Communion

heather.mike · January 2012

I have a friend who's getting married this year and I offered to research a few things for her. One of them is how they should do communion: She grew up Catholic and her fiancé grew up Protestant. They'd like to do communion together, but just the 2 of them (as is traditional in Protestant ceremonies) and not all of the guests. The main question is who can/should serve them communion? Can they simply take it together without an overseeing priest/pastor? Or if they do need a spiritual leader to serve it, who should it be? And do the pieces of communion need to be a certain kind or can it just be any bread and wine? They want to honor and respect both traditions... Advice?

naomikb · January 2012

Is the wedding in a Catholic church or a Protestant church or somewhere else all together? Do they wish to have their wedding "approved" by the Catholic church and/or raise their kids Catholic? At this point I will direct you over to the Catholic board (on the left, under Cultural Wedding Boards) where they have a ton of information for you and can answer all of your specific questions.

They can do communion, but non-Catholic Christians are often not permitted to take communion in Catholic churches.

Communion must be administered by an appropriate person... a city hall official performing a ceremony cannot consecrate the bread/wine. It must be done appropriately by the appropriate person.

Yes, you can have it so that just the bride/groom take communion, and you don't have to file through all of the guests.

In the end, the details vary by church. So you should (or really, ask the bride/groom to) go to the church and talk to the pastor/priest who will be performing the ceremony to get their approval.

DramaGeek · January 2012

As others have pointed out, it really depends. Catholic ceremony? Tons of strict rules. Protestant ceremony? Totally different ball game, and it really depends on the church/pastor.

We did communion. We served each other, and we were the only ones who participated. We did not invite the congregation to participate. Our pastor just stood to the side while we lit our unity candle, signed our marriage license and then served each other communion.

MyNameIsNot · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:82aaa25c-ea5a-4a9e-960f-7f80469a8a29Post:d25436f4-a3d3-4f2b-8be8-8b78c518f6ee">Re: Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to be completely honest here. There is NO WAY you can honor the Catholic tradition in this situation. For Catholics, it must be bread and wine, it must be consecrated by a catholic priest, it must be open to the whole congregation (not just bride and groom), and it actually IS the body and blood of Christ. My point is that if your friends are getting married in a non-Catholic church, by a non-catholic minister, and doing private communion together, then there's nothing catholic about it.
Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

<div>In addition to this, I just want to point out that practicing Catholics are actually barred from taking communion that is not consecrated. </div><div>
</div><div>So you've got a problem. The Catholic cannot take protestant communion, and the protestant cannot take Catholic communion. I don't think this is going to work.</div>

toothpastechica · January 2012

what everyone has already said, it would be disrespectful to the catholic traditions as they believe communion literally becomes the blood and body of christ, its a holy sacriment, in evangelical christian circles communion is mearly symbolic of remembering the death of christ since Jesus asked his followers to remember him when they ate the bread and drank from the cup which would have been a normal thing to do at every meal they had in those days. I would imagine the only way to do would be to do it as symbolic (not catholic) but as people have said that has huge impact on the catholic partners future in the catholic church (however getting married in a non-catholic church by anyone but a catholic priest might too!)

artbyallie · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:82aaa25c-ea5a-4a9e-960f-7f80469a8a29Post:a542e5f3-c4de-40a4-8972-98ff290e82c8">Re: Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Communion : In addition to this, I just want to point out that practicing Catholics are actually barred from taking communion that is not consecrated. So you've got a problem. The Catholic cannot take protestant communion, and the protestant cannot take Catholic communion. I don't think this is going to work.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

<div>This is exactly what I was thinking. We took communion together with our pastor overseeing, but we're both Baptists so there was no issue. Your friend and her fiancé need to figure out which religion they're both going with and whether she wants to remain in the Catholic church or not.</div><div>
</div><div>Now, I'm not saying couples are doomed if they aren't of the same religion, but Catholicism has a lot of rules and restrictions that come into play when marriage and (future) children are involved. You can't stay Catholic and have a secular or Protestant wedding, for a start. (Well, I guess you <em>can</em> but the Church won't consider you a member in good standing, or that's how I understand it)</div>

MairePoppy · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:82aaa25c-ea5a-4a9e-960f-7f80469a8a29Post:80b1f7db-8c40-4650-bc55-33e632254da2">Re: Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless your friend is married in a Catholic church by a priest, <strong>she will not be able to participate in the mass again.</strong> She will be barred from communion. I suggest that she talk to a Catholic priest and get all the information before she makes any further plans. Protestant communions are do not have the same rules. Different denominations have different rules.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

This is not correct. Catholics are allowed to participate in mass, even if they marry outside of the church. They are not allowed to receive communion.

CMGr - I sent you a private message.

heather.mike · January 2012

Wow. I had no idea how strict the Catholic churches on these matters. I myself am Protestant, so I'm not privy to all the rules. Thank you all for your honest replies...I'll run this all by them and see what they think. They're not getting married in a church and they are probably not having a minister from either faith officiate... Sounds like if my friend knows the any of the rules, she doesnt care...but I'll make sure she knows.

toothpastechica · January 2012

If they are not having a minister perform the wedding and its not in a church, im confused as to why they want to do communion....its a religious symbol and if neither of them are commited to thier religion, whats the point of doing it at all?

tldh · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:82aaa25c-ea5a-4a9e-960f-7f80469a8a29Post:ed62c9a8-75c9-4e0b-9d86-25d1ff72ec62">Re: Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]If they are not having a minister perform the wedding and its not in a church, im confused as to why they want to do communion....its a religious symbol and if neither of them are commited to thier religion, whats the point of doing it at all?
Posted by toothpastechica[/QUOTE]

Exactly. They also run the risk of offending their guests. Even though I'm not a practicing Catholic, I would be highly offended to see them "taking communion" outside of mass.

redheadfsu · January 2012

Yeah...I don't think guests would receive it well.

I'm an atheist and I would still judge them for doing communion outside of a church. Even though I'm an atheist, I still respect other people's beliefs (My Aunt is a Nun, so I still know all the rules). My mouth would hit the floor if the bride and groom pretended to have communion outside of a church.

ootmother2 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_communion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:82aaa25c-ea5a-4a9e-960f-7f80469a8a29Post:80b1f7db-8c40-4650-bc55-33e632254da2">Re: Communion</a>:
[QUOTE]Unless your friend is married in a Catholic church by a priest, she will not be able to participate in the mass again. She will be barred from communion. I suggest that she talk to a Catholic priest and get all the information before she makes any further plans. Protestant communions are do not have the same rules. Different denominations have different rules.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

This is not correct.

A Catholic may marry in a Protestant church as long as a priest is officiating along with the minister. A dispensation is required but it's done pretty often in mixed marriages. She will still be able to take communion as their marriage will be valid if there is a priest there

. A Protestant minister or a Jewish rabbi may also co officiate with a priest at a wedding in the Catholic Church although it's extremely difficult to find a rabbi who will do this.

NOLAbridealmost · January 2012

Oy vey.

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