Are your bridesmaids paying for a dress and SHOES?

sheilahey · March 2010

Hi,
I just wanted to see what other brides are doing. I feel bad asking my bridemaids to all wear the same shoes, when they already spent a good $170 on the dresses..what do you all think...
I mean I found some super cute ones at payless and if we do the half price sale each girl will only spend about another $20, but is this asking to much?

Should I really obsess if their shoes match too?

Thanks for the input!

blackfire5th · March 2010

My bm all wore black shoes. I think most of them already had a pair. They all changed into flip flops for the reception.

gottahavashorti · March 2010

Don't obsess over their shoes. I only notice BM shoes if I have shoe envy. Just choose a neutral color, very general guidelines like "strappy sandals" if you wish. That gives them to purchase something they like, borrow from a friend or dig around in their closets for their shoes.

anne.azano · March 2010

My bridesmaids are paying for their dress and shoes (I'm chipping in 50 bucks for one who doesn't make much), but I'm paying for their jewelry, hair and make-up (and of course a monogrammed snuggie as a gift

).

I don't care what kind of shoes they get, I haven't even really thought about specifying a color. It's a summer wedding and they're wearing blue, so I'll probably say silver, but as other girls have said, who really cares? What's most important is that they feel beautiful and comfortable and not terribly inconvenienced by an overpriced dress.

swim1011 · March 2010

Let them pick a color, and if you have something you don't want them to wear (eg- hooker shoes), tell them that. Then trust them to buy, or own, a pair that's suitable. Not worth worrying about. That way, they get to pick what they want, and you don't have to worry about costing them extra money unless they want to spend it.

lalap69 · March 2010

Can you even remember what shoes the BMs wore at the last wedding you went to? No one will notice. Like PP said, specify a colour or style and let them choose their own.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

Ditto PP's. I was freaking out about this too at first, but after I posted it on my local board, everyone said the same. All my girls are wearing silver heels, not too high and they are picking out them thereselves. It is just too hard and not right for you to tell them all the same brand and style. HTH

suz62984 · March 2010

I'm not really obsessed with the shoes. My girls will have on long dresses too. All I ask is that they wear the same color (haven't decided yet). Also, they are purchasing their own gowns. I have a few BMs that are having financial problems so if needed I can step in and at least pay for some of the dress.

CTGirl30 · March 2010

My girls all bought their BM dresses and will be wearing whatever shoes they choose in the color silver. So this gives them the option of wearing a pair of silver shoes they might already own / picking out their own heel height & style & price range if they choose to buy a new pair.

Shoes really aren't anything worth stressing over.

PS - if it were me as a BM in your wedding, I'd rather keep my extra $20 and use it for something I got to pick out for myself - not a pair of shoes for your wedding that I might not necessarily have purchased otherwise. KWIM?

stina93446 · March 2010

PLEASE don't make your girls wear the same shoe. Not everyones' feet like the same shoes. I know a girl who was forced to wear gold stilettos for a wedding and had to have foot surgery because of it.

I let my bms wear their own black shoes. No one really remembers the bms shoes, and they were wearing short dresses too. Honestly, no one looks at these details.

mbcdefg · March 2010

Mine are picking out their own shoes.

I've never noticed whether BMs have identical shoes when I attend weddings. The only time I ever noticed shoes was when I was talking to a BM in a floor-length lavender dress, and I happened to notice dyed-to-match shoes peeking out from under her dress when she moved her foot. And all I could think was, "You *really* had to spend money on ugly shoes that nobody will ever see?"

I also don't really get the purpose of buying $20 shoes just for the hell of it, when they may very well have a nicer, more quality pair of shoes at home that'd complement the dress just as well, if not better.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

I gave my girls a color, silver, and asked them to find their own shoes. Two had a pair, one borrowed them, and my shoe-addicted SIL had an excuse to buy new shoes.

No one cares if their shoes match. And while $20 is reasonable for shoes, you can be sure that they won't all be comfortable in those shoes. Just pick a color and let them go with it. If they want to buy something, it's their own budget, and they'll choose something their style that they will wear again.

sphinx24 · March 2010

I just asked my bridesmaids to wear silver shoes, they are wearing long dresses so people probably won't see them even if they were lime green

quotequeen · March 2010

I am paying for the dresses, and told the girls to wear whatever shoes they want. I'm not even specifying the color. The dresses are floor length, so hopefully the shoes won't really be visible anyway.

My SIL told me she was probably going to get shoes dyed to match. Ummmm... ok, WHY would you do that? But if that's what she wants, hey, whatever.

megk8oz · March 2010

Ditto the PPs: just give basic guidelines and pick something neutral (I tend to always vote for silver or gold, but black is good, too). Don't worry if they "match".

I told my girls "silver, that you can walk in". That was all I cared about. All 3 went out separately ... and actually wound up with the exact same pair of shoes. Apparently, there was a really good sale at a store, the pair they picked was going for $10. It was funny, because all 3 of them when they found them texted me saying "OMG, I found the perfect shoes ... AND THEY'RE $10!!!!!!".

JHS16 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaids-paying-dress-shoes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:21d56855-04c3-4936-a0a8-8390293122c3Post:4d82bd25-f54c-4b6e-9b3e-9fc69a6eaba9">Re: Are your bridesmaids paying for a dress and SHOES?</a>:
[QUOTE]PLEASE don't make your girls wear the same shoe. Not everyones' feet like the same shoes.<strong> I know a girl who was forced to wear gold stilettos for a wedding and had to have foot surgery because of it</strong>. I let my bms wear their own black shoes. No one really remembers the bms shoes, and they were wearing short dresses too. Honestly, no one looks at these details.
Posted by stina93446[/QUOTE]

<div>Whoa, really?! What happened in a matter of a couple hours of wearing shoes that was serious enough for surgery? That's crazy!</div>

Are your bridesmaids paying for a dress and SHOES?

Re: Are your bridesmaids paying for a dress and SHOES?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards