Family Wedding Party... What about my friends?

Re: Family Wedding Party... What about my friends?

• Maggie0829 member

  

  January 2013

  Lucky for you nothing has been set in stone.  Do not ask anyone to be in your wedding party until you are about 8 months from your date.  And definitely do not ask anyone until you have a determined date with a booked venue.
  
  You need to ask the people you are closest with.  If that means your 6 friends and no family members then that is what you should do.  The same goes with your FI.  Neither of you should have any say in who the other asks.  Period.
  
  If you do go the route of just having your family in the wedding party you can still have great pictures with your friends by pulling them aside with your photographer and taking some pictures.  You can also invite them to come and get ready with you the day of.  They do not have to be a part of the wedding party to be with you the day of your wedding.

  
  

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• AdeleDazeem member

  

  January 2013 edited January 2013

  Have your friends offered to help you with the wedding?  If they have, then great!  If not, don't push or force them.  It's no one's job to plan the wedding except you and your fiance.
  
  It's fine that they aren't in the wedding party.  My friends have done family only.  I also did it.  People understand.  It's fine.
  
  If you want to include them, you can offer them to get ready with you the morning of or you can thank them at the reception in a toast or in the program.  Other than that, you can just tell them how much you love them. 
  
  Don't ask them to wear anything special.  Just let them be guests.  Being a guest is an honor, too!
  
  Tell your photographer that you want some pictures with your friends.  They will be happy to oblige.  Photos aren't a secret rendez-vous with just the wedding party.  Invite whom you wish to be in pictures with you.  Tell them to come to pictures after the ceremony or that you will need them for a few minutes during the reception.
  
  Good luck!

  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  January 2013

  Ditto Maggie and Joy. If you want them in the wedding party, have them in it. If you stick with family, you can still have them with you and in pictures. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• bridalmarch member

  

  January 2013

  Except for gifts, which can be small, the cost to the bride an groom of having a wedding party is pretty negligible. It's generally accepted that as long as you stay in the WP's budget, they will buy their own dress/provide their own shoes and accessories. Just a thought if you do want to have them. 

  
  

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2013

  The members of your wedding party should be those persons closest to you, whether or not they're your family members.  It's okay to have your friends as attendants together with, or instead of, your family members if you feel really close to them.

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• kmmssg mod

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_family-wedding-party-what-about-my-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:3d9ef50d-2679-4e80-9a4d-0260c8aebb05Post:873577c2-0d9f-40a3-b01e-4ce575d1835a">Re: Family Wedding Party... What about my friends?</a>:
  [QUOTE]Except for gifts, which can be small, the cost to the bride an groom of having a wedding party is pretty negligible. It's generally accepted that as long as you stay in the WP's budget, they will buy their own dress/provide their own shoes and accessories. Just a thought if you do want to have them. 
  Posted by bridalmarch[/QUOTE]
  
  Actually, there is significant cost associated with each BP member.  You need a bout or bouquet for each one, a decent, non-wedding related thank you gift, and a place for the BP member and their date at the RD.  Figure flowers, gift, and 2 dinners/drinks for each member.

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• bridalmarch member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_family-wedding-party-what-about-my-friends?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3d9ef50d-2679-4e80-9a4d-0260c8aebb05Post:7f54de89-7a8e-41e7-834c-4c96e703e39d">Re: Family Wedding Party... What about my friends?</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Family Wedding Party... What about my friends? : Actually, there is significant cost associated with each BP member.  You need a bout or bouquet for each one, a decent, non-wedding related thank you gift, and a place for the BP member and their date at the RD.  Figure flowers, gift, and 2 dinners/drinks for each member.
  Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]
  
  <div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;">I'm having a flowerless wedding and bought supplies for my bouquet, 7 BM bouquets, 5 corsages, and 13 boutonnieres for about $85. That's about $3.26 per party member and bride and groom. We're using feathers. </div></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;">
  </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;">WP gifts can be budgeted, crafted, baked, etc for very cheap. </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;">
  </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;">RD can be a backyard BBQ, pizza party, pasta party, or other cheap meal ideas that feed lots of people. </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;">
  </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;">I just don't think cost should be a factor in deciding who will stand with you on such an important day. There are always ways to do things cheaply if you look. </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;">
  </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;line-height:normal;"> </div>

  

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• luckypenny1120 member

  

  January 2013

  Thank you to everyone who responded!!  It has given me alot to think about and makes me realize I have alot more options than I thought 

  
  

  I greatly appreciate all of your advice!!

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