Is being this obsessed so normal?

spaje · February 2010

I've just gotten engaged about a month ago. Dates have been tentatively set for July 2011. This is not my first marriage. But it is my first wedding (my last was more of an elopement...) and his first of both. So I'm pretty set on doing it rather "right" this time. The whole wedding,and reception thing... Now I know it's normal to be excited about these things, I sort of feel like I'm being obsessed w/it. It's all I ever talk about, think about and wonder about... all the little details, how to plan the budget, Heck, even the guest list and numbers have already been done in a sense... just so we could speak to vendors and venues w/ some sort of an idea... (and all it is is ideas at this point)....and I'm so afraid of turning into bridezilla...anyone else going through something like this... planning is sort of fun, but when does the obsession with it calm down?

kdqueen16 · February 2010

I would say you are completely normal! It is a normal thing for every bride to be excited for her wedding! Especially when the engagement was not so long ago! This is a time for you to have fun and plan things! It is every woman's dream! I would say you have absolutely nothing to worry about unless you become so obsessed that it is hurting the relationship you have with your fiance. Have fun and pace yourself with the planning! You want the fun to last else the time will pass slowly!

AmoroAgain · February 2010

Just read the Newbies post. It's normal, but definitely don't let it take over your life!

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

Yes, it's totally normal. I was wedding obsessed for about 3 months after we got engaged.

Just pace yourself. You will get burnt out, and that's normal too.

Also, don't drive your friends nuts. They will be excited for you for a minute, and then obsessing over a party a year in advance is going to start to seem nutty to them. When you want to talk about colors and venues and all the little details, bring it here. There are people here that will get excited with you and won't get annoyed that you are focused on it.

spaje · February 2010

Thanks guys. I guess it's alot like wanting to know "when will my first born sleep through the night" I guess it'll be somewhat obsessive the first few mos. alot of planning will take place (no contract signing), and then I'll start to chill. Sort of like going to work... alot of work gets done in the morning, and then the afternoon is like blah...That's good to know. The good thing is, is I've got time on my side. and it's great to know I can bring the thoughts someplace else... so my friends and family and especially my fiance won't go nutzo. (He's being wonderful about this whole thing... and not being an absentee groom. He wants to help in the planning, but he's not so obsessive over it -- yet... AND I LOVE IT! He's kept me in check a few times. "keep it at no more than 100" when it came to the guest list...and he's right!)

mwillsap · February 2010

I would say the obsession thing goes away after 6 months of being engaged.

spaje · February 2010

Right now, I'm obsessed w/ finding a Venue.... something nice, but rather inexpensive... our area is hard to find that. But just depends on where you look. An hour and 1/2 away from Aspen - That end of the "valley" gets really expensive, and then 1 hr. a way from Grand Junction and you get decently priced, but wondering if famliy is willing to make the 5 - 6 hour drive.... We'll figure it out. Then there's the transport issue w/ my sister doing the cake. Man, it seems as though it'll never end. But anything worth having is worth the wait and obsessing, and HE is so worth it. thank God I don't have an absentee groom!

theowls_arenot_whattheyseem · February 2010

I've only been engaged four months, and my finace is a Marine and can't help at all, but I'm obsessed! Our engagement is secret, but I'm constantly looking at wedding books and wedding websites, trying to get ideas! If anything, I'm as obsessed with my wedding as freaked out about going to college.

amagwire · February 2010

Sounds like a pretty normal reaction to me. Since your wedding is 16 months away you have plenty of time to plan, so don't rush anything! I felt similarly when I was first engaged - it's all I could think about for a few weeks. Just about all my planning was taken care of in about two months, so don't rush anything. I feel like I hardly have anything to do, and it sounds like you want to really enjoy the planning process. Don't obsess over everything and realized that not everything will be perfect for one reason or another!

goheels05 · February 2010

Fairly normal. Try to use the boards as your outlet so as not to scare off your real-life friends. They tend to not care as much about wedding details as we do.

spaje · February 2010

Not trying to be offensive when mentioning the absentee groom. There are some situations where a groom just can't help it... such as the gal above who wrote hers was away military wise. what I'm talking about are the ones who, by choice, are "just tell me what to wear and when to show up" and that's all they want with it. I'm grateful mine's not like that.... although some brides,might prefer it that way..LOL

dsouldiva · February 2010

In a word...Yes! or else the Knot would not exist!

The obsession stops when the problems start and then you'll be very "over it!" the best advice I can offer is just to try and remember what is really important to you both, there's a lot of people who stress over matching shoes for the BD, MOB/MOG outfits, centre pieces etc, save yourself the hassle and let the more trivial things just go over your head,

rbtrumpet · February 2010

[QUOTE]I would say the obsession thing goes away after 6 months of being engaged.
Posted by mwillsap[/QUOTE]

haha - crap! I'm only engagd for 7 months, which means the obsession will not end!

I don't know - I'm trying very hard right now to have normal conversations with people, but I feel like everyone keeps asking ME about wedding stuff, so really it's the only thing I talk about! (although I'm not complaining just yet)

EStar73 · February 2010

Totally normal. I found a few things that I could do early, like booking a venue and photographer and that helped me calm down a bit.

spaje · February 2010

EStar, that's exactly what I'm doing. Looking at Venues - pricing them, we just started pricing photographers, and even the caterers. Being that it's gonna be a Lutheran service, his church requres a pre marriage counseling session. so we're trying to do that - just to get it out of the way. Anything that doesn't cost money or require a contract to be signed... can pretty much be worked on. The dress... well I did go in and try a bunch on - and found a few I liked. but I'm waiting for a bit longer before making the final decision on that... as new ones will come out this spring/summer. Thanks!

spaje · February 2010

hlock you are where I was a week before posting. and now that it's had time to settle in, the obsession is definitely calming. I still do think about it alot, but real life no longer is considered the interuption between making plans. Although it helps that I'm finding one or two things at a time to work on it. I can say get yourself a note book, keep it by the bed... so if you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night with a flood of ideas (like I did a few times) you can write em down and go back to sleep. It's such an exciting time, especially when family is being supportive.

Is being this obsessed so normal?

Re: Is being this obsessed so normal?

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