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mrscochrane
member
So frustrated! (long vent)
in Chit Chat
I am having such a hard time planning this wedding, there's some days I feel like it's all falling apart. I think what's making this hardest is that I'm trying to plan it from 12 hours away.
A couple days ago, I called a BM to make sure the dresses came in all right, and first thing she said about it was that she was having it shortened because the length was "ugly". She then proceeds to tell me that her mom made the first fitting appointment... for 10 am the morning after my staggette!!! Oh, and btw, I'm driving 12 hours, and taking 4 days off of work to do my party with them... Anyways, I asked if they would move the fitting to a different time or day and are refusing. My aunt is making it seem like I'm the bad guy for not wanting to get up at 8 am that morning!
I am also now down a (male) BM. Even though he knew about everything last August, he is just telling me now that he can't afford to be there. Of course now it's too late to order another dress for another BM
Nobody has been any help with this wedding, all that I have been getting is criticism (especially from my mother, not that she has any ideas to help though). I feel so unappreciated at this point. At this point, I would almost rather just elope to save the stress. I feel like this wedding could easily crash and burn, and it would all be on my shoulders.
A couple days ago, I called a BM to make sure the dresses came in all right, and first thing she said about it was that she was having it shortened because the length was "ugly". She then proceeds to tell me that her mom made the first fitting appointment... for 10 am the morning after my staggette!!! Oh, and btw, I'm driving 12 hours, and taking 4 days off of work to do my party with them... Anyways, I asked if they would move the fitting to a different time or day and are refusing. My aunt is making it seem like I'm the bad guy for not wanting to get up at 8 am that morning!
I am also now down a (male) BM. Even though he knew about everything last August, he is just telling me now that he can't afford to be there. Of course now it's too late to order another dress for another BM
Nobody has been any help with this wedding, all that I have been getting is criticism (especially from my mother, not that she has any ideas to help though). I feel so unappreciated at this point. At this point, I would almost rather just elope to save the stress. I feel like this wedding could easily crash and burn, and it would all be on my shoulders.
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Re: So frustrated! (long vent)
[QUOTE] I am having such a hard time planning this wedding, there's some days I feel like it's all falling apart. I think what's making this hardest is that I'm trying to plan it from 12 hours away. A couple days ago, I called a BM to make sure the dresses came in all right, and first thing she said about it was that she was having it shortened because the length was "ugly". She then proceeds to tell me that her mom made the first fitting appointment... for 10 am the morning after my staggette!!! Oh, and btw, I'm driving 12 hours, and taking 4 days off of work to do my party with them... Anyways, I asked if they would move the fitting to a different time or day and are refusing. My aunt is making it seem like I'm the bad guy for not wanting to get up at 8 am that morning! I am also now down a (male) BM. Even though he knew about everything last August, he is just telling me now that he can't afford to be there. Of course now it's too late to order another dress for another BM Nobody has been any help with this wedding, all that I have been getting is criticism (especially from my mother, not that she has any ideas to help though). I feel so unappreciated at this point. At this point, I would almost rather just elope to save the stress. I feel like this wedding could easily crash and burn, and it would all be on my shoulders.
Posted by mrscochrane[/QUOTE]
I'm with you on having the fitting the morning after the bach. party. I know I wasn't in shape to do anything for the entire day (acftually, the next day either).
Don't worry about the BM/GM dropping out; uneven sides are okay. As far as his finances go, things change so you can't really be upset with him for not being able to continue as a GM.
Your FI should be helping you plan, not anyone else. It's nice if they do help, but not a requirement.
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
I know it seems a lot at first, but the best advice I can give you is to be organized and make lists, lists, and more lists. What helped me was to priortize and write out a weekly to do list. I am the type of person who is a real go getter and I like to think I can do everything, but I just fool myself everytime. This wedding has taught me a lot, and if you just take step back it will also probably teach you a lot as well. It is possible to plan a wedding from out of state, we are only 3 wks away now and most everything is done. The hard part is going to be lugging all of this stuff home...lol. We were fortunate to be able to go home a few times and I have a wonderful FMIL who has been a great help.
Remember to not lose sight of what matters - and that is the two of you getting married, your committment to each other and a lifelong marriage. All the other stuff is just details that makes everything pretty and nice. It will all work out.
I had a BM drop out because of cost as well, She lives out of state and at the time she thought she would be able to come and be a BM, since then she has looked at her finances and even making it to the wedding might be a struggle, much less being a BM. So she dropped out and is still planning to attend the wedding. We are trying to help out as much as we can but our budget is $1000 for the entire event. While I would love to have her as a BM, I'm just happy that she is still planning to come.
In your post you say he can't afford to be there, is that at all? Uneven sides are not a problem, but hopefully he can still attend as a guest.
As for planning, I agree with the pp in getting organized and asking your FI for help. If he has an opinion about anything get him to help with it..
is your FI helping at all? do you have the budget to hire a planner for some help? doesn't have to be complete full planning service, but someone who can do like 2 weeks in advance or so which can be very helpful. also, some of the planners, even if you don't hire them for full planning service, they'd still be happy to give you suggestions and answer all kinds of questions for you, which is really awesome! im having a planner now for 2-weeks in advance help, but she has been so helpful on everything else that wasn't really in her contract to do. the only thing she didn't do is going through contracts with me. and it does take lots of frustration and pressure away!
also, let your BM know that you'd appreciate it very much if they can both work on their dresses, and follow your guidlines if you have any. i had to say the same thing fo mine (just one needs to know that, the rest were fine) and told her that im busy with lots of things and it's their reponsibilities to get some of the stuff done, and i dont want to be like chasing them all over like kids to make sure things get done - which, in my case, only to get the dress and alter it.
good luck~