Having trouble w/ idea of registering...

hollyweenOR · March 2012

I'm 38, fi is 42, we've each been on our own since our very early 20s, he's owned our house for 15 years, I've been a pretty serious "foodie"/home cook all my adult life- what I'm getting at is, we don't need a darn thing. I have a Kitchen Aid (a big one w/ a bowl lift and a bigger motor than the standard model), a Cuisinart food processor, hand-selected high end knives, beautiful Laguiole steak knives, my grandmother's Wedgwood china and silver, and I am not a gadget-y cook- I have purchsed pretty much every kitchen tool (and donated to Goodwill most anything that only does one "thing") out there. My parents gave us a Dyson for Xmas. We have nice towels. Good sheets. What on earth should I be registering for?! I mean...the few things I'd even want are only things I don't own because they're a bit of an investment (VitaMix, bigger LeCrueset French oven, bigger AllClad saute pan), so I don't feel like it's appropriate to register for such big-ticket stuff. But I also am getting the drift that it's not good not to register, either. WWYD?

hoffse · March 2012

I might look more toward the decor side - see if there's a room you've been thinking about redecorating. Or maybe you two have hobbies together or board games you've been meaning to get? I know Williams Sonoma lets you register for wine in certain states... You might also want to consider a Sear's, Home Depot, or Amazon registry if there are any home improvement projects you two have been meaning to get to but just don't have the tools for.

If you really can't find anything to replace or upgrade except for those few things you mentioned, it's fine to put just those few expensive things on there - you might get one as a group gift, or you (more likely) will get gift cards you can put toward them. If I were you I would select a store with a decent completion discount, so you could treat yourself to one of those big ticket items after your wedding is over.

Usually I say that couples must find some smaller ticket items, but to be honest I feel a bit different when the couple is older... it's the 22-year-old that I roll my eyes at when she says she needs all-clad pans or she simply can't find anything inexpensive (and she's barely out of college). I feel like your family and friends are likely to know about the house and your hobbies - and personally I wouldn't be put off by a primarily high-ticket item registry from a you. I usually do give physical gifts, but if I saw that you really only wanted an all-clad skillet and a vitamix, I'd probably just give you a gift card toward that store.

rlavach · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_having-trouble-w-idea-of-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5b310a5c-d29e-4032-9660-747b8c4d5bb9Post:21e44cd3-5a27-43de-8a9c-0019a247102f">Re: Having trouble w/ idea of registering...</a>:
[QUOTE]I might look more toward the decor side - see if there's a room you've been thinking about redecorating. Or maybe you two have hobbies together or board games you've been meaning to get? I know Williams Sonoma lets you register for wine in certain states... You might also want to consider a Sear's, Home Depot, or Amazon registry if there are any home improvement projects you two have been meaning to get to but just don't have the tools for. If you really can't find anything to replace or upgrade except for those few things you mentioned, it's fine to put just those few expensive things on there - you might get one as a group gift, or you (more likely) will get gift cards you can put toward them. If I were you I would select a store with a decent completion discount, so you could treat yourself to one of those big ticket items after your wedding is over. Usually I say that couples must find some smaller ticket items, but to be honest I feel a bit different when the couple is older... it's the 22-year-old that I roll my eyes at when she says she needs all-clad pans or she simply can't find anything inexpensive (and she's barely out of college). I feel like your family and friends are likely to know about the house and your hobbies - and personally I wouldn't be put off by a primarily high-ticket item registry from a you. <strong>I usually do give physical gifts, but if I saw that you really only wanted an all-clad skillet and a vitamix, I'd probably just give you a gift card toward that store.</strong>
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]
That's exactly what I'd do too. Boy, do I envy you OP. I <em>wish</em> I was in that position. (not trying to be sarcastic)

ceh789 · March 2012

Hoffse's ideas are all good and I definately agree that I expect to see fewer low price items on a registry for a couple our ages. I would try to find a few though, especially if you're planning a shower.

One kitchen thing I put on is some additional spatulas - somehow I never have enough. I also added an additional Lazy Spoon - google it if you dont' know what it is - it's awesome for soup (I make a ton of soup). From your avatar I'm guessing you ski together? Could you use any upgrades/additional items there? Since you cook I'm guessing you also entertain - could you use additional barware or nicer crystal? What about nicer or additional table linens, trivets or serving dishes? One of our favorite after-dinner things is to play board games - are there any you'd like to have? What about yard things - are you happy with your garden furniture? Would you use a croquet set?

sparent2010 · March 2012

We have a lot of the stuff we already need but registered for some non traditional items since some people like giving physical gifts.

