FI is talking "honeymoon babies." Need advice.

charbakes · October 2012

We're getting married the 18th, and will be honeymooning for a week in Bora Bora. I'm excited. It's going to be awesome.

However, recently I noticed that one of my Depo shots is during the week of the honeymoon, right smack dab in the middle of it. My gynos office is closed now, so I can't call, but I told my FI about it, since I was kind of freaking out about it.

His response was really surprising. He basically said "Well, you probably wouldn't get pregnant anyway, and if we come back with a honeymoon baby it'll be a happy accident."

Kids are great. I love kids. I'd like kids. But not now. Definitely not now. And my FI knows this- we've talked about kids and agreed that we'd wait at least 5 years before trying. We talked about it and he still insists on the 5 years before trying thing, but now he's saying that an unexpected pregnancy would be an okay thing to happen. Now he's saying "happy accident" a lot and is saying that I should just chill about the Depo.

I'm confused on a lot of levels. First of all, what about my shot? Would it be okay to just get it before the wedding? I don't want to use condoms, but I don't want to mess up my hormones either. Second of all, what's up with my FI? Has he changed his mind? Should I talk to him more about it? Whenever I do it doesn't go anywhere. Am I overreacting?

vchan4 · October 2012

Is there any way to stagger your shots somehow so you take it before or after the honeymoon? You have 13 weeks between shots so I don't know if you could get your next one earlier, thus pushing the shot after earlier. I would see what your OBGYN says when the office is open.

beckyh77 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_fi-is-talking-honeymoon-babies-need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:e65c31a6-35b1-4b98-920a-234d745a30c6Post:a286ff1b-a666-45ca-a7a7-b327060bc859">Re:FI is talking quot;honeymoon babies.quot; Need advice.</a>:
[QUOTE]Is there any way to stagger your shots somehow so you take it before or after the honeymoon? You have 13 weeks between shots so I don't know if you could get your next one earlier, thus pushing the shot after earlier. I would see what your OBGYN says when the office is open.
Posted by vchan4[/QUOTE]

This. Also, maybe he is trying to not make you stress over the Depo timing?

If I remember correctly I counted out my weeks on the pill and should get my period the week or two prior to the wedding so I should be good.

Sharpschruter22 · October 2012

I was on Depo for two years. The last time I had a shot was December of last year. I haven't had a period since. It takes your body a loooong time to come off of Depo and while everyone is different, the chances of you getting pregnant are super minimal. It can take up to 2 years to be able to get pregnant after continued use of Depo, that's why I stopped it last spring. Having said that, you can get the Depo a week earlier than you are scheduled. It's not a big deal, just call your gyno and reschedule.

melb2013 · October 2012

I'd talk to your gyno about staggering the shots. I know people who have gotten pregnant very quickly after the shot. Have you considered using something non-hormonal like a diaphram just for the honeymoon if you can't stagger the shots? That's what I use and it's apparently what my mother always used and we've never had a problem.

I think you and your FI need to talk this out. TIming of having kids is something you should be on the same page about.

SSaltzman87 · October 2012

Yeah, I'd talk to your OBGYN too. I'd also talk to your FI about the whole baby thing too, that's definitely one thing you wanna be on the same page about.

TogetherPerfect · October 2012

I agree with talking to your gyno. As for your FI, I am finding that there are actually a lot of men that get "baby fever" too, BUT, they usually forget how much work it is and how much you have to sacrifice and change when you have a child. I would definitely talk to him and remind him that you want to wait and let him know you are going to talk to your gyno about it. Maybe remind him of how much work it is as well. lol This is what I have to do with my FI. He thinks he'll be okay if we get pregnant on the HM, but I always say something like "Ya know how we just decide to up and go to dinner and a movie one night? It won't be that easy with a baby", or "you know how we have those nights where we just want to lay on the couch and watch TV? That's a little harder with a baby" type things. Good luck!

shano06 · October 2012

I'm on Depo now, and my shot was due one day when I was out of town. I get mine every 12 werks to the day. My gyno said as long as it's between 1113weeks it still works. So you could definitely get it before the wedding. As far as FI, you should definitely talk to him and tell him you're not ready right now. It's better to have planned a baby than to have a 'happy accident. Trust me. He'll be on your side.