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Second wedding and no one's excited! Should we elope? HELP!

trishabkirktrishabkirk
First Comment
in Second Weddings
Hi Everyone, 

My fiance and I are engaged after 3+ years together; for 2.5 years we have lived together. Everyone has known we would get married and even his kids (boys, 9 and 4) were not surprised when we announced the engagement. We already feel like a family. My problem now is that no one, even our parents, seems all that excited! Everyone just seems worried we'll throw money down the drain on a wedding, and as they already see us as married, I'm just not getting the celebration vibe I expected. 

We were planning on a small, inexpensive wedding anyway - should we just elope? And/or just throw an informal party instead of a fancy reception? Ideas? 

If we elope, should we have the ceremony filmed so family and friends can watch it later? Just trying not to have any regrets if we skip a wedding ... especially since the kids would miss it, too. 

I welcome any and all ideas! Thank you! :) 
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Re: Second wedding and no one's excited! Should we elope? HELP!

  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment

    The only people who are going to be excited are you and Fi, and that's all that need to be excited.  So if you want a small celebration, with guests etc, you can certainly do that, even if no one else is psyched.  Most likely they will rise to the occasion once you throw the party.

    So my point is, don't elope unless that's what you want to do.   I am against leaving kids out of such an important event.  I think that breeds bad feelings.  ~Donna

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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_second-wedding-and-no-ones-excited-should-we-elope-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:5e98afc9-a339-4ee1-b790-010c28397738Post:287ee997-18a4-4987-9429-617d39a26d29">Re: Second wedding and no one's excited! Should we elope? HELP!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<font color="#0000FF"><strong>The only people who are going to be excited are you and Fi, and that's all that need to be excited.  </strong></font>So if you want a small celebration, with guests etc, you can certainly do that, even if no one else is psyched.  Most likely they will rise to the occasion once you throw the party. <u>So my point is, don't elope unless that's what you want to do</u>.   I am against leaving kids out of such an important event.  I think that breeds bad feelings.  ~Donna
    Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]

    Yup.  What Donna said.
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  • ashumsharveyashumsharvey
    First Comment
    We were very much in the same boat... been living together for over a year, and it won't be the first time for either of us.... We're going to VEGAS! Not only do we not have to stress about throwing a party, we get to have a whole week to spoil and pamper each other. A chance to go away, and come back to the beginning of our new chapter in life. 
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  • mmmendimmmendi
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I will cast my vote - this is your celebration, so celebrate as you see fit. My family was apprehensively excited. They liked him. Thought it was too soon - but knew we were living together and wanted us married (very conservative family). I am blessed at the support and interaction - some financial (Mother paid for and arranged my silks - one sister gave us $ towards a cake, one sister was my MOH paying for her dress and her children were my RB and FG) and very much moral and emotional support. That being said, it isn't like anyone said "oh we are so excited you are marrying!". You need to be realistiic about how others "might" be - and embrace what what you envision to see how close that can be to reality. All that aside -Congratulations!
    ~~Mendi~~ ...Everyone has their price; mine's chocolate Photobucket
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Congratulations!! Welcome to the board!  

    Have the wedding you want and can afford.  When we were first engaged no one was that excited - but the closer we got to our day more enthusiasm was shown.


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  • trishabkirktrishabkirk
    First Comment
    Thank you, everyone. This is great advice and perspective. I appreciate you taking the time to answer me! :) 
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  • MrsH86MrsH86 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Maybe everyone will become more excited once you start planning your event? I am sure that once they are at the actual wedding, and see you in your dress, they will be very happy for you! Sometimes people get caught up in their own lives and dont pay attention to other people's feelings. So you should plan whatever event your have envisioned for your perfect day! Smile
    ~Happy Wife.... Happy Life~
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