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What options are there for bridesmaids that don't want to wear a dress?

I have two lovely ladies in my wedding party.  My sister is the maid of honor and good friend is a bridesmaid... they stylistically could not be farther apart.  My sis is a tomboy and doesn't really do dresses.  My friend is very girly.  My colors are saphire blue and gray.  Anyone have ideas????

Re: What options are there for bridesmaids that don't want to wear a dress?

  • Did they flat out tell you they didn't want to wear the dress?  If I agreed to be in a BP I would assume I'm getting a dress, so if they haven't said they refuse then I would just start talking about dresses and see how it goes.  If not, it really depends on the formality of the wedding.
  • edited August 2012
    If it were me, I'd ask them to either wear the dress or match the groomsmen. I like when things look coordinated. 

    Edited: if there are no other bridsemaids, then it doesn't matter what they wear. You could find a not super girly dress or something. The above advice was if you had several bridesmads in one style of dress and a few girls who didn't like dresses.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-options-are-there-for-bridesmaids-that-dont-want-to-wear-a-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:028bb6ec-ee64-40ff-88e3-9e633ce4149dPost:b9c5fbb3-ad2d-4972-9106-707772e824c4">Re: What options are there for bridesmaids that don't want to wear a dress?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If it were me, I'd ask them to either wear the dress or match the groomsmen. I like when things look coordinated.  Edited: if there are no other bridsemaids, then it doesn't matter what they wear. You could find a not super girly dress or something. The above advice was if you had several bridesmads in one style of dress and a few girls who didn't like dresses.
    Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

    So because someone doesn't want to wear a dress she should wear a tux or suit???  There are a number of beautiful pants suits that would co-ordinate with the BM dresses.
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  • They could wear separates, such as a nice gray pencil skirt and a blue blouse. It doesn't need to be a taffeta dress with ruffles, lace overlay & flowers.

    However, if you do have your heart set on a certain bridesmaid dress, just ask your sister if it is in her price range and if she would consider wearing it...NBD....
  • Agree with pp's about having a heart to heart and not making an assumption that the tomboy wouldn't wear a dress for the wedding.  She might be more open than you think, especially if you're flexible about letting her wear a style and length that she is more comfortable with and sticking to her price range.  If she's truly uncomfortable wearing a dress or skirt, there are definitely options where she could wear perhaps gray slacks and a sapphire blue blouse or a fancy sapphire blue pants suit.
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  • Just take them shopping, either separately or together, and see what they like.  Perhaps you could find a salon that also has MOB outfits in stock, as they usually have a lot of really good pantsuit options.  Ditto PP that with only two attendants, you have a ton of flexibility.
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I would talk to your sister.  My MOH is also a tomboy, but she is wearing a dress and fully expected it.  Sure, she would never wear a dress in everyday life, but she realizes this is a formal event and that it won't kill her to wear a dress for 6 or so hours. 
  • I wore a pantsuit for my brother's wedding as a BM at that time.  Omg horrible.  My SIL's rationale was much the same "well my MOH is a tomboy and she hates dresses and is not comfortable in one" aka, therefore we all suffer. 

    My MOH now is a complete tomboy, but she assumed there would be a dress.  She preferred it long versus short, which it was going to be long anyway, and we had some problems finding her a plus sized gown she liked.  But she found one that she picked out. 

    I don't know, I think most people assume they are wearing a dress if they are a bridesmaid to be honest. 
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    You seriously can't ask your sister what she would most be comfortable wearing on your wedding day?  This is your sister not a complete stranger.  I am sure you being "So sis, would you be up to wearing a dress at the wedding?" would suffice. 

    If she doesn't want to wear a dress then there are plenty of options out there that would coordinate with the other BMs dress.  If she is up for wearing a dress then when you go shopping make sure that whatever dress is picked is something she feels comfortable in.


  • I applaud you for wanting your sister to be comfortable and respecting that she's a tomboy.  

    But I do agree with others.  Chat with her about what she's most comfortable wearing.  My sister can be quite a tomboy, but is wearing a dress for my wedding.  
  • There are a few different options. My MOH / best friend is a lesbian, and she will be wearing a tux. I know she isn't comfortable in a dress and I don't expect her to wear one. I want all of my girls to wear something that makes them feel good. Another option is a variation of the guys options, such as similar dress pants and either a blouse (in your colors) or button down shirt. With or without a tie depending on what you both like. Just remember, if they don't feel comfortable they won't have a good time! So make sure you have that talk with her. Your sister will be putting a lot of time, effort and money into your day so you want to show how thankful you are by making sure she has a great day too :)
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  • I agree with the others, don't make assumptions, ask her!  You might be surprised

    Also, speaking as a religious pant-wearer, my sister was very gracious and let me pick whatever style I wanted for the wedding.  I compromised for her by getting a ldress, but didn't get a short one like she originally wanted (I'm very self-concious about my legs as I'm mutant-level pale).

    Everyone was happy, and thank god I didn't get a short skirt, because it was cold!
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  • I would think that if its a huge problem you really want a dress she doesnt. I would ask her to wear the dress the few hours it takes for pictures and the cermoney then change. Let her know she will have to take care of both the dress and the change of cloths by buying them. This way you get your matching brides maids in the cermoney and pictures and she wont have to wear the dress all day. You both are happy and things are fine. 
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