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Should my 10 year old cousin be a jr bridesmaid, ring bearer or flower girl?

sarahroslanskysarahroslansky member
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
So I have three little cousins (they're all siblings) who I want to involve in my wedding. The youngest is a 6 year old girl who I'm planning to ask to be a flower girl. The eldest is a 10 year old girl (I think she'll be around 11 at the wedding). Their brother is around 8 and has Downs Syndrome, and I was going to have him be a ring bearer. The thing is, he's a really energetic and sometimes unpredictable little guy, and there is some worry about him running off in the wrong direction during the ceremony or something. So I can't decide whether to have the eldest sister be a second ring bearer with him, so that they're walking together, or have her be a junior bridesmaid and go just ahead of him, or to have her be a second flower girl who walks just behind him. Thoughts/ideas?
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Re: Should my 10 year old cousin be a jr bridesmaid, ring bearer or flower girl?

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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    At 11, I'd call her a bridesmaid. She could still walk her little brother down the aisle if he is feeling rambunctious. It would be a good idea to have a parent seated along the aisle, just in case he needs to settle in with an adult for the ceremony.
                       
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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    I would ask her what she prefers to do. She might feel too old to be a flower girl or uncomfortable as a ring bearer. She also might not like the title " junior" tacked on to bridesmaid. As for your male cousin, I would talk to your aunt or uncle. Does his sister usually help him? If not, then having her walk with him or near him won't change anything.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I would talk to the parents on what they think would be best for their son. They really know his tendencies and will know best how to incorporate him into your day so that he will be most comfortable and that your other cousin will feel comfortable also.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I think at 11, she's too old to be a flower girl.  You can ask her if she'd prefer junior bridesmaid.

    As for the brother, I agree that you should inquire of the parents what their son can handle and how he can best be prepared for it.
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_should-my-10-year-old-cousin-be-a-jr-bridesmaid-ring-bearer-or-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:e664b48e-3f5b-4a05-9127-25305d3de60ePost:64d2e3ed-d9ab-4fb1-8d5c-39b7959ab824">Re: Should my 10 year old cousin be a jr bridesmaid, ring bearer or flower girl?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<font color="#0000FF"><strong>At 11, I'd call her a bridesmaid.</strong></font> She could still walk her little brother down the aisle if he is feeling rambunctious. It would be a good idea to have a parent seated along the aisle, just in case he needs to settle in with an adult for the ceremony.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    I'd say she should either be a bridesmaid or a guest.
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    jackiebrimjackiebrim member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    When I was 10, I was a junior bridesmaid in my aunt's wedding. I was going to ask my 10 year old cousin to be a junior bridesmaid, but I heard through the grapevine that she was hoping I would ask her to be my flowergirl. It didn't matter to me, as the only other young girl in the family is too young. I'd say ask her what she'd prefer.
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