Wedding Etiquette Forum

Shower Etiquette

Is it customary to invite pretty much every female on the wedding guest list to your shower???
I have my girlfriends and close family friends, but what about ladies on the groom's side (like say, his dad's friend's wife who I've met several times).
I don't want to insult anyone, but I also don't want it to look like a gift grab!

Thanks!!
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ~Moulin Rouge

Re: Shower Etiquette

  • Ask the host how many people he/she had in mind and go from there.
  • I'm not 100%, but I don't think so...
  • For showers I feel like it should be close family and friends of the bride.  You definitely do not need to ask every woman on your wedding guest list.

    I had 130 guests (about half were women) for our wedding and for my shower I made a list of about 20 women that I wanted to invite.

  • No, you don't need to invite every female.  Definitely ask the person hosting the shower what they had in mind.  My mother, my FMIL, and I went through the list and selected our nearest and dearest to invite, which was about a half to two thirds of the invited women.  I also invited a couple of old friends, one of which had invited me to her wedding shower within the past year and I had sent a gift because I think she's one of those people that doesn't stay in contact very well, but thinks of you as a good friend, and another girl that I thought would be slighted if I invited the wedding shower girl and didn't invite her. 
  • If your host is comfortable with it you could also extend an invite to some of your FILs. You can use it as a chance to socialize before the wedding. 
  • we had one shower.  My MOH and BM "hosted", though my mother decided she wanted to pay for it.  Anywho, they asked me who I wanted to invite.  I stuck to family of both my side and my in-laws (H has a very small family and having been together over 5 years I knew them all well) and my close friends. I did not invite wives or gf's of H's friends.  About 40 people were invited and about 30-35 came.
  • Thank goodness...  my MOH asked me for a list and she and my mom told me to not feel pressured to invite all of the women invited to the wedding.....  which is what his mom said I should do.I ended up going with my close friends and famliy and the closer members of his family (grandmoms, aunts, cousins I have met on several occasions).
    Now I feel better about having stood my ground.
  • Its all on who is throwing the bridal shower-my mom, FMIL, and bridesmaids are throwing mine...my mom is taking care of food, cake, drinks, some of the decorations; FMIL-handling favors, and bridesmaids are handling centerpieces/games/prizes. So I will be inviting about 50 women to my bridal shower, but its a combination from both sides of the family and friends. The only people we didn't invite were my relatives who I knew were travelling from out of state to come to the wedding...we figured they were only going to come once and I didn't want to seem like I was asking for gifts, lol!
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