Plus-Sized

The most photographed day of your life

How are you/did you accept not being "perfect" on the most photographed day of your life?  Despite intentions to lose weight I've actually gained since I bought my dress.  I'm just super frustrated with myself.  I know I need to move from the anger to acceptance, but I'm having trouble getting there.  I know I have some time left, but really if it hasn't happened yet I need to be realistic about what to expect in the next couple of months.Thanks.
We Do - Since November 3, 2012
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Re: The most photographed day of your life

  • Laurstar31Laurstar31 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited July 2012
    I think about this at least 3x a day... My goal was to lose weight for my wedding and I did not. I recently spoke with an old classmate who is plus sized and just got married. She told me that she was self conscience a few weeks before her wedding but she got amazing advice... Someone told her " your fiance loves you the way you are now, he proposed to you because he loves you, not because of how skinny you are." This made me feel better and I hope it does the same for you! You are going to be a beautiful bride wether your size 2 or size 20. No worries :)
  • I have just over two months left.  I bought my dress the size I was... so, I am not worried about fitting into my dress... but, I was planning on losing at least 10 pounds, but, hopefully, 20.  I don't suspect that is going to happen in 2 months, and I am regretting every single thing I've put in my mouth over the past two months.

    I'm trying not to worry about it... but, yes, I think about it very often.
  • idk.. i just stopped caring. i figured he loves me the way i am. i don't want to kill myself just to lose maybe a dress size.
  • Although I will not be a size 6 on my wedding day, I will be/feel perfect!!!!  Our size is not what will make us "perfect" in our photographs on our wedding day.  Our confidence, glow, happiness, and how beautiful we feel is what will make us perfect. 

    I have seen many pictures of plus size and thinner brides that are absolutely beautiful, and some of each that were not so much..... their "bridezilla attitude is what made them look "not perfect".... not thier size. 

  • I thought about the weight lost thing but decided to just maintain. I bought my dress a half a size larger (was in between sizes) and they had to alter it down to my current size. If I had lost a lot of weight, I would have had to purchase another dress. It to my dress 9 months to come in and 3 months to alter with alteration appointments once a month. My dress fits perfect and I cannot wait to  be photographed. Smile
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  • edited July 2012
    I think about this a least 100 times a day, most of the time it is with dread, some of the time it is with excitement and acceptance....I'm counting on the latter winning out the closer I get.
     I have until April, but like you said - if it hasn't happend yet I need to be realistic of what I can pull off by then.   I'm not just plus sized anymore, I'm pretty huge, but I know my man loves me and thinks I'm pretty damn hot ;) so I try to focus on that.
     My goal is to just tone up my arms and trim my stomach/waist, not major weightloss (since I'll have to find a dress soon I realize I and can't say 'well I lost 80 lbs so lets go find a dress!' 3 days before the wedding!) and I *feel* much better/happier/excited without the weightloss monkey on my back,
    I will be splurging on a great photographer, professional makeup application, and any and all beauty treatments to make me feel pretty.  :) I know that glow comes from the inside, but a little help doesn't hurt!
  • Something that ive realized over the last year is that I needed to accept the body that I've got. There are some crazy statistics out there all basically stating that the weight you lose, isnt going to stay off for any longer than a year. Thats for roughly 95% of people. That everyone. My FI loves me for who I am. Jiggly tummy and thunder thighs and all. Being fat isnt the worst thing in the world. 
    Dont get me wrong there are still things i struggle with accepting like my enormous arms that just run in the family (yeah even my 5ft 100lb grandma has really fat arms...) But im going to work with it. I figure if i tell the photographer what to avoid and what to make look good he will. 
    Otherwise Those photos are to remind you of how happy you were that day. Just make sure that shines thru and youre golden. :)
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  • As someone that has been married before, let me offer my experience. 

    Before my wedding, I worked my butt off.  Quite literally.  I lost about 45 pounds between propsal and wedding day.  And I felt GORGEOUS.  I felt so great that I spent more money than I had initially budgeted on things like hair and makeup and pampering myself the week before the wedding. On my wedding day, I felt like a goddess.  I felt gorgeous and sophisticated and lovely.  All the things a bride wants to feel. 

    When I got my pictures back, I was so thrilled. I looked as great as I felt. I immediately framed photos, showed them off to everyone.  It was so exciting.  

    And then the weight started coming back.  Because I had literally been starving myself to look "beautiful" for my wedding.  I was eating 1,000 calories or less a day and working out a minimum of 90 minutes. I had thrown off my metabolism so badly that the weight was back within six months of going back to my standard 2,000 a day calorie intake and 45 minutes three times a week working out.  Every last pound. Plus 10.  

    Now I hate the photographs from the wedding.  I am still incredibly close with my ex-husband.  He is my best friend.  And there are some lovely photos of the two of us and our son at our wedding and the events around our wedding.  But every time I look at them, I absolutely hate how I look.  Because it makes me feel bad about who I am now.  I don't look like that.  That's not *me*.  

    So, I guess my point is that it is very simliar to the idea of women growing out their hair for their wedding.  If you are normally a woman that wears shorter hair styles, why would you want a hairstyle that is not you at all? Just because there are going to be photos and you want to look like what everyone expects a bride to look like? If you are a curvy/zaftig/fat woman, why would you want to look like someone else?

    My advice?  Put the extra money into your budget to pamper yourself before your wedding.  Get a massage. Get a manicure and pedicure. Invest in a great makeup artist who knows how you want to look (because again, you don't want to look like a pin-up bombshell if you're more of an earth mother type?) Pamper yourself so that you FEEL great. Feeling great will help you look great. 

    But most importantly - Be you! Love you in the same way that your fiance loves you! Embrace your curviness!  Try to see yourself in the same way that s/he sees you!
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