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MOH not getting the point...

mandctaftmandctaft
100 Comments Second Anniversary
in Pre-wedding Parties

Okay, so my MOH's idea of a bachelorette party is going to the bar, getting really drunk, and falling all over a bunch of strange guys.

While I want to go to the bar at the end of the evening for a few party games, I told her my cousin wants to throw a Pure Romance party for free (she's a representative/host) just because it would be something fun to do and that I really like the idea. My MOH said that she'd think of something fun to do at the bar. I don't want to spend my whole party at a bar.

Also, my aunt really wants to attend, but she only comes up from Virginia about once every 2 months so she'll be up for the wedding and I want to have the party when she comes up the time before. That way she can attend and that is completely out of the way and I can concentrate on finishing planning the wedding.

She said she is going to get the bar to book a band for us three weeks before the wedding and I told her what day I want it and she says its too far from the wedding date and to let her handle it.

I don't want to micro-manage, but I have only a few conditions and she is completely blowing me off. What should I do?

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Re: MOH not getting the point...

  • CassieeKCassieeK
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would tell her that if she is going to plan a party that makes you uncomfortable, you would rather not have a party.
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  • ShakeUpTampaShakeUpTampa member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Decline her party and see if anyone else offers. it is also 8 months out from the wedding so things can change.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-not-getting-point?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:ac12254f-f8fd-4bca-be79-a70c4af8c6b1Post:5581d19f-9b5d-415c-b018-b806631004a4">Re: MOH not getting the point...</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can certainly decline the bar crawl thing. I told her my cousin wants to throw a Pure Romance party for free (she's a representative/host) just because it would be something fun to do and that I really like the idea This, though, is a huge breach of etiquette on several levels.  Those "parties" are really for sales purposes, and in this case, it's soliciting for your sister.   That's appropriate for after the wedding,  not for a shower or a bachelorette party.  Please don't.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]



    I agree with both things. You can always decline attending the party and you should also try to keep your party from becoming a way of soliciting money for your sister.

    I mean it's great that she would be willing to do the party for free, but she shouldn't be trying to make money off of the guests at the bachelorette party.

    Also, I thought representatives aren't supposed to charge a fee for showing up, so wouldn't it be free anyway?
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  • mandctaftmandctaft
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-not-getting-point?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:ac12254f-f8fd-4bca-be79-a70c4af8c6b1Post:5581d19f-9b5d-415c-b018-b806631004a4">Re: MOH not getting the point...</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can certainly decline the bar crawl thing. I told her my cousin wants to throw a Pure Romance party for free (she's a representative/host) just because it would be something fun to do and that I really like the idea This, though, is a huge breach of etiquette on several levels.  Those "parties" are really for sales purposes, and in this case, it's soliciting for your sister.   That's appropriate for after the wedding,  not for a shower or a bachelorette party.  Please don't.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    She wasn't going to do it to sell things. Just an idea she had. She said she wouldn't take any orders, but if there was interest she would come back for a different sales party.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_moh-not-getting-point?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:ac12254f-f8fd-4bca-be79-a70c4af8c6b1Post:166c65b7-c3c0-4c1b-b6ce-532a94ea5d7c">Re: MOH not getting the point...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH not getting the point... : She wasn't going to do it to sell things. Just an idea she had. She said she wouldn't take any orders, but if there was interest she would come back for a different sales party.
    Posted by mandctaft[/QUOTE]
    What was she going to do with the products, then? Demonstrate them... so they can buy them later, therefore, in affect, she'll be making money off of your guests? She's still using your bachelorette party as a way to make money. It's just not the time or place for that.
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  • MrsSmith2Be02MrsSmith2Be02 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I understand the sentiments of the PP, however, I've been to a Pure Romance party for my friend's 21st bday.....it was all prior to the stripper came. We had a ball! Sometimes you never know how your friends REALLY are until some different types of parties....typically those 21, 25, 30, and Bachelorette Parties are the only times people have those type of parties.

    In with your MOH, I would just flat out tell her what you want. Tell her you don't want to go to the bar and get drunk. That's no fun! You can do that at home. LOL.

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  • annmarie714annmarie714 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    There's nothing wrong with laying your foot down & stating you don't want a drunk fest.  It's one thing to try & control a party by saying "I want this decoration/food/game/etc" but it's another thing when it will flat-out make you uncomfortable.
    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
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