Gift for OOT Wedding

divadancer11 · January 2012

So if you are going to an OOT wedding do you give a gift or do you figure that since it cost you money to get there that one isnt needed?

annakb8 · January 2012

I've never been to a wedding that wasn't OOT and I always give a gift.

midgetthemighty · January 2012

I always give what I can afford, no matter if it's an OOT or in-town wedding. If you have to factor the price of travel into the price of the gift, then so be it but I would still bring something.

divadancer11 · January 2012

Sorry, let me rephrase...out of state

adktd2boots · January 2012

While I understand the expense in getting to the wedding, I believe you should still give something to the couple. It doesn't have to cost as much as a gift you may give to someone local, maybe just a $20 gift card or a check inside of a card.

I went to a wedding in CA in October and completely forgot to give the card to the couple. We were running late and left the card in the hotel room in the suitcase, where it still sits today. I have not received a "thank you for attending our wedding" and probably never will. I always remember the card at the wrong time- like right now while I'm at my desk at work.

annakb8 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-oot-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4063edb9-f84d-4078-a443-ffdb9ea7c82dPost:eb6830ca-9422-40c4-afa9-5e2bd1d92755">Re: Gift for OOT Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry, let me rephrase...out of state
Posted by divadancer11[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I've never been to one that wasn't out of state either.</div><div>
</div><div>Anyway, like pp said, give what you can afford. If you really can't afford a gift after paying to travel then I'd at least bring a card.

</div>

MattsPenguin · January 2012

The rule is to give what you can. Like Anna, the weddings that I attend are ALWAYS out of town and I always give a gift. The type/amount of the gift depends on how much I feel that I can afford and the relationship that I have with the couple.

Now on the flip side, we did have one guest who really wanted to attend but couldn't due to a family illness, so she used the money that she would have used on the plane ticket to buy us a really nice present. We thanked her profusely (she's one of my BM's moms that I've known my whole life).

froggatt.clare · January 2012

The B&G don't need to send a thank you card to people who just go to the wedding. The reception is the thank you to the wedding guests.

achiduck · January 2012

I've never really factored that into my gift giving. But I've also never had to drive more then 90 minutes for a wedding.

Maybe if I had to fly there or something I'd consider it.

MattsPenguin · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-oot-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4063edb9-f84d-4078-a443-ffdb9ea7c82dPost:e4a4c0ef-0a22-42cd-b710-8dc70595f154">Re: Gift for OOT Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift for OOT Wedding : <strong>I've never been to one that wasn't out of state either. </strong>Anyway, like pp said, give what you can afford. If you really can't afford a gift after paying to travel then I'd at least bring a card.
Posted by annakb8[/QUOTE]

Ditto. Guess that what's you get for moving to a totally different region of the country!

amys325 · January 2012

H and I normally have to fly out of state for most of the weddings we attend. We still give the normal gift that we give at a local wedding.

But you just give what you can afford.

divadancer11 · January 2012

Damn I should have been more clear, this isnt me asking as I always give a gift however this is what one of my out of state relatives had stated about coming to our wedding this year. I had never heard of this and I have been to DW's and never thought "well since I am paying to get there you wont get a gift from me".

I understand that people can only afford what they can however when it comes from relatives that are well off I just wasnt expecting a comment like that.

LittleMissCutiePie · January 2012

Well, it's super rude of them to say "you won't get a gift". WTH?

annakb8 · January 2012

Well there is no rule saying you don't have to give a gift it you travel and I think it's pretty rude of your relatives to mention it.

dumdumfroggie · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-oot-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4063edb9-f84d-4078-a443-ffdb9ea7c82dPost:41ea9880-2220-45c9-902c-f070eac0fa4b">Re: Gift for OOT Wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Damn I should have been more clear, this isnt me asking as I always give a gift however this is what one of my out of state relatives had stated about coming to our wedding this year. I had never heard of this and I have been to DW's and never thought <strong>"well since I am paying to get there you wont get a gift from me</strong>". I understand that people can only afford what they can however when it comes from relatives that are well off I just wasnt expecting a comment like that.
Posted by divadancer11[/QUOTE]

<div>This is very rude.</div><div>
</div><div>However, in answer to your original question. I just give what I can afford at the time. Unfortunately, to some weddings I have had to travel to, the gift is lesser than local weddings, but that's just because after travel expenses I sometimes can't afford to give more.</div>

jemmini6 · January 2012

It's rude for someone to flat out tell you that, but it's not rude for them to not get you a gift, since gifts are never required, travel or no.

I've only attended one OOT wedding as an adult, and we did slightly factor in our travel expenses to the amount of the gift we got them. It wasn't because 'our presence was their gift' or anything like that, but they got married on a holiday weekend in which airfare and hotels were a little pricier than we had budgeted for their wedding, so we just could afford to give as much as we originally planned. (they also had a very short engagment, so it wasn't like we had a lot of notice to plan ahead or save).

MattsPenguin · January 2012

Ditto what PP's said. While gifts are required, it's rude to point out that they won't give you gift because they have to travel. It's their prerogative to not give a gift. I'm sure you'd rather have your family/friends there than have gifts. But still pointing it out is rather rude.

I feel like their declaration was followed with a huffy "Hrmphf".

divadancer11 · January 2012

Love you ladies......now I dont feel like im an azz. Yes, I would love for all of my family to be there and we are not having a wedding to make money. Well all I can say is that type of comment holds up to her lovely reputation

Gift for OOT Wedding

Re: Gift for OOT Wedding

Choose Another Board

Search Boards