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Why is hosting own bachelorette considered tacky?

tmarie782tmarie782 member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
Why is hosting your own bachelorette party tacky? How does it differ from inviting people to your birthday party?

I am not having a wedding party, I do not have a MOH. None of my friends have offered to throw a bachelorette, but they keep asking me what I'm doing for it.
 
Do I tell them it's tacky for me to throw one for myself or does that imply that I expect them to throw it for me?
 
How do I respond when my friends ask me what I'm going for my bachelorette and give me ideas if it's tacky to for me to plan it myself?
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Re: Why is hosting own bachelorette considered tacky?

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    tmarie782tmarie782 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok I get that, but if nobody else realized that then how do I respond when they ask me what I'm doing for my bachelorette? If I say "I'm not supposed to throw it" doesn't that kind of put the pressure on them to do it? Wouldn't that be rude? As i mentioned, I do not have a MOH or bridesmaids. People are expecting me to throw my own bachelorette and invite THEM.
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    covejackcovejack
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    edited December 2011
    Just say that you haven't heard of any plans being made for a bachelorette.  If you're further pressed just tell the truth and say that you'd feel rude holding a party in your own honour.
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    Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_hosting-own-bachelorette-considered-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ad6788e-e7f1-416a-8c42-9ae270611ce4Post:4b3a724a-9ae8-495f-a8bf-a661db3bcb98">Re: Why is hosting own bachelorette considered tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just say that you haven't heard of any plans being made for a bachelorette.  If you're further pressed just tell the truth and say that you'd feel rude holding a party in your own honour.
    Posted by covejack[/QUOTE]

    This, And if they really want you to have a b-party and you tell them this, perhaps one of them would offer to throw it for you. Don't expect that, but it could happen. Perhaps they are assuming someone is already throwing one for you and are unaware no one has offered.


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    Matty143Matty143
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_hosting-own-bachelorette-considered-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7ad6788e-e7f1-416a-8c42-9ae270611ce4Post:4b3a724a-9ae8-495f-a8bf-a661db3bcb98">Re: Why is hosting own bachelorette considered tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just say that you haven't heard of any plans being made for a bachelorette.  If you're further pressed just tell the truth and say that you'd feel rude holding a party in your own honour.
    Posted by covejack[/QUOTE]

    This, 100%
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    goobersinlovegoobersinlove member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you really want one, and no one offers to throw it for you, then you can simply have a night out on the town with your girlfriends and don't label it a bachelorette party. Pay for your own stuff, don't expect any gifts, special treatment, etc. Just go out with your friends if you are so inclined - no big deal.

    I don't have any bridesmaids/MOH either, so I'm not expecting any of my friends to throw one for me. [[However, I'm in a different boat. One of the many reasons I decided not to have a WP was to avoid a bachelorette party.]]
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    tmarie782tmarie782 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, I wouldn't expect or want anyone to pay for the bachelorette. I was thinking of using my own money to rent a limo and pay for most of it, I just want to call it a bachelorette so I don't feel like I'm missing out on something I really want to sat I was able to have when I look back at the wedding process. Does that change anything? I can't pay for my party and just invite people to share the experience with a silly title that means nothing but I want anyway?
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    mpinompino member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sure I will get hounded for this one, but i am throwing my own bachelorette party.  I am doing this because of one major reason- my bridal party can't seem to get it together.  And when I say "get it together" I mean work together on anything.  The planning of my bridal shower was a disaster, they fought the entire time, called each other names, couldn't decide on anything..etc Unfortunately I heard about every detail and it just made me more and more mad.  Not to mention I lieterally told them pretty much what I wanted (something simple, make food, don't spend a lot of money..et because I know they don't have a lot of money and my guest list is very large) When the subject of the bachelorette party came up, I said just a fun girls night, no strip clubs.  Well soon after the fighting between all of them ensued, this one wanted a stripper, this one wanted to go here, this one wanted to go there..etc.  So I pretty much told them all, they need to get it together for one event for me.  If you all care about me and want to be there for me you should be able to get along to plan one freaking night. Well that didn't work, fighting still ensued they couldn't make a decision..etc SO I planned my own, something I want to do, going to the beach for the weekend.  No other plans, just hanging out maybe dinner..if they want to come great if not oh well. I just want a fun relaxing weekend before I get married.  And they are still arguing about it.  I give up.
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    slynn85slynn85
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I dont get the whole  thing. I agree with you..who really cares. If you know your group isnt a formal bunch, then by all means tell your girlfriends you want a gilrs party before the wedding and tell them,...you dont want gifts, you just want a night with your friends. I am a little sad I dont get anything either. Im not a brat I dont want gifts...it's the point that no one seems to care about me *tear** ha oh well....anywho I think some brides are very formal and live in a different world than others.  (not that Im bashing that) But imo there is absolutely notthing wrong with that. Who cares what you call it...you know your family and friends better than anyone here... HAVE FUN!!! Smile
     
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Following etiquette isn't about being formal. It's about treating others well.  You can be as informal as you'd like but that never gives license to dictate to others what you're wanting.
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