Furthermore, you should be planning a wedding and honeymoon YOU can afford. Don't ask your guests to pony up with their wedding gifts.

MNVegas · July 2010

NOOOOOOO! There is no polite way to ask for money no matter how your try to spin it. If you need help paying off your wedding & honeymoon, then you need to plan things you can afford on your own. Asking your guests to pay for your wedding expenses is just, well, rude!

A lot of people will probably give cash gifts without you having to ask them for cash, so just use that money. If you do just a small registry, your guests will get the hint, they are not stupid. If someone asks about gifts, say you are regisered at XWZ but are also saving for a HM. No registry information goes in or on wedding invitations. Also cash gifts are not appropriate for showers, since the purpose is to shower the bride with gifts, not money. GL

MyNameIsNot · July 2010

The only way you can subtly convey it is to just not register. If people ask, say "we really have everything we need." Most people will just give cash.

Those cash/honeymoon registry websites are horribly rude, so steer clear of those. They just make you look greedy. People know cash is a welcome gift. If they are comfortable giving it, they will. They don't need you to tell them to.

But like PPs said, do not rely on gifts to pay for the wedding or honeymoon. Most people will give gifts at or just before the wedding. Unless you are planning a 1st anniversary HM, you won't be able to plan for that money, and it's really unwise to count on it unless/until you have it.

quotequeen · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_money-wedding-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5628a436-526f-44e4-8b4d-4b412c0234a3Post:de54a23f-a00c-4ad7-8c81-f6fc86857e87">Money and Wedding Gifts</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone, I was wondering if there is a tactful way to ask for money for your wedding gifts. You know to help pay for the honeymoon. Thanks everyone. added after: <strong>Well the reason I ask is not to tell people to give me money nor gifts. Ive heard of people registering at a website that allow people to purchase fun things for you to on your honeymoon or people can purchase like a nice dinner out for you on your honeymoon.</strong> Sorry, should have been more clear.
Posted by amberandersonrn[/QUOTE]

It's the same thing. These registries deceive people into believing they're buying you a dinner, but the company actually just cuts you a check.

sbs2s · July 2010

Maybe I'm in the minority on the honeymoon registry, but we booked a cruise with Carnival for our honeymoon and set up a registry with them. I'm not sure how other honeymoon registries are, but they don't just give you the money, it is put into an account you can only use on the cruise ship. Every single person I have told (simply because I had no idea they did things like that) has thought that it is the coolest idea ever. A family member of mine even mentioned that they think it would be more meaningful for them to buy us a romantic dinner or a couple's massage on our cruise rather than say, bath towels. And I totally agree.

jemmini6 · July 2010

i think honeymoon registries are actually a clever idea. but if you would prefer actual cash, i'd suggest that to be a word of mouth kind of thing. i did that for my college graduation...people asked my parents what i wanted and she told them that my BF was taking me to hawaii for my graduation so i wanted cash to spend on excursions and food and stuff. there were a few people who are die-hard tangible gift givers and i got stupid stuff like cheap picture frames and oversized t-shirts from my university. while i understand their position, i personally feel i'd rather give someone somthing they'll actually use, not something that will still have the tags on it a few years later.

so if you don't need any tangible gifts, i think there's no harm in asking for something you use as long as you don't expect everyone to contribute (ie, plan a honeymoon you can afford without gifts)

frenchy730 · July 2010

No. There is not a tactful way to ask for money.

No. You should not use honeymoon registries of any sort-- it's essentially the same thing as asking for cash. Like another poster said, most of these companies dress up the registry by saying things like "oh how nice, you can contribute towards a romantic horse-back ride, or a fancy dinner" but really, they just take what they've collected and mail you a check. Either save up and pay for your own honeymoon, or don't have one.

if you do by chance get cash as a gift on your wedding day, it's your choice to use that for your honeymoon.

sbs2s · July 2010

Like I said....not every honeymoon registry is created equal, though. Some do not simply cut you a check. Some actually require you to use the gifted money towards things on the resort/on the cruise ship, like the one we are using. I think this is pretty different from simply getting money to help pay for the actual honeymoon itself, and not only okay, but a wonderful gift idea.

girl2bewed · July 2010

honeyfund.com is a good website to use. They dont charge guests or you a fee

Patineuse1124 · July 2010

I would use honeyfund.com to set up a HM registry. If you do that make sure to at least set up a small traditional registry for those that prefer to give tangible gifts. Also as PP mentioned make sure you plan a HM you can afford, don't plan on receiving contributions to pay for it all.

ETA - But don't put any registry info in your invites. It can go on your wedding website, in shower invites, and can be spread by word of mouth.

melliott09 · August 2010

I don't agree with the idea, but just to put it out there...........a HM registry is just like a regular brick & mortar store registry.....You are asking your guests to buy you something........Don't those toasters require the use of cash as well???

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