-Borderlands
-Tools
-Books
-Wine
-Ski Gear
-Camping gear
-Smoker

FI wants to put gun gear on there... I told him no.

Just some extras it doesn't need to be a huge registry.

pinkaurora · March 2012

If you're taking a honeymoon, think about registering for "experiences" while you're there, like boat rides, spa stuff, etc. A friend of mine registered for a dolphin swim for their honeymoon.

Another option might be to pick a few charitable organizations that are close to your heart (maybe a local food pantry, since you're a self described foodie) and set up a link for people to donate to them.

ceh789 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_having-trouble-w-idea-of-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5b310a5c-d29e-4032-9660-747b8c4d5bb9Post:43b58a74-cb4a-4557-a869-e0ce850d009d">Re: Having trouble w/ idea of registering...</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're taking a honeymoon, think about registering for "experiences" while you're there, like boat rides, spa stuff, etc. A friend of mine registered for a dolphin swim for their honeymoon. Another option might be to pick a few charitable organizations that are close to your heart (maybe a local food pantry, since you're a self described foodie) and set up a link for people to donate to them.
Posted by pinkaurora[/QUOTE]
This is horrible advice on both counts. Please don't do either of these things, they are rude.

MNVegas · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_having-trouble-w-idea-of-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5b310a5c-d29e-4032-9660-747b8c4d5bb9Post:43b58a74-cb4a-4557-a869-e0ce850d009d">Re: Having trouble w/ idea of registering...</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're taking a honeymoon, think about registering for "experiences" while you're there, like boat rides, spa stuff, etc. A friend of mine registered for a dolphin swim for their honeymoon. Another option might be to pick a few charitable organizations that are close to your heart (maybe a local food pantry, since you're a self described foodie) and set up a link for people to donate to them.
Posted by pinkaurora[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Theses would be a request for cash gifts which is inappropriate.

</div>

Cortney1982 · March 2012

I agree with registering for those big ticket items. You may get enough gift certificates for that store to purchase the items.

rlavach · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_having-trouble-w-idea-of-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5b310a5c-d29e-4032-9660-747b8c4d5bb9Post:43b58a74-cb4a-4557-a869-e0ce850d009d">Re: Having trouble w/ idea of registering...</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're taking a honeymoon, think about registering for "experiences" while you're there, like boat rides, spa stuff, etc. A friend of mine registered for a dolphin swim for their honeymoon. Another option might be to pick a few charitable organizations that are close to your heart (maybe a local food pantry, since you're a self described foodie) and set up a link for people to donate to them.
Posted by pinkaurora[/QUOTE]
Oh boy. You haven't been on here that long, have you?

Tandra&Devin · March 2012

You won't get a good response about honeymoon or charity registries on The Knot, but they are an option that many people love. Mine has gone over very well so far.

If you don't want to register anywhere, don't.

jerseychic24 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_having-trouble-w-idea-of-registering?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:5b310a5c-d29e-4032-9660-747b8c4d5bb9Post:43b58a74-cb4a-4557-a869-e0ce850d009d">Re: Having trouble w/ idea of registering...</a>:
[QUOTE]If you're taking a honeymoon, think about registering for "experiences" while you're there, like boat rides, spa stuff, etc. A friend of mine registered for a dolphin swim for their honeymoon. Another option might be to pick a few charitable organizations that are close to your heart (maybe a local food pantry, since you're a self described foodie) and set up a link for people to donate to them.
Posted by pinkaurora[/QUOTE]

I agree and I know people do like this idea but its up to you and your FI. If you dont need anything and dont want to do the traditional registry then do it

mdeidre · March 2012

I agree about registering the big ticket items for the reasons stated by PPs. Home decor is always a good idea, as well. The retailer I work for has a 10% completion discount as well as a program to give you rewards back for purchases made by your guests. There are other stores that offer completion discounts, but some of them put a cap on how much you can get in dicounts, so make sure you shop around and read the fine print. I had a bride recently who wanted a bunch of Swarovski, so she registered for it, knowing that few people she knew would actually buy it, but would most likely give her gift cards that she could use towards buying them herself with her discount.

Bett2012 · March 2012

FI and I joked about registering for a puppy

James Girl · March 2012

Oh yes - when I was younger I thought registering was 'grabby' on the bride's part but really it guides the guests who want to honor you, and reciprocate any gifts you have given them. They ultimately choose how much they will spend, and don't have to follow the registry. On another board, a guest made a collage for the bride which included her shower invites and wedding invite, plus a few flowers... That wouldn't cost much!

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