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Christian Weddings

Oh the many miles...... (yeah, I'm ranting)

I just got home from spending a blissful weekend with my FI and his family! Because we live about 3 hours apart, FI and I usually only see each other every other weekend. The two weeks between visits are like torture! I spend them pining to be with my sweetheart, but then they come and go so quickly and it's time to say goodbye AGAIN! Saying goodbye is like having my heart ripped out of my body! It hurts SO BAD! I know that married life will be plenty hard, but it will be so worth it, because we will actually be together! No more goodbyes! No more separation! Can anyone else sympathize? 
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Re: Oh the many miles...... (yeah, I'm ranting)

  • Yep.  We were 1100 miles apart for the last 5 months of our engagement.  He graduated in December and got a youth pastor position in Kansas in January, I didn't graduate from our school in Virginia until May, and we got married in June.  The church flew him back to surprise me for my birthday in April, and I saw him at the end of May when my parents and I moved my stuff to Kansas, but that was it.  We would also be 4 hours apart during school breaks, including summer, and usually saw each other once for a few days when I would go visit him at his parents house in Maryland, because I lived in southwest Virginia.  It sucked, and marriage rocks.  No more spending 5 months apart, Lord willing.  
  • I can also sympathize. When FI and I were in the early stages of our relationship, we were about 3 1/2 hours apart. I remember how hard it was but I truly believe it helped make our relationship stronger.
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  • I can sympathize too.  FI and I live an hour and a half apart, so we only see each other on weekends.  Fortunately we do spend every weekend together, but Sunday evenings are always hard.  I thought it would get easier, but its gotten harder to say goodbye every week.  It has helped with our communication - we were very deliberate in the beginning with talking and getting to know each other well, and now we're down to 40 days!
  • The 4 months before we got married we were 2 and a half hours apart and I was the one with the car so I did alllllll the driving. It got old really fast. I can totally relate!
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  • We were 6 hours apart for the first two years of our relationship. We also didn't ever see each other during the summers that first year because he was a director at a children's camp. 

    It was really hard, but I will say I think we benefited from it. Not only did it decrease physical temptation, we were forced to learn how to TALK because that's all we did. When you're spending hours on the phone each night you are forced to talk about real things and share more than you would if you were just watching movies and hanging out. 

    I would do it again, for sure! You'll get to the end and it'll be worth it :)
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  • naomikbnaomikb member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited March 2012
    Yep, I can sympathize!  A few months before we got married my H moved to the east coast for a new job, he's about 2000 km away (20 hour drive).  He's been there for a year, we see each other usually for a long weekend (3-4 days) every ~6 weeks.  It can suck!  We Skype a lot and have unlimited phone/texting.

    Either I will move out east when I'm dong my PhD (1.5ish years more) or he will transfer to an office closer to here, we aren't sure yet.
  • azdancer8azdancer8 member
    1000 Comments
    edited March 2012
    Yeah, I can totally sympathize. DH and I were about 4 hours apart for our entire dating relationship and engagement (about 14 months- thank goodness we had a relatively short engagement or I would have gone insane). DH did most of the traveling at first, but for the last few months we alternated driving. It was always so hard to say goodbye. He usually left WAY later than he should have, and a few of the weekends when I stayed at his parents' I did the drive at 4am on Monday mornings to get to work on time. :P

    And yeah, finally being together all the time is the BEST thing ever! :D
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_oh-the-many-miles-yeah-im-ranting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:8a220692-8956-4330-9ff4-a4ae2e549381Post:11d993fd-f82c-429c-9b8a-06c7c09af631">Re: Oh the many miles...... (yeah, I'm ranting)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yep, I can sympathize!  A few months before we got married my H moved to the east coast for a new job, he's about 2000 km away (20 hour drive).  He's been there for a year, we see each other usually for a long weekend (3-4 days) every ~6 weeks.  It can suck!  We Skype a lot and have unlimited phone/texting. Either I will move out east when I'm dong my PhD (1.5ish years more) or he will transfer to an office closer to here, we aren't sure yet.
    Posted by naomikb[/QUOTE]
    oh wow, I had no idea you weren't living currently with your DH! That has to be hard, hats off to you!
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  • I totally sympathize!! DH and I dated for 6 years before the wedding. During that time, we were in the same city the first 8 months. Then he left for college an hour away so we saw each other every weekend to every other weekend. Then I went to college four hours away from where he was so we saw each other about once a month for the last 4 1/2 years before the wedding. I never wanted to have to say goodbye.

    While it was really hard at the time I wouldn't change it. For one thing, like Rebecca said, we learned how to talk. We spoke on the phone every night, which led to us knowing each other on a much more intimate basis. We also had a chance to grow on our own in college. If we had been at the same school I can guarantee that we would have spent most of our time together and would have missed out on the things we were involved in and all the friendships we made.
  • I feel left out, haha.  DH and I met at the college in our hometown where we both attended while both living in town about 20 minutes apart!  Due to schedules and such after I graduated (DH is still a student) we ended up only seeing each other once or twice a week, but still.  We have never been long distance.
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  • I definitely get it. FI's English and I'm Californian, so that's 6,000 miles and a 10-11 hour flight.  Plus, we just had to push back our wedding from May to October because we just found out his engagement visa isn't due to come in till mid-June.  So yeah, been there and it sucks.  But I agree with the others, as frustrating as it is, there is the side benefit of more talking about the deep stuff and avoidance of physical temptations.  Otoh, we probly would've been married a year or two ago if it wasn't for immigration stuffs, but oh well...
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