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Confused

Iceqween413Iceqween413
in Military Brides
Ok so im new to blogging and theknot community.  Anyways, my fiance and i are both in the air force.  i am from pittsburgh, pa and he is from dallas, tx.  Neither of our families can afford a big "to-do" wedding and we dont want one.  What we want is simple, romantic and cheap. 
Obviously the first dilema is that we are from diferent sides of the country so we can't have both families.  We are now stuck between having the wedding in pittsburgh with my family with a justice of the peace or just "eloping" so to say to the bahamas and having it on the beach by ourselves. 
I would love to have the wedding in pittsburgh with my family but am nervous because my parents are alcoholics and my family is kind of crazy.  I think im scared that they might mess it up.  but on the other hand if i have it up there my family could be with me and support me and my dad can five me away.
My fiance is open to either and just wants to say "i do".  i know it shouldnt be hard to decide but i want it to be right the first time..... please help and give me your thoughts....
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Re: Confused

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    xokristina89xokristina89
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You could invite both sets of families to go with you to the bahamas.. and if they decline then at least it isnt your fault.

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    meltoinemeltoine member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think I feel almost as torn as you do about this!

    On one hand, there is something to be said for the drama-free Bahamian elopement. On the other hand, I feel like weddings are a family affair and yours would be disappointed if they couldn't be there.

    Your profile says you're in Louisiana - what about having it where you live and whomever from each family wants to travel there can, and whomever can't, can't? I feel like LA is far enough away that some of your family won't come, but a fair number still would - that way there is less drunkenness but still family. And, it's easier and cheaper to travel to LA than to the Bahamas. 
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    kaynix21kaynix21 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I voted for Pittsburgh....

    But I would say either do it where you live and invite both sets of families and hope some can make it.

    Or do it where your family lives. I think the "rule" is that the wedding tends to be where the bride is from/lives, etc.

    But if you guys want to make it just the two of you, elope! :)

    With us, we live in Nevada. My family is from Cali and his from South Carolina. We're doing the wedding in Cali where my family is. Some of his family will make it. It was easiest on me to try and plan it this way. I have to ties and love for South Carolina and I didn't want someone else to plan my entire wedding for me.

    So we're doing it at the place I call home.
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    hh581842hh581842 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    well, whatever you do, you're inviting both families right?  It seems like it's your family or nothing.  I don't think it matters much where you do it.  If you do it in Pitt, all of your friends and family will be able to come, and probably his closest friends and family.  In the Bahamas, I would invite all of your guests and see who comes.  My sister did this in Costa Rico, and about 20 guests total came, all of the couple's closest friends and family.  This is a very budget friendly option too--My sister's guest list was over 200, and they knew they couldn't afford that, so they had a destination wedding, and they kept it under $10,000.   If you do it where you live, you have the added benefit of being able to plan it while living there, which makes any appts and the general planning process easier. And again, probably only your closest friends and family from both sides will come, but maybe more so where you live than Bahamas. 

    Personally, if you're going for stress free and simple (and cheap) I like the Bahamas idea :)  Your closest friends and family will most likely still come, so you will be surrounded by the people you both love most  on your day, and it's pretty even for both families. plus, it's the bahamas!!!!  how fun :)
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    hh581842hh581842 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    *Costa Rica lol I can't spell apparently 
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    Future.Mrs.CarterFuture.Mrs.Carter
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Let me tell you from experience that planning a wedding out of state is super stressful. You have normal wedding stress but then you have added stress because you can't be there to make decisions. I had to rely on family to help me find a venue, had to fly in to select Baker and Photographer. I'm going to be selecting an officiant I wont be able to meet with and I'm trying to find kitchen help from opposite coasts. If you can avoid it I recommend not doing a wedding located in a state other than the one you live in.

    If you want to have a small intimate wedding then invite only the most important individuals to a wedding in your town in LA. Some may decline because of the distance and it will also keep you from having to invite acquaintances and third cousins.
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    edueckmanedueckman member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Reason to wear the dress three times!  Go somewhere tropical to officailly tie the knot and then have a small get together with both families...be it together or seperately.
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