Jewish Weddings
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Jewish wedding and civil wedding separate in time

This is in follow-up to a question on another thread, where I said my FI and I are separating these two events by as much as a few months.

Jewishly, our Conservative rabbi has NO problem with it. My FI is a real stickler for Halacha, and had a long conversation with the rabbi before we agreed to do it this way. Many of our friends here in Seattle have separated their ceremonies for various reasons-- health insurance, marriage equality (wanting to marry legally  in BC where gays and lesbians can marry) or whatever.  We are going to separate the two by as much as 6 months for immigration reasons, we want to start the  legal immigration process as soon as practical.

Our plan is to have just two, non-jewish, witnesses at the legal ceremony. My mom is a bit disappointed about this, but we really want to community to recognize the Ketubah ceremony, not the BC legal ceremony, as our wedding.  Both ceremonies are important to us (to some extent the Jewish one is more meaningful to us than the civil one) so we have no problem having them a few months apart. We will recognize the Jewish ceremony date as our anniversary.

Re: Jewish wedding and civil wedding separate in time

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    RachiemooRachiemoo member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    that plan sounds good to me, best of luck!
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    2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The immigration requirements are so difficult that few people are able to have much of a wedding ceremony in the time frame required.  (You have to have the wedding within 90 days after the visa is received, but there is no telling in advance when the visa will be received.)  I think having a quick civil ceremony, followed by a larger Jewish ceremony later on, may well be your best bet.

    Oh, and good luck to you on the immigration process!  Because our (same-sex) marriage is not recognized by the federal government, NotFroofy could not get a fiancee visa.  It took us nine years of jumping through hoops before we could get her a green card.
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    lachlomlachlom member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am Orthodox and we are getting civilly married before we get Jewishly married. They are two totally separate things. However, we are still abiding by halacha and not moving in together/all the things that come with that until the Jewish marriage. The civil marriage is purely for practical reasons, and that's why it's happening beforehand.
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