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Wedding Recap and Withdrawal

To destination wedding or not

Hi Former Brides,
   My fiance and I are currently trying to decide if we want to do a destination wedding or not.  He comes from a VERY large family, and I really would like to keep it small and intimate.  He has wanted to do a destination wedding since we starting thinking about planning in Aruba.  I like aspects of both; I like the idea of keeping it small and intimate in Aruba and a week long wedding celebration for everyone.  However, I also like the idea of a traditional wedding.  I want it to be very classy, but I also dont want to break the bank.  Not sure which route is more economical.  I'm worried that a destination wedding would be difficult to plan, relying solely on the resort wedding planner.  We would pay the way of siblings and parents.  Thoughts, suggestions? 

Re: To destination wedding or not

  • Lenore2010Lenore2010 member
    1000 Comments
    edited April 2012
    We had a DW. I just wanted to add that if you decide this is the best option for you, don't be guilted out of it. Some feel DW's are a criminal offense. Just remember, you will never choose wedding options that make everyone 100% happy.
  • edited April 2012
    In Response to To destination wedding or not:
    [QUOTE]Hi Former Brides,    My fiance and I are currently trying to decide if we want to do a destination wedding or not.  He comes from a VERY large family, and I really would like to keep it small and intimate.  He has wanted to do a destination wedding since we starting thinking about planning in Aruba.  I like aspects of both; I like the idea of keeping it small and intimate in Aruba and a week long wedding celebration for everyone.  However, I also like the idea of a traditional wedding.  I want it to be very classy, but I also dont want to break the bank.  Not sure which route is more economical.  I'm worried that a destination wedding would be difficult to plan, relying solely on the resort wedding planner.  We would pay the way of siblings and parents.  Thoughts, suggestions? 
    Posted by kellybsoontobec[/QUOTE]

    I'm assuming you mean people can vacation in Aruba after your wedding. JIC you meant you will have a week of wedding events planned for the guests---that is complete overkill.

    We're having a DW, and although it is hard to stomach that a lot of our closest friends and family cannot come, it is worth it. We fell in love with the idea of a DW after seeing a beach wedding on vacation. We are both so excited to get married on a beautiful beach with an outdoor reception overlooking the ocean. It so beats a hotel ballroom IMO.

    Make sure you and your FI weigh the pros and cons before deciding. Good luck!

    ETA: If you do choose a DW, try your hardest to go with an all-inclusive package. We decided to rent a beach house and get a wedding coordinator. We have spent WAY more money than we anticipated because every single thing has to be rented/purchased now. Just some advice!
    5/27/12
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  • I'm doing a Vegas wedding. I wanted a small wedding and I figured that having a destination wedding would cut the guest list back substantially and really make it more exclusive. The cost of our destination wedding is much lower than it would have been had we done the hometown wedding. And do I really want everyone at such a private event, no. The people I want there want to be there, and will be there. It feels so amazing. However, Vegas is a 10 hour drive, or a 1.5 hour flight from us in Sacramento, and wouldn't cost our guests too much to get there. How much is the flight to Aruba? 500 Per person? And how much is a week at the resort? 800 per person? I dont know a single person in my family that could afford it.
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  • Also make sure that everyone you really want there has a passport...it can take months to get one and it would suck if someone couldn't come because their paperwork doesn't go through in time.


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  • I agree that a week of pre wedding stuff  is overkill. A few days at most works, I would think. We did a welcome dinner in our suite the night beofre the wedding. I also think a week of pre-wedding events could lead to a lot of stress for the bride (and possibly the groom, but the bride is usually the most stressed).
  • If you are worried about some of the people not being able to afford it, or not being able to fly, what about a 'DW' within say a four hour drive? Like at a vineyard or mountain resort?
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