Anyone else overwhelmed?

H2love · January 2012

Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed at all? I feel like i am stuck at square one the only thing I have even half way planned is a possible church and a possible firehall all the rest i dont even know where to begin. I dont know what all I need to do there is some obvious ones like food, liquour, dj, photographer, limo... I have changed my mind on colors 3 times, my maid of honor is not taking anything serious is this because its to far away? Am i being overly emotional? Sorry for the vent I just know the FI is getting tired of hearing the new feeling of the day lol.

MichelleBee773 · January 2012

I have had similar feelings! Sometimes I am super excited to have so much time to plan and other times I just wish we were getting married now so that I can enjoy married life and not have to worry about planning a wedding. I think it is normal.

The good news is... you have plenty of time. I am also having a lot of difficulty on choosing colors. I wouldn't worry too much about that. I hope things start to get better. You may want to try what I have put in place: certain days are 'wedding days' where my FI and discuss wedding details. All of the other days we try to keep like 'normal'.

H2love · January 2012

The thing is my fiancee is not the type to help plan. He is kind of the one who is you plan it and I will be there kind of man. I know he will be more helpful as it gets closer but not too much right now.

Swazzle · January 2012

I would start with browsing & trying to get an idea of what kind of wedding you want. The colors will come together later, you don't have to have that nailed down just yet!

I see you're in Philadelphia (I'm in NJ), most wedding venues in our area actually will provide the food & alcohol for you or they will have suggested caterers that will do that. (I'm getting married at a winery outside of Philly actually & using a recommended caterer but bringing in my own alcohol so I can purchase it in DE & save on tax).

The first thing I did was start on TK & looked at the venues. The venue is the most important IMO because once you find the venue & put your deposit down you'll officially have your date set. So I started contacting the ones I was interested in to get a better idea of their pricing. The ones that I liked & that were in budget I showed FI. The ones he also liked we made appointments with. We looked at about 13 places before we found "The One."

After that I started the same process over again but with photographers. We found "The One" on the first appointment.

We put wedding planning on hold for the holidays & now we're starting the process with DJs.

Just take it one step at a time. And remember to breathe

FLGatorGal88 · January 2012

We all feel a little overwhelmed at times... Don't worry we have plenty of time... As far as your MOH goes I am not sure why she isn't taking anything serious what things have you asked her to do or what have you all talked about? When it comes to talking to FI about the wedding I try not too talk about it a lot... I ask the important questions that I know I should have his input on and when it comes venting about WR things I pretty much just get on the knot and vent to other brides... After all they are going threw the same things we are

) just take it day by day if you are really overwhelmed and stressed make 1 or 2 days planning days and rest of the week just do your normal routine. About changing your colors I changed mine 3 times do I finally let FI pick out of the 3 color themes I had chosen before... Maybe you should do some inspirational boards of what you are looking for and show them to FI then maybe you two can decide on your colors together.

H2love · January 2012

Thank you! I actually am in Delaware. Our venue is well going to be a church for the vows and a fire hall for the reception i was trying to find a hall where we could bring our own liquor or an outside area where we could. We do not want something very formal but not extremely informal just a happy medium and on a good budget.

melb2013 · January 2012

I totally understand about feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes I also wish the date wasn't so far way, but this way we get to tackle small projects one at a time instead of all at once. Do you have anybody that you can bounce ideas off of? My fiance is pretty much happy with any details that I choose, so he's not helpful as far as talking about wedding details. My mom has been great! She and I have spent so much time just discussing ideas and looking online for inspiration. My man of honor is also pretty good, but I don't always trust his taste.

What's with your MOH? Is she a friend of yours or a relative? What is your relationship with her normally like?

H2love · January 2012

My MOH is my best friend we have been friends for years. She has just been very unreliable lately. I call her to have a quick conversation and she will say she will call me back and the call back is 3 or 4 days later. Plans days to get together and does not show. I told her I was thinking of having a Matron of Honor (which was not the original plan) she told me NO. I feel like I need to have a back up, or to start fresh i dont know honestly i feel like i am an emotional mess.

FLGatorGal88 · January 2012

I can somewhat relate to your MOH situation too... My MOH hasn't been the best MOH but then again we are far out so there really nothing I need her to do as of now... But I would ask her why she isn't returning your calls or why she isn't meeting up with you when you two make plans. iI she is your best friend you should tell her how you feel. If you want to have a matron of honor that's your decision not hers but I wouldn't do it just to have a backup. I would say when it gets to a year to 9 months out and nothings changed then I would start to reconsider the situation. Just take a deep breath and try not to get stressed out or worked up everything will fall in to place...

SSaltzman87 · January 2012

I wouldn't worry about your MOH, there really is nothing for her to do this far out. She's probably in the mindset of your wedding being so far out, so why worry even though you're immersed in it and have all sorts of details on your mind. But, with that said, has she always been like that? Weddings don't change peoples' ways, so I wouldn't expect her to be at your side 24/7 if she's usually not the type to do so.

Also, In general I'd keep wedding talk to a minimum with her as people do get sick of hearing about weddings, especially if it's not their own.

As far as feeling overwhelmed-I'm so grateful that I've already gotten so much done as my original date was June 2012. I'm sure once the 4, 5 & 6 month marks hit I'll probably feel more overwhelmed.

Swazzle · January 2012

Just to throw it out there, this is why most people on TK will tell you to wait until 1 year out (or later even) to ask anyone to be in your wedding. People change, friendships change, relationships change. KWIM?

Since you've already asked her to be your MOH though, I will say she has no right telling you what to do when it comes to your wedding. If you want to have a MatronOH, then go for it.

Also keep in mind, if you remove her from your wedding party you should be prepared for that to end the friendship.

H2love · January 2012

Thank you everyone. I am feeling much better and focused today. Thanks for all your support. I just needed to vent. I actually found someting on google docs today which helped me get very organized and made me feel tons better and for the rest I am just going to relax and take it one day at a time.

Anyone else overwhelmed?

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