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Tipping the Rabbi

IG.museIG.muse
100 Comments
in Jewish Weddings
I know this has been asked before, but it seems like every situation is different.

We hired a Rabbi who is not affiliated with a synagogue. He charges an "honorarium" of $600. We met with him initially briefly just to decide if we want to hire him. Then we met with him for maybe 20 minutes when we showed him our ceremony draft. He will be preset at the rehearsal, which we don't expect to take long. And then of course he will perform the ceremony, which we expect to take about 20 minutes. We've decided not to do a Ketubah (FI is not Jewish).

We invited the Rabbi and his wife to the reception but they declined the invitation. 

So based on all that, are we expected to tip him like we would tip another vendor? Not to trivialize his importance, but he is the most highly paid vendor (per hour) that we have and 100% of his fee goes to him. I don't want to seem cheap, but I don't know if a tip is really a good idea in this case. Should we get him a box of chocolates or a CD or something, or is his payment and a thank you note sufficient?
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Re: Tipping the Rabbi

  • RachiemooRachiemoo member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    No, I would not give him a tip.  His payment and a thank you card is plenty sufficient imo.
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  • goldgoldgoldgold
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If anything you could make a donation to something he is affiliated with or something in the Jewish theme (ie. Magan David Adom)
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  • silversparkssilversparks member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you have to tip your rabbi. You hired him essentially as a vendor, and from your description, it doesn't sound like he's done anything above and beyond the basic services you contracted for. Generally I think it's nice to give your officiant a tip - either a small gift or make a donation in his/her honour - if you have developed a relationship with him or her, they've spent time helping you work through some details, etc but this doesn't sound like it's the case here.
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  • IG.museIG.muse
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, ladies. Glad to know I'm not off base on this. We'll just write him a thank you card.
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  • slbriz34slbriz34
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just as the prevailng view is that you don't tip an owner providing services, he is in charge of his own "officiant" services, if you will, and while $600 isn't a lot, there are other rabbis that charge less.  Unless he does an amazing job the day of and you want to kick him 5-10%, I say no.  Thank you card is great.
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  • Musicheals71Musicheals71 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Definitely NOT tipping the rabbi. I will, however, invite him and his wife to the reception.
